First of all, welcome to Healing Well depression forum. I am so happy that you have found us.
I really think that you should take a step back and relax and work on your trust issues before you decide to find another relationship to start.
Your father did what he did because he was in love I guess and he wanted to be happy. I think it is sad though that you had to put up with somebody that caused you to feel like she hated you. That has to be hard to deal with.
Have you or are you seeing a therapist? It sounds like you have a few issues and therapy would really help you. But in the meantime we are here for you so keep posting.
I can understand your trust issues. Sometimes it is just easier not to have friends or see people, but it isn't healthy to push people away because you don't want to feel volnerable. That is my reason. I don't let people get to know me. It is easier that way. But I am learning that relationships are okay. Disagreeing is okay and so is making mistakes. It is human, and people still care even if they mess up. That is just life.
I hope that you can understand what I am trying to say.
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies