When you see your counselor tomorrow please tell him everything that is going on. You need to be honest and upfront as what you write here is really indicating to me that you are going backwards instead of forwards.
Remember we are not the professionals and online here we are your peers. Each of us in the forum has depression or is related to someone with depression. We can only share our experiences but we cannot be a substitute for the one on one counsling you so need.
Depression is an illness and with help you can get better. I believe that to be the truth. Bless you and know we understand where your coming from and what your going through.
One of the major reasons why we fail to find happiness or to create unique lifestyle is because we have not yet mastered the art of being. Instead of painting, try the journaling, take time to do something that will not wear you out physically. Try staying in the moment and leave yesterday in the past. tomorrow will get here soon enough so stay in the moment.
Perhaps if you think about your job, you can identify what it is about it that makes you not like it. Look for something you do like to do. Eat food that you know is good for you even if you don't want to. Set your goals so they are realistic for you.
Blessings to you.