Hello and welcome to HealingWell and the Depression Forum. I believe that you will find lots of members that will listen to you here an advice you but please remember we are not professionals so our advice is from our own life experiences.
First of all my sincere sympathy at the loss of your Father. I am glad you were able to make amends with each other before his untimely death. Hold that close to your heart. That is a good thing.
I do not know what part of the country you are in but perhaps there are other agencies that could help you with programs for the children and getting you some relief from all your stress.
For right now, I think you need to take care of you and the new baby that is coming and not dwell on your Mother or anything else.
You have paid your dues for whatever wrong you did and you have nothing to be ashamed about so hold your head up high and take babysteps towards becoming more calm and centered.
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety, Panic & Depression *~*
The fear of failure is perhaps the strongest force holding people below their potential.
But playing it safe has risk as well. If you never dare to fail your success will have a low ceiling. Perhaps you underestimate your merit and ability to recover from failure, and that is causing you to pass up valuable opportunities. The ability to fail big and fail often has been a mark of the spectacularly successful throughout history.
If you have a goal, but are afraid to commit, force yourself into action by using self talk and confindence building exercises. Keep telling yourself you are a good person. Ask yourself what is the worst thing that could happen if I fail.............
Stay in the moment and just picture yourself successful.
If you need counseling I think you should persue that as it will help you tremendously. So why keep hiding and not take a chance on happiness? Everyone is afraid at different times in their lives.
If you read the many stories here you will see it time and again but we really attempt to try to help people to move forward...............one step at a time.
You can do this can't you? I think so.