Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression& GERD Forums*~*
Good MOrning JD
I am truly happy to know that Healing Well can meet your needs. As the depressed spouse I know I carry a lot of guilt for causing my husband worry and frustration re my own depression.
Most of the time the thing I really need from him is knowing he is here for me and if he would just hold me when I am feeling lost and all alone it works magic.
He gets frustrated with me at times and has said he does not know if he can take this ( my depression) any more and that scares me as without him I don't know where to turn.
Each persons depression is different and I hope your own counseling sessions bring you some peace.
My heart goes out to you and I can feel the pain in your posts.
One of the central defense mechanisms people use to deal with depression is denial. People, understandably, do not like to admit that they are depressed. Others just act depressed and flat out deny that there is anything wrong. Life is too short to live it out with someone who is depressed, in denial and refuses to get help.. While denial is a maladaptive choice for a truly depressed individual, it is an unfair choice for a person with a spouse. Sadly, the problem is a fairly common one. In most cases the non-depressed partner wants to do whatever they can to help.
Another reason that a person should not tolerate living with a depressed partner is that often what appears to be depression can actually be an undiagnosed physical problem such as a thyroid problem or other endocrinological disorder. When a person gets resistance from a depressed partner about getting help for depression, it's often helpful to start a treatment process with a general check up to rule out another medical illness. Most people who might feel it is harsh to insist someone see a psychiatrist, can make their first step by insisting on seeing the family doctor. If there is no medical problem, often the family physician will be a better candidate to recommend psychiatric treatment than the spouse of the depressed person.
I think it's fair to insist he get treatment if he wants to continue being married but this IS an illness. It is a very difficult decision for you and I hope you see a therapist for yourself. I would never tell you what to do but I would also never judge you for making the decision that you feel is best for your own mental health.
Edit: I am sorry I altered your post slightly as we do have members as young as 13 on the forum. I do not think the minor edit has changed your post and the expressions of your feelings. :)
Thank you so much and Welcome to the forum.
Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 8/8/2008 8:14:38 AM (GMT-6)
You go girl, and yes it is Friday so make your week-end a good one for you. You have found a wonderful and caring family here and remember we are open 24/7 so post whenever you want to.
Hugs to you and great advice from all.