I'm divorced and remarried but I have been where you are to a certain degree. For me, I married young at 18 (he was 24) and after 10 years of marriage and three children, I was also in a controlling relationship. He was never physically abusive but he yelled a lot and would punch holes in doors and walls, I guess instead of hitting me is how he rationalized it. Finally at 28, I had had enough and I left, and it took a long time to get through it and it was really difficult for my boys.who were 5 and 7 at the time. My daughter is the most well adjusted since she doesn't remember the chaos, and was barely 3 at the time.
It doesn't sound like it is your fault!! I'm sorry you feel so alone and its hard when you feel you don't have anyone to talk to, I have been where you are..and it does get better. Please do what is best for you and your and your son, and depending on his age counseling is an option for him as well.
Keli, I am so sorry you are having such a difficult time. It doesn't sound like your fault. Keep up with your couseling - it really helps. I went thru a similar situation 25 yrs ago. My ex left me with a 9 mo. old and 5 yr old. We had been married 15 yrs. First and foremost find out as much as you can about his finances so you don't end up in a bad situation. Also, I don't know where you live but no matter where, he owes you at the least child support until your son is 18 yrs. old. If he doesn't hold up this bargain you can have his wages garnished. In my state you can be put in jail for failure to pay child support. I went to couseling and came out of my divorce and have gone on to a pretty good life. My ex remarried and we had some difficult years but we finally said we needed to do the best we could for the sake of our children. Now we get along very well and he has been good to my boys. It is so important to your son that his father remain in his life. Children are resiliant and can handle two households if you both try to make it work. Is it possible for your Mom to stay with you and help out right now? Family support is very beneficial. I wish I could help you more but keep posting and let us know how you are doing. We all care about one another. If you post I will answer and do what I can to support you. Take good care of yourself.
Keli many hugs to u :) Im so sorry u are going through this. Just knoiw God has a plan for your life and even though it may seem dark now your tears will turn into joy. Just keep believing things will get better. You are strong so please hold on