I agree with Darren, you need professional counseling and we are not professionals, we are peers and here to suppot you as you take steps toward trying to heal.
Gentle hugs and please try to work toward getting better.
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety, Panic & Depression *~*
Confused, I think it is natural to feel a certain amount of jealousy but it is something you will need to get over if you are going to have a successful relationship with your bf. Social anxiety is getting to be a more common thing and it is something that can be resolved by working with a therapist and also I know there are meds that help. If you get too jealous and possesive with your bf you may drive him away. It is natural for people to keep mementos or pictures from past relationships. I have been divorced 25 years and I still have my wedding album and sometimes look at the pictures because it was a happy day for me. But that does not mean in any way that I would want to be with my ex. If your bf has not spoken to his old girlfirend in several years you don't really need to worry. The point is he is with you now and that is what matters. Having fights with him and obsessing about him with his friends is going to make him rethink your relationship and you may end up pushing him away without wanting to. I think as the others have said you need to have the advice of a neutral person and that would be a good therapist who can teach you ways to cope with your feelings. I hope you will consider therapy and in the mean time if you need immediate help do contact one of the crises hotlines that Kitt has listed for you. We all have hard times but you can do this and find that you will have a happier life. Please keep us posted on what you are doing. I survived my ex leaving one day when I was gone and came home to crying children and a house with all his possesions moved out and I had no idea he was planning this. I made a new life for myself, so take heart in knowing that you can work out your feelings.
Post Edited (getting by) : 6/24/2008 12:55:05 AM (GMT-6)
Dang I hate admitting to the dumb things I did................but if it helps you see you are not alone. When my husband and I got married he had all these pictures from when he was in the navy. They were party pictures of him out with his buddies and girls sitting on his lap..............Oh yeah, I got the scissors and cut out all the girls in the pictures of him with them.
Now that was sick, and he was angry with me..............I was expecting our baby and feeling really fat and ugly and these cute tiny little gals draped all over him just rocked my boat.
I have learned now that he is a man of his word and he has never strayed in 37 years although he may look, he is the best hubby.
I had an ex husband who was a creep so I had some reasons to not trust. I learned quickly and I think you will too if you remember your the one your b/f chose so be confident that he has chosen well.
Hugs to you
I am so glad my confession put a smile on your face..............
Let the sun warm you and I wish for you peace and happiness but most of all I wish you love.