In need of Counseling

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tsdearman
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 16
   Posted 6/24/2008 9:12 PM (GMT -7)   
I am new to the site. I really need to talk to someone. Is there anyone who can talk to me? I am in need of counseling. Thank you

enWayen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 6/25/2008 12:33 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi,

Welcome to HealingWell!
There are lots of really nice and helpful members on HW, who are all ready to listen to you. Most members have an email that can be viewed in their profile if you want to keep it private. Though I'd suggest posting here on the forum, because you will get reply's from different people with different views to life and different thougts. Plus it can be a great help to those other members as well.

So if you have anything you'd like to say, go ahead, I'll listen.

One last thing, isn't there a possibility of getting professional counseling somewhere around you? Most of us on HW can help you, but I still think professional counseling is a great addition to that.

All the best!
Erik
Acceptance is the key

Existential depression and Insecurity

Try to keep smiling! :)


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 6/25/2008 3:49 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Dearman

Welcome to the forum,we are very glad that you found us,and hope that we can help you as best as we can.


Let us know what is going on so we all can help.
Shy


Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

Please remember,I am not a professional..I am just a person who is also fighting depression.


I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.


tsdearman
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 16
   Posted 6/25/2008 6:22 AM (GMT -7)   
Well let me start my introducing myself. My name is Tonya and I am a stay at home mom with 3 boys and one due next month. I have quite a history with depression and anxiety. I also have a history of self medicating myself with drugs. I have been clean for 5 years. I am not really sure where to start. First I am going crazy being at home all the time. I enrolled in beauty college but money is tight for our family and can't afford child care. We have a child care assistance program where I live but they won't even send me an application until I start school. How much sense does that make?? Then there is a 2 month waiting list. I sometimes feel that the harder I try to make things better for myself, the more I get knocked down. I know this all seems trivial but let me explain.... I was adopted when I was 6 yrs old and have suffered from emotional problems most of my life. I was in and out of foster homes where I was abused... growing up I made bad choices and was in and out of jail. This is the first time in my life that I am doing things right... But I am overwhelmed. My husband is out of town all the time, which leaves me a single mother and sometimes I just can't handle it. I just want to run. Also my father committed suicide in January of this year and I had just mended my relationship with him. He was all I had left. My mother won't talk to me and she has custody of my daughter. Correction she will talk to me but she is hateful. I know I am making progress because I talked to my daughter for the first time in 5 years twice last week. My husband works his butt off with nothing to show because it all goes on bills. I have a step son who hates me, which I don't blame him as I am so tempermental these days. I also am having a baby in about 4 weeks so I am too tired to go anywhere, which I couldn't afford anyways. I just feel like there is no where to turn. I can't schedule an appointment with a counseler because I don't have a sitter and I need to focus on therapy but with a 1 year old that is impossible. So I am turning to strangers online. I just really need to talk ... Thank you

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/25/2008 6:37 AM (GMT -7)   

tsdearman

Hello and welcome to HealingWell and the Depression Forum.  I believe that you will find lots of members that will listen to you here an advice you but please remember we are not professionals so our advice is from our own life experiences.

First of all my sincere sympathy at the loss of your Father.  I am glad you were able to make amends with each other before his untimely death.  Hold that close to your heart.  That is a good thing.

I do not know what part of the country you are in but perhaps there are other agencies that could help you with programs for the children and getting you some relief from all your stress.

For right now, I think you need to take care of you and the new baby that is coming and not dwell on your Mother or anything else.

You have paid your dues for whatever wrong you did and you have nothing to be ashamed about so hold your head up high and take babysteps towards becoming more calm and centered.

Keep posting.

Kitt


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety, Panic & Depression 
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~


tsdearman
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 16
   Posted 6/25/2008 6:45 AM (GMT -7)   
The loss of my father was very traumatic...He was a Dr. in Theology and no one ever saw it coming. He moved so many lives in his nationwide ministry and yes I hold our relationship dear in my heart. I just feel that I am all alone. I have a wonderful husband, he is so supportive of me and knows my past and loves me regardless. Yet we are having intimacy problems and he like any other man pouts and stomps his feet and it is not what I need right now. We have been fighting a lot (not physically) just arguing. I feel he is selfish about his sexual needs which just adds to the stress. But I couldn't of asked for a better man he loves me sooo much. I think I often set myself up for failure by setting too high of expectations for myself. There is so much I want to do that I know that would make me feel better but I am sooo afraid of failing. I hope I don't overwhelm anyone I just really need to get these things out. Thank you

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/25/2008 8:19 AM (GMT -7)   

Hello again,

The fear of failure is perhaps the strongest force holding people below their potential.

But playing it safe has risk as well. If you never dare to fail your success will have a low ceiling. Perhaps you underestimate your merit and ability to recover from failure, and that is causing you to  pass up valuable opportunities. The ability to fail big and fail often has been a mark of the spectacularly successful throughout history.

If you have a goal, but are afraid to commit, force yourself into action by using self talk and confindence building exercises.  Keep telling yourself you are a good person.  Ask yourself what is the worst thing that could happen if I fail.............

Stay in the moment and just picture yourself successful.

Take care.
Kitt


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety, Panic & Depression 
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~


tsdearman
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 16
   Posted 6/25/2008 8:25 AM (GMT -7)   
Playing it safe is what is keeping me in this depression. I have learned one thing in my life....i t is a lot easier to get yourself in trouble, but it takes years to make it right again and through the years of trying to make it right you think that you are not getting anywhere becuase you are so used to the quick fix

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40595
   Posted 6/25/2008 11:43 AM (GMT -7)   
But you are getting somewhere, you are successfully raising your boys and you have one on the way. A prescious baby can really change things.

As Kitt said, take baby steps, hold your head up high and be yourself. You sound like a wonderful person and I think that you underestimate yourself.

Keep posting, we are here for you.

hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/25/2008 1:13 PM (GMT -7)   

tsdearman

If you need counseling I think you should persue that as it will help you tremendously.  So why keep hiding and not take a chance on happiness?  Everyone is afraid at different times in their lives. 

If you read the many stories here you will see it time and again but we really attempt to try to help people to move forward...............one step at a time.

You can do this can't you?  I think so.

Kitt


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety, Panic & Depression 
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~

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