What to say to Boss?

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jamie2828
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 7/7/2008 7:07 PM (GMT -7)   
My anxiety/panic & depression has gotten so bad that I can't work. It is the worst at work. I plan to ask my boss for time off. Any suggestions on how to tell him? What will he say?

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40590
   Posted 7/7/2008 7:14 PM (GMT -7)   
I think that the best thing to do is to tell the truth. Let him know that things are becoming overwhelming and that you feel that time off would give you the oportunity to get back to yourself.

Reassure him that you will be better than ever when you come back. Do you have time off coming? Or are you asking for something that you don't think that he will accomodate. I hope that you can take time off and rest so that you can go back to work feeling great.

I don't think that I have welcomed you to HealingWell. So Welcome!

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Aurora60
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Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 7/7/2008 7:27 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Jamie, Do you work for a large company?  If your employer has at least 50 employees you are entitled to 12 weeks of medical leave under the Federal families and medical leave act.  You would need a written letter from your doctor and your boss would have to give you forms to fill out.My son had to do that.  He took a medical leave of absence from his teaching job because of epilepsy.  Are you sure you want to tell your boss what is going on as far as the panic and anxiety?  You might want to consult a therapist and see about getting some anti-anxiety medication to help with the problem. That might be a better choice to start out with as often others do not understand depression and anxiety.  If you have a good job with benefits you may want to consider holding on to it especially if you have medical benefits. And the therapy would probably be covered.  I used to have terrible anxiety and panic attacks and with the right meds I lead a pretty normal life.  You may need to consider how important the job is to you as jobs are hard to come by these days and you don't want to end up losing it if your boss doesn't understand. These are just some suggestions.  Please keep posting on the forum and letting everyone know what you decide to do.  I wish you the best and truly do understand your problem. Be sure to take good care of yourself.

Aurora


jamie2828
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 7/7/2008 8:07 PM (GMT -7)   
I work through an employment agency so I have no benefits. If my boss fires me then I guess I will ask people I know for a loan till I get myself to a point I can work. Hopefully they will help.

Thanks everyone for your support.

Post Edited (jamie2828) : 7/7/2008 9:12:01 PM (GMT-6)


Aurora60
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Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 7/7/2008 8:21 PM (GMT -7)   

Jaime, If you work for an employment agency maybe they can get you another job.  I don't know where you live but should you get fired you can apply for unemployment insurance.  Certainly a medical condition would allow you to have unemployment benefits and they are almost always for 26 weeks. That would give you enough time to get back on your feet. And hopefully you have a friend who could take you to the unemployment office.  I had to file for unemployment once and I did get it.  Fortunately I did find another job.  Do you have any family near you who can give you some emotional support?  I think it is always helpful if you have family you can count on.  If not I hope you have some friends who will be helpful to you.  Again, please keep posting and let us know how you are doing.  It is important for you to know you have a wonderful family of friends here on this forum.  Will keep you in my prayers.

Aurora


ShynSassy
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Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 7/8/2008 4:04 AM (GMT -7)   
Jamie

First thing you need to do is go to a doctor and get a letter from them.

Doing this by yourself without a doctor's letter might screw you up later down the road.

That way, if you do by chance loose your job you can sign up for unemployment benefits.

Good Luck and let us know how it is going.
Shy


Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

Please remember,I am not a professional..I am just a person who is also fighting depression.


I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/8/2008 4:44 AM (GMT -7)   

Jamie,

Shy is right, I too would get a letter from my physician stating that due to medical reasons you need a leave and that way you are protected.

Also it is a responsible thing to do, it shows you are under the care of a physician.  While your getting that letter I would have a good medical exam to see if there is anything else physically going on with you.

You have recieved some good advice from all the members who have posted.

Good Luck and keep posting.

Kitt


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety, Panic & Depression 
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jamie2828
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 7/8/2008 8:48 AM (GMT -7)   
I couldn't tell my boss I need time off, and I can't go to work like this. So, I told him I won't be going to work today since I don't feel good. He said he hopes I can come in tomorrow.
I will be going to a new therapist today, I will tell her how I feel.
The truth is; to all of my therapist I haven't been completely honest on all of my symptoms. I guess I was too embarrassed or too uncomfortable to tell them. But I have reached a point where these symptoms have taken control of me. I made a list of all of my symptoms, on how i feel. This will make it easier for me to tell my new therapist how I feel.

Thanks everyone.

Post Edited (jamie2828) : 7/8/2008 10:56:12 AM (GMT-6)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40590
   Posted 7/8/2008 7:32 PM (GMT -7)   
That is a very smart thing to do. I think at one time or another we all feel the way you have. We don't want to admit how we are feeling because we are embarrassed. But you are doing the wise thing by bringing this up to your therapist. They can guide you through this and hopefully you will be feeling better soon.

Best wishes,
Karen
  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


CRANKY 1
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Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 616
   Posted 7/9/2008 10:43 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Jamie,
 
You said that you work through an employment agency.  Does that mean you work as a contractor?  Is it a temp agency, or do you work for the employment agency itself.  If your employer(the company that signs your paychecks) has a human resources department, I would contact them regarding FMLA(Family Leave Act) and tell them you need time off for personal reasons.  You can get a doctor's note without specifying what your specific condition is...no reason that your employer has to know that it is stress related. 
 
If you go through Human Resources, it is much easier than going directly to your boss, and HR is not supposed to fill in your boss as to why that you need time off, just that you will be gone for a period of time.  If you tell your boss you are stressed out and need time off, he can just fire you if he has a mind to do so.  Most states these days are "at will" employment states.  That means they can fire you "at will" without any grounds at all and there's nothing you can do about it.  Occasionally, people try to sue, but rarely do they win.
 
If you do take the Family Leave, there is still no guarantee that the same job will be waiting for you when you return.  The employer can move someone into your job slot, and stick you somewhere else when you come back.  I'm not sure any of this is helping out, but if at all possible, release as little personal information about yourself as you can get away with.
 
Please let us know what you decide to do.  Good luck.
 
Leigh Ann cool
Basic info:
  • On Disability for: Chronic Migraines, serious Back and Knee problems (will need surgery eventually), moderate Depression, Anxiety/Panic disorder, TMJ 
  • Divorced, 43, no children
  • Surgeries: Gastric Bypass, Gallbladder Removed (followed by a week in the hospital for a Blood Clot), Impacted Kidney Stone Removed, Broken Ankle, Major Dental work(four molars pulled, multiple cavities, root canals) 
  • Current Meds: Prozac, Klonopin, Atenelol, Stadol Nasal Spray, Lortab, Trazadone, Buspar, Nexium, Tramadol, Phenergan, PROHIBITED FROM ALL NSAIDS
  • Current Problem: Internal Bleeding, possible ulcer in location of Gastric Bypass
 
"The weather is here, I wish you were beautiful."
                                             - Jimmy Buffett
 
 


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40590
   Posted 7/10/2008 8:42 AM (GMT -7)   
Leigh Ann,

That sounds like a very good idea. You are right on the spot. I hope that she can do that.

hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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