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rista
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 8/5/2008 11:47 PM (GMT -7)   
I am not sure where to start...
I am not happy, I am not moivated, I am so sleepy all the time I feel like my days all run together and never have any reason except to create a reason to eat away my problems, which has also caused another reason for me say help....
My husband is not nice...that is an oversimplification but that is the best discription i have.  He is dammaged by the past and the past is now dammageing our marrage...
He will say the one thing that he can think to say that will hurt me the most the absoulte most...and the next day he will explain it away...oh I was just trying to make us shut-up oh I was trying to HURT you I don't really feel that way I was just trying to HURT YOU!!!! Why is the one person who should care about me the most always trying to HURT ME?  I don't understand what did I do to deserve that Why when I say the only thing I need from you is to hear nice words...honey I love you...you look nice...you smell nice...I care about you....why is the only thing he can say is you really do nothing for me....( he isn't saying I don't cook,clean,do laundry,go to nursing school, and work in the evenings) he is saying you don't turn me on you really do you really do NOTHING FOR ME, and that is just one example in many
I cant tell my whole story I just need some help!

This is Kitt, I edited your post so it was easier to follow. :)

Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 8/6/2008 5:14:25 PM (GMT-6)


nervymeg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 8/6/2008 1:57 AM (GMT -7)   

Rista,

Hi and welcome to HealingWell. I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way, and being treated this way by your husband. When we have depression we need our loved ones boosting us, not dragging us down further. If you feel that his behaviour is truly abusive (kinda sounds that way) then please get outside help, you have an awful lot on your plate, and you deserve love and support not abuse.

It's hard to find ways of coping in these situations, try and be gentle with yourself, treat yourself and your body the way it deserves to be (top notch!). Look after yourself and keep us posted.

Hugs,

Meg


Co-moderator Anxiety/Panic
Panic Attack Survivor
Weekend Warrior Princess
 


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 8/6/2008 4:31 AM (GMT -7)   
Rista

First of all welcome to the forum,we are very glad that you found us.

I really think that both you and your husband need to enter into marriage counseling and soon.
If he will not do that,then you need to get into some type of counseling yourself.

In my opinion (and after enduring it for 13 years) your husband is emotionally abusing you, it might be that you both are doing that to each other,and that is not healthy for either person.
If you have kids,then it makes the situation all the more worse.

You can start with your family doctor,let him know how you are feeling and then see what they say.

Keep us posted.
Shy


Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

Please remember,I am not a professional..I am just a person who is also fighting depression.


I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40565
   Posted 8/6/2008 7:10 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Rista,

I just wanted to say that you have come to a good place. You have also been given some very good advice. Get counseling, you need it to build back up your self esteem. You do not deserve to be talked to this way. It is a form of abuse.

Keep posting and let us know what is going on with you.

hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


rista
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 8/6/2008 3:17 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you for your responsses last night I was in a bad place. I do want to get help but along with our many other issues. FINANCES is a subject of great problem for us. I am a nursing student and I work part time. I know as a nurse I should know how to deal with it all but as they say it is easier to care for others then to truely care for ones self and let me tell you when I am depressed I do not take good care of me. I eat to drown it all...I don't really drink but lately I have been having a drink at night to just calm I HAVE NEVER done that before and I have been for the past couple weeks...I don't want this to be a habit but I feel it forming!!! I want good habits but I am so busy with everything and when I am not busy I just sit and try to decompress and sitting slowly turns to just laying there doing nothing watching TV and eating!!!!!!!!!! it is a gross circle... so to say what I was trying to say from the begining I need help but can't afford help!

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40565
   Posted 8/6/2008 3:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Check with your mental health services. They often have programs for people who can't afford the help.

Plus you have us. We are here for you. We will advise you the best that we can, though we are not professionals and don't have all of the answers. Just our own experiences.

Try not to let the drinking become a habit. Though it does relax you it is also a depressant. Daily use often makes us more depressed. So just be careful.

I hope that you feel better soon.

hugs, Karen...
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 8/6/2008 4:20 PM (GMT -7)   

rista,

Hello and welcome.  I am sorry that your husband is abusive verbally to you and I agree with Shy re counseling.

I am glad you recognize the need to take care of yourself first, now what I would really like to see is for you to follow through on it.  You have to be healthy to deal with mental issues too.

Nursing Students have a lot of stress in their lives with just dealing with the studies and clinicals.  Please seek help with your problems.  We are here to support you.

Here is a crisis hotline you may want to keep handy.

NDMDA Depression Hotline | Support Group. 800-826-3632

Gentle Hugs to you
KItt


 


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
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