hi new to to the area

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New Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 7/6/2008 6:08 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm terry. feeling low--needing to share. I am 49 and single. I have no children and no significant other.  Feeling lonely. I am a loner.  Sometimes when I am with family. I feel invisible. All my brother and my sister have children or spouse.  Recently I came to the realization that i will never have that unique love that a parent and child experience. I have nieces and nephews, but the love of a child for their parent is a unique experience. The fourth of july holiday is a time for family and friends. I could have stayed at home and did absolutely nothing. I did not want to go to my brother's home, but I felt obligated.  I also realize that the joy of being with my family is slowly slipping away.  well... the joy of doing things is slipping away. I don't know when the feeling went away, but it is gone. So, I don't know if slipping away is the correct saying, it may be gone.  i have always felt sowhat invisible with my family.  My sister and my brothers were local celebraties. Once I met a friend of my father's and he stated that he did not know that my father had another daughter.  i have a eating disorder because I am overweight. I have recently been diagnosed with type 2 diabetis.  I know with diet and exercise, i could lose weight.  So, I have been seeking a place to share. I have not shared my feelings with my physcian or family. I start to cry when i try to talk about it. I remember being happy.  Right now i feel so sad. People are always telling me to smile. I thought that i was fooling people but I am not. There was a time that I was complimented on my smile because i smiled all the time.  It takes an effort to smile. so now i am practicing smiling but my soul is not in it.  I guess that's all for now.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40406
   Posted 7/6/2008 6:29 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Seeking,

And welcome to Healing Well depression forum.

I am 49 and have no children other than through marraige, but I chose to be that way so I can't complain. But I do know that I love my husband's children as if they were my own. And grandchildren are so special.

Life as you know it, is not over. You could still have a family. So don't give up on that just yet.

The smile comes from within. You may practice it, but you have to feel it also to truly be happy.

Are you seeing a counselor or anything. You do need to talk to somebody. Coming here is good but not the same as one on one therapy and we can't give you any medical advice. So if I were you, I would talk to the doctor and see what they would recommend. It is very important that you speak to somebody.

I hope that you start to feel better soon, in the meantime, keep posting, there is a wonderful group of people here who can share their experiences with you.

Good luck,
hugs, Karen...
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 7/6/2008 7:41 PM (GMT -6)   

Hi Seeking,  You have come to a good place on this forum.  Everyone is very helpful and friendly. We often can't give advice if it is medical but maybe can help with family problems.  You probably should see your PCP to find out about therapy - you may be depressed.  I know how hard it is to be lonely as I have suffered from lonliness for a long time.  I am getting better though and make a real effort to get out and do things and keep up with my friends.  I have 2 grown sons so they are a big help.  You may still have a family one day.  Do you know the saying "life is what happens when you are making plans."  I wonder if you are close to any of your nieces or nephews.  Sometimes that can be a very rewarding relationship.  Maybe you can take them on an outing. I also am a volunteer at my local senior center and I get a lot of satifaction from that work and the seniors are so great and appreciative.  Maybe you could take a class in something that interests you. I guess what I am suggesting is try to get better by helping yourself.  Do you have any hobbies?  I know that some days just make one feel nothing will get better but with a little input  you can find things to be happy about. Please keep posting and let everyone here know how you are doing.  I wish you the best and will answer any of your posts.  Try to take good care of yourself.  You are worth it.

Hugs, Aurora

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/7/2008 8:39 AM (GMT -6)   

Hello Seeking,

I am Kitt.  I am so glad you found this wonderful forum.  You will meet many kind and caring people here.

I am going to just toss out a couple of ideas for you...........have you every thought of joining the Big Brothers/Big Sisters program where they match you up with a child that can use the influence of a good role model as well as the attention you obviously would enjoy giving to a child?

Also I know in our state there are programs through the county social services where you take in a child for the weekend, maybe once a month to provide respite care for the parent or the primary care giver to provide the parent with some rest time. Most of these parent's are down on their luck and have no monies for hiring caregivers to come in to their homes.

Now, your weight problem.............many people here have weight issues especially if your on an antidepressant that is known to pack on the pounds. I was born overweight and all my life my Mom gave me a hard time about eating.  She was a size 8.  She would tell the relatives how hard it was to keep me from eating everything in sight.  She would hide the cookies,  I found them.................... cool Well needless to say this was not a self esteem building time for me..................so I know how you feel.

I have been on a diet all my life. 

I hope you do make an appointment to see your PCP and please do not be afraid to talk to your Doc,  they see people cry all the time..........I know this for a fact.

Again a warm welcome.



Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety, Panic & Depression 
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40406
   Posted 7/7/2008 9:07 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Seeking,

Just popping in to say that I hope that you have a wonderful day. You have gotten a lot of good advice here, I think that the main thing is that you start by talking to your doctor.

Like Kitt says, they often see people cry. So don't feel bad about that. I have been through that and so have a lot of others here, I am sure.

So get ahold of your doctor and start getting some help. I am sure that they can help you with medications and seeking therapy.

Keep posting in the meantime, we are here to help as much as we can.

hugs, Karen
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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