Teenage girl confused by mixed messages

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New Member

Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 8/4/2008 4:56 AM (GMT -6)   
I am a 16 year old girl, who has just recently gotten over her first true love, it took a year and a bit but I finally managed to pull myself together, and look into the future.
So now I have feelings for a new boy... which can only mean trouble.
He confuses me soooo much, one minute he'll be all friendly and flirty the next he'll just flat out ignore me...
I know I shouldn't waste anymore time on yet another stupid boy but, when hes nice I feel like we could really have something great and I feel at times that he really likes me, and I don't want to let go of an opportunity that could help me even more to completely forget my ex.
This new boy has said things such as "you are beautiful" which I have never been called before....
and "you have really pretty eyes" then the next time has just ignored my messages, or just not spoken to me at all.
I have recently been doing research on Co-Dependant love addiction and I'm very worried that I have symptoms, I'm not saying that I am in love with this new boy but, I find that I crave connections, and can at times become obsessive with anything especially my feelings.
I feel that my mother may have some of these symptoms too, and I don't know wether its just internet tales or wether the addiction is real, also if i am too young to diagnose.
but I am mature for my age, and feel that my feelings and worry are very much interfering with my schooling and work.

I need you guys help.
I know it may sound petty but its bugging the hell out of me!

Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 8/4/2008 5:06 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey Demolition - It doesn't sound petty.

I'm 25 and sometimes I think I feel like you do - like I'm dependant on connections with people to be happy. Sort of. I don't know too much about this co-dependent love addiction, but I think something along these lines is quite common. I don't think you shouldn't worry too much about it, it is normal to need to connect with people, and being in love can be the best (or sometimes the worst) thing in the world. That is just the nature of life.

Try not to obsess to much (easy to say I know!! I am bad for obsessing myself) take your mind of things, try and develop new interests and independance from others - so that you only depend on yourself for your own happiness - if you know what I mean.

I think you shouldn't use this new relationship as an opportunity to forget about your Ex, as you won't really forget about him just by seeing someone else. You need to get over him without complicating things further with a new guy!
"The Optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious of the rose."
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain"

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 8/4/2008 6:32 AM (GMT -6)   

Hi there,

It sounds like a bad choice in terms of people to fall in love with but they do say that "Love is blind". I would run a million miles away from this guy personally but you have to make your own decisions. As for Co-Dependancy love addiction... im really not so sure. More likely, you have just fallen for a bad guy... loads of people do. Always have faith that the right guy is out there though. You will find him, probably when your looking the opposite way.


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Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 8/4/2008 6:36 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Dl

First of all welcome to the forum,we are very glad that you found us.

Teenage boys have no idea how to act with girls. They try to act like they do,but when it is one on one their hormones kick in and they are just as confused as you are.

Don't let this boy treat you like this,if he is not going to respect you enough to treat you the same all of the time,then just walk away from him.

Maybe if you start ignoring him he will turn around.

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Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

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I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.

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Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40405
   Posted 8/4/2008 7:48 AM (GMT -6)   
I think that you have gotten some pretty good advice here. Work on yourself and the right things will fall into place. Try to make yourself happy first and not depend on others to make you happy.

I know that it is hard after a break up. It takes time to get over somebody. So don't let this guy be the first thing that you see. Like Shy said, I bet if you ignore him that he wont treat you badly. Do be so convenient for him. Play a little hard to get. Be careful. Concentrate on your life and schoolwork. You sound very smart so don't blow that off.

Best wishes,
hugs, Karen...
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Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 8/4/2008 9:32 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey Demolition
Welcome to the forum............being a teen is tough and your emotions can be all over the place so please know you are pretty normal. 
I agree this is not the guy for you.  Try to just belong to a group of friends, a group where boys and girls just hang out and everyone is friends.
Go slow and give yourself time, the right person will come along when you least expect it.
If you continue to have issues you may talk to your Mom about seeing your physician.
Keep posting and take care of you.
Gentle Hugs

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