using it against me

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how to stop the pain
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 30
   Posted 6/30/2008 4:30 AM (GMT -7)   
I sometime swant to go to a thrapist but I am afraid it will be used against me.  i know it is suppose to be private but I am afraid someone would find out.  Even though my husband says and I believe he would never divorce me --there is a par tof me that says he is a fool to stay with me when I am like this.  I am afraid he would leave and use the fact that I was diagnosed with depression to tkae the kids from me and I couldn't live with that.  Am I just crazy.  i have thought sometime of writng to him about my problems to see if I could be clearer then when we talk but then I think I want nothing in writing.  I am getting so parinoid.  I an gong to my moms and have to pretend I am happy for 5 days   Help

ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 6/30/2008 4:49 AM (GMT -7)   
Pain

You need to take a deep breath. For one, your husband would never be able to use it against you.
Depression does not mean you are a bad person,you do not hurt your kids and you are asking for help.

Your husband obviously loves you,he has stood by your side all of this time.

Give him a chance to do the right thing.
Tell him you are scared and let him help you.


While at your mom's,if it gets too bad,then go for a walk by yourself,just to give yourself some alone time to deal with your thoughts.

It is going to be ok....
Shy


Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

Please remember,I am not a professional..I am just a person who is also fighting depression.


I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.


djdaz_1985
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 6/30/2008 3:00 PM (GMT -7)   

Shy is right. It is important to remember that depression does not make you a bad person, a weak person, a retarded person or any other kind of negative person. Around 33% of people in the world will suffer from depression at least once in their lives, often more. Therapists may use what you are saying to try and make you understand how you are feeling but what is said in the room, stays in the room (Unless there is a serious threat to others) Councilling is the best way to start to deal with the problems and once you have started, you wont understand why you were so worried in the first place.

Darren


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how to stop the pain
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 30
   Posted 6/30/2008 3:20 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for all your support.  I don't think talking to someone would help because it all makes no sense--me being sad.  I have a great husband and 3 mostly happy kids.  Finacially we are fine --my husband makes a good salary -has a die busines that makes a little and I am working in my profession  so making ok money.  This all started when my husband told me we might move in 2 years.  I don't mind moving--I moved 4 times in 5 years before we married.  I like exploring new places. What has me freaking is this house.  why did we buy it we talked how we wanted another not this  and on and on and then we went and bought this one and It will never never sell and we will be drained of our savings .  my mom will freadk   I can'rt figure how we got to buying it and not elsewhere.  It has been gret for my kids --they have been able to play with kids in the neighborhood.  I knwo this isn't making sense and that is the problem how do I explain it to a therepist --we definitely no getting this house then suddenly we buy it   I am so made at myself and just keep replaying over and over in my mind conversations etc   I can't do this anymore.  I have spenrt days just lost in thought or here on the compute ---I need a solutionand ther is none we #### when we bought this house.  I just cam't believe we did it --soooo stupid.  I can't be happy if he gets a promotion becasue that would mean moving and this house .  I can't get past it..  If I am not consumed at work This is the only thought in my head III wake up and can't sleep becasue of it .  See I tlakedit out and I know it i irrational but i can't move on  I want to just not be here any more . I don't want to end up making my kids crazy.  

bellski
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 499
   Posted 6/30/2008 6:53 PM (GMT -7)   
If you don't want to talk to a counselor you can always talk to your doctor. Depression is extremely common and so is anxiety. You may want to consider discussing medication. Change is very hard. If you can, try to communicate your feelings to your husband, you are a team and he can help you if you let him. If he knows your feelings on not wanting to move, he may take that into consideration. If you do end up moving you could work something out to spend your vacation times back at the place you are now to keep in touch with old friends. My husband might have to take a job over a thousand miles away, that would mean us living apart at times, and an eventual move, away from all of my family. I do sort of understand that it is hard. I would be leaving a career of teaching that took me years to get into, as I started at age 40. I do know that everything will be O.K. Consider at least discussing this next time you go to your doctor. Take Care, Bellski
Lori (Bellski)-age 43 from Illinois
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ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 7/1/2008 3:59 AM (GMT -7)   
Pain

You really need to go to the doctor and get some help with what is going on.
You are worrying about what is going to happen 2 years from now,and I think you are having major panic attacks.

Everyone's problems are important,it does not matter who you are and what problems you have.

Believe me they will understand.

And since your husband knows that you are going through depression,he is going to be very happy that you are seeking help. That is not only for you,but also for your family.
Shy


Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

Please remember,I am not a professional..I am just a person who is also fighting depression.


I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40590
   Posted 7/1/2008 2:23 PM (GMT -7)   
Shy and the others are right Pain,

It does sound like you are having panic attacks. Try not to worry about things in the future. Life has a way of working out with time. Just try to go with the flow. I think that you will feel a lot better.

Talking to somebody really helps. Even if you don't understand it yourself. I am sure that a counselor would.

Good luck
hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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