You have been a wonderful father, I don't know where you think you don't deserve to be happy. As for the mother of your son, from what you have said, she doesn't even deserve to see him. It doesn't sound like she even cares. She obviously isn't well.
I am sorry about your latest breakup. But I think that it is better that you find out now instead of after a really long time. It would have been that much harder. It sounds like she isn't worth the mental anguish that she has caused you. Neither one of them are.
Keep trying to make a good home for your son. Start working on yourself. September isn't that far off. We are here for you until (and after) you get into counseling. I know that it will help you to cope with all that you have been through.
Have you had your son to the doctor? He might benifit from something for his adhd. Or would you rather not go the drug route? I don't blame you if you feel that way. Sometimes they are too quick to prescribe things. When it can be worked out without meds.
I hope that you can come to realize that you really are a good person and worthy of being happy. Just don't give up, you have come too far.
I hope that this helps some.
Welcome to HealingWell and the Depression Forum. You have found a wonderful place where you will meet many members that know what your going through and where your coming from.
I am so sorry about your failed relationships. Your second one may have been just to soon after the first one. We often reach out for comfort when we have been hurt and think we are doing the right thing. You are not deserving of misery. No one is my friend. Why do bad things happen to good people? I do not know but I am very happy you have come here so please feel comfortable talking to us.
First of all making an appointment to see a counselor was a wise idea. You can develop a one on one relationship with this person and learn skills to help you cope and to get you out of the dark place you are in right now.
I am so happy you have your son. Remember he needs you and he is the one person in the world that loves you unconditionally............what a wonderful feeling that is.
Your life has come apart at the seams and the flood of emotions are very difficult for you to deal with. There are many ways of dealing with the break up of a relationship and the depression that comes along with it. One thing that is very important in these trying times is a good support network. You are talking to us and to your folks, you have your appointment and I hope you have a few close friends.
Do not be afraid to talk as your feelings do need to come out.
One thing that you will have to realize is the fact that the healing process is a time consuming process. You are just starting on this journey so be good to yourself and believe.................believe that there is good in this world and you are entitled to be happy.
Bless you and keep posting.Kitt
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression& GERD Forums*~*
I trhink that the most important thing is to start working on your self esteem. And your depression. Are you seeing anybody at this time for counseling? It is so important to have that sounding board. I hope that you chose to do so soon. Also maybe you need some medications for depression. That would help you a lot I think. So think about seeing your doctor and discussing getting some therapy. A little therapy never hurt anybody.
Good luck with this, Keep posting.
Post Edited (getting by) : 8/11/2008 10:04:19 AM (GMT-6)
Hi Inno, I am sorry you are going thru such a hard time. One thing you mentioned in your post about your ex was that she left you with 11 grand in debt. Are you talking about credit card debt? what ever the debt is. is your name on any of it? If this is debt she incurred without your signature or being on credit cards or home ownership, if you are not on any of these things I would think the debt would only be hers. At least that is the way it is in the US if you are not married to the person. You did not mention if you married her but it sounds like you didn't. I would check into all of this, maybe talk to a lawyer and find out if you are considered a responsible party to this debt. It is worth a try and you may get yourself out of a bad situation. For your sake I hope that is true. Just some suggestions - I hate to see you suffering so. You sound like a really nice, caring person and I wish you the best. Take care of yourself and your son.