Did you have an abortion or are you thinking about having one.
This is a choice that only you can make. And you have to live with it no matter what.
Please give us some more information, we are here for you. No body will judge you so try and feel comfortable here so we can help you.
I know that it isn't an easy decision to make. You have to weigh out the consequences in a situation like this. And if you do it, you can't dwell on it or feel guilty for what you did. You can grieve it, but then you have to get on with life. I am sure that you aren't taking this lightly, and that is normal.
Like I say, give us some more information on you situation and we will help you get through it. Sweetie, you are only human. Remember that, and remember whatever you have decided was probably for the best and we are here for you.
Please post more,
Luv and hugs, Karen
This is Kitt and welcome to our forum. Please do give us a few more details so we can give you the appropriate support and advice, OK. Gentle Hugs to you. Don't be afraid, you are not alone.
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety, Panic & Depression *~*
I am oh so very sorry this has happened and I know how much pain your are in. I am sure you spent a lot of time discussing all the pros and cons and what to do. Yes, you feel depressed and I understand it bringing back old memories. Please talk to someone close to you that you can trust and tell them how you feel. When you return to the clinic let them know how you feel. You are grieving and let yourself feel the sorrow.
Yes it will get better in time but right now you need love and understanding. You have that from me and if you want to email me my email is open, just click on the blue envelope by my name.
I will pray for you and gentle hugs
We are open 24/7 so you can always come here and talk to us. We are more then happy to support you and talk with you. I am sorry you have no one to talk to where you are but I do understand completely.
Good Morning Molly,
Just dropping in to say hello and to let you know Iam thinking of you so post when you feel up to it. We are here for you.
Thanks so much for the welcome. I just discovered this forum yesterday and I don't think I've seen the level of support among posters and moderators in a mental health forum before. In fact, this is the first message I've ever posted on such a forum - I usually just stick to the ones discussing TV shows!
Thank you for maintaining such a comprehensive well laid-out forum. I've found a lot of the discussions here to be useful and informative, especially the ones on medications, I've probably tried 16 different ones over the years. I hope I can contribute something useful in the other threads also.
Thanks for the kind words. It is good that your boyfriend is sticking by you. But it is ok to "pick and choose" from whatever he says to heart. The "get over it" attitude is the default response for a lot of guys in this situation simply because they don't know what to say or how to act, and they may even feel some guilt and sadness themselves that they do not know how to fully express.
I think this is especially true of Hindu men (I'm guessing your boyfriend is), because I have also been in a previous relationship with one (Nepalese) - their family values are very traditional and ingrained, and children out of wedlock is frowned upon. I suggest that you try to explain to him that it will take some time to make the emotional (and physical) adjustment and to please be understanding and patient.
My thoughts are with you, I was in exactly the same position with regards to not having someone available to speak to candidly without fear of judgement and living in a foreign country. However you have a bigger challenge living in such a radically different culture. I would strongly urge you to seek out someone to talk to, only if it is for a few sessions. Sometimes its good to just get it all out in one go. I did a quick internet search and I found the Indian Psychologists Association - http://www.iacp.in/index.htm . They may be a good place to start if you want to try that avenue. Try not to be discouraged by negative reactions, keep going until you find someone. Maybe even ask for a referral or suggestions from a social group in the British Embassy? I came across a few british expat sites, here is one for india: http://brit.meetup.com/cities/in/
You also face a big challenge having to work in a service industry and trying to put on a "brave face" every day. I was lucky in that I could just hide in my office under my desk! If it is available to you, I would also suggest taking one or two days off work just to take some time for yourself as long as you don't isolate yourself for too long. Don't place pressure on yourself to 'get over' this, try to cut down as many work, social or other stress-inducing obligations as you can.
If there's one thing I've learned, its that in times of stress, proper nutrition is vital. Getting the proper nutrients, (espcially tryptophan and glutomate which stimulate neural transmitters including serotonin), drinking water and getting some exposure to sun light are all good non-drug therapy.
I hope you return to keep us updated. I've signed off to be notified of any replies here, and so I'm here to offer advice or just "listen".
Enz (a fellow Commonwealthian!)
There is something comforting about baring your soul to the members of HealingWell and still being able to be anonymous.
Please stick with us as you are one awesome lady.
Just checking in to see how you are and to let you know I am here and if you need anything please ask.
I am so happy with the wonderful support and responses you have received. I am especially happy to see how the women are willing to share their own stories with you. That makes this forum a success as well as a safe place to come and talk with other members.
Gentle Hugs to you today and know I care.Kitt
Thank you for being so welcoming and supportive, I wish I had discovered this forum sooner. Normally I'm pretty guarded and not so candid, but I had such difficulty finding anything, even just self-help books on the subject and so it was here I felt compelled to share. And you are so right, there is something comforting about getting everything out.
Thank you for the suggestion, I would like to come back and contribute more in other threads about topics I'm familiar with like major and chronic depression, feeling suicidal, bulimia, anxiety, cutting, OCD... basically the whole gamut of mood disorders! As well as my experiences with different meds, their effectiveness and side effects. In fact I only stumbled upon this site last week after searching for info on zoloft withdrawal.
Thank you for being so kind, I have ctrl-D'd this site to my favorites!
Thanx to everyone for your support.
I had the crazy idea of getting pregnant again and keeping the baby, i guess to try and heal the pain. I suggested this to my boyfriend who says its a realy bad idea and one day i will understand that i have done the right thing.
Now i am becoming obsessed with my weight, i know this is a keeping control of things issue and am familliar with this type of depression but once i get into it i cant help myself. I also own a gym which im spending every free moment in and eating very little. my weight is dropping fast and i know its not healthy but like i say it gives me some satisfaction to be on control of something, i feel my life is out of control. My weight is now 54kg, it was 65 two weeks ago before all this happened.
I have to get control somehow for the sake of my kids. I used to drink to forget my problems but have not had any alcohol since march when i had my seccond attack of pancreasitis. It was very severe and docs told me to stop drinking and live or drink and die. I chose to live but now im so messed up!!
Its great to be able to let out all this stuff here and remain anonymous. Thanx all x