I too know exactly what you're speaking of.
My favorite author, Chuck Palahniuk, described it perfectly in one of his books called 'Invisible Monsters':
"No matter how careful you are, there's going to be the sense that you missed something, the collapsed feeling under your skin that you didn't experience it all. There's that fallen heart feeling t hat you rushed right through the moments where you should've been paying attention."
It describes my anxiety perfectly because sometimes I will just be sitting there thinking "What am I doing? Where's my life going? Have I messed everything up, is it too late? What if, what if, what if"
I think everyone has these thoughts at one time or another, but it doesn't make it any less disturbing for sure. But I think it's a normal part of life when you don't know what's going to happen tomorrow or in 10 minutes.
Female, 23, Ulcerative colitis (pancolitis) since 1999; GERD; gastritis; osteopenia in femur head & lumbar region of the spine from long term prednisone use.
Currently unmedicated and flaring :(
Waiting for my appointment with the new GI on July 18th. Insurance finally kicked in, hooray!