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enWayen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 8/9/2008 9:29 AM (GMT -7)   
Heej everyone,

There are a few thing I feel like writing down. First of all, my apology's for not being around. I still read most of the posts (so in fact I am still around), but I have a hard time writing reply's.
I am, however, still doing "fine", in a way that I am not completely happy or so, but not as sad as I used to be. Instead, I am confused most of the time. Confused what to say, what not, what to do, what not, why something is, why not, etc. The usual stuff I suppose. I think its best for me now to stop making promises whether I will be there or not, since my mood can change from "eager to go" to the total opposite in no-time. Maybe some of you have experience with this kind of confusion, cause I still don't know what to do.

I also started counseling, by chat now, and next month for "real". We have this great government sponsored program that allows to have free counseling by chat. I found it after a bit of googeling, maybe there is something similar in others country's as well.

I have to eat some dinner now, I hope you are all doing great!

Erik
Acceptance is the key

Existential depression and Insecurity

Try to keep smiling! :)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40583
   Posted 8/9/2008 9:52 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Erik,

It is so good to hear from you, and I am happy that you are back. It was nice talking to you in chat also. You are always so supportive.

All I can tell you is what you have advised so many times. Be in the moment. Be aware of your surroundings. And try to find good in each day.

Keep posting, you have always been so kind and compassionate on the forum and have always offered good advice. This too shall pass. You are a special person and I hope that you realize that.

Hugs, Karen...
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


enWayen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 8/9/2008 10:23 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Karen,

Thanks for your reply :). You are one remarkable lady Karen (in the best way possible).

I try to stay present for as often as I can think of it, but I can't help slipping back sometimes (which I don't blame myself for in any way though). But there are certain things that make me think. For instance, tonight there is a party of a friend of mine. Not a really close friend though. Most, if not everyone, would like me to come, but I don't feel like going atm. Now I have this conflict whether I need to put myself in the first place, or just go. And I don't think of it in this dimension only, but also in more philosophical ways. For instance, you are the only one to experience your emotions, and you should be aware of the results of your actions, and choose whatever suits you the best. On the other hand, you are the only one to experience your emotions, so you could put them aside, and try to make it better for the others.

There is always a more "abstract" way of deciding what you are going to do, and things like that can make me think for hours (especially when I try to sleep). And while thinking it is hard to stay present.

But thanks again for the reply Karen, it is funny and weird how things like that can cheer a person up so much :).

Erik

P.S: for those wondering, I think I'll stay home tonight ;)
Acceptance is the key

Existential depression and Insecurity

Try to keep smiling! :)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40583
   Posted 8/9/2008 10:31 AM (GMT -7)   
Erik,

I do the same thing, the other night a girfriend asked me to come over, now I really wanted to, but I kept finding myself doing other things and not leaving. It takes me an hour just to get myself out of the house. I ended up going, but at the same time I was wishing I was home. But she called me a couple days later thanking me for showing up and visiting. All it was, was a few of us girls chatting and having a drink. But it was hard for me to get myself there and I ended up enjoying it in the long run. It did me good to get out, but it was really hard for me. Sometimes I wonder about myself. I tried as you said, to stay in the moment, but I was anxious to leave when I felt it was time. And I was happy to get home. Sometimes I feel like such a stick in the mud. But I guess that is me, I am happy with the simple pleasures of life. I read somewhere recently that being happy with the little things makes you the richest person there is. I guess that means that there can be so much to look forward to. Where people who have everything with hight tastes will run out of pleasures. Something like that. So I can understand how you feel.

Best wishes for a wonderful day.

Luv and hugs, Karen...
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 8/10/2008 5:06 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Erik

So glad that you checked in, and as you know we all understand what you are going through.

I do have a favor,can you jump into "Dark's" post and give her the info to the chat link?

She lives in Africa and does not have the resources as we do to get some help.


Thanks so much,and keep us posted on how you are doing.
Shy


Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

Please remember,I am not a professional..I am just a person who is also fighting depression.


I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.


enWayen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 8/11/2008 6:07 AM (GMT -7)   
Karen, Shy, thanks!

I am doing much better atm :)

Shy, I am happy to give you the link, but the chat will be in Dutch, and I don't think Dark will be able to chat that way. I'll look around to see if I can find something in English.

All the best!
Erik
Acceptance is the key

Existential depression and Insecurity

Try to keep smiling! :)


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 8/11/2008 6:30 PM (GMT -7)   

Erik,

So glad to see you have checked in and that you are doing counseling by chat..........next in person.  I am proud of you and thank you for coming back here to share with us.  We miss you so know we are always here.

Hugs at ya

Kitt


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
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Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 8/12/2008 5:28 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks so much Erik, I hope you keep feeling better.
Shy


Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

Please remember,I am not a professional..I am just a person who is also fighting depression.


I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.

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