pregnant daughter....depressed

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jacenta
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 47
   Posted 8/12/2008 3:22 AM (GMT -7)   
im really worried about my daughter. i should tell you her story from the beginning. shes got married 21/2 years ago to the man she swore she loved. in their first year of marriage he was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. that was a hard blow for both of them since she had a problem with her overactive thyroid. anyway they both managed to finish their masters and work full time. a lot of stress at work especially for her. easter this year they announced to us that they were expecting a baby. it was our happiest day of our lives. but that wasnt to last unfortunately. two months ago she discovered that he was having an affair with a friend of both. since thn our lives is a nightmare. while shes sort of trying to pull the marriage together for the sake of the baby i dont think shes handling it very well. he seems to regret what hes done and hes trying to be supportive of her but one day shes okay the next she crying screaming abusing him and so on. im afraid shes getting depressed and out of control. and what is going to happen when she has the baby? is she going to resent him? im trying as a mother to convince to see a councillor with no success so far. should i make the appointment and somehow drag her there? what do you think? thank you

ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 8/12/2008 5:26 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Jacenta

Oh wow, I would be just as worried as you if that was my daughter.

I am sure she is always going to be upset with her husband,I mean how can you not be?

I think it is a very good idea to try to convince her to see a counselor.,but I think it should be joint counseling as he needs to deal with what he had done.. I don't think you can actually drag her there,but telling her that she should do it for the baby,and then also telling her that you will stand by her and if she ever needs you to call and you will be there.

I hope that they can overcome this. I am sure her heart is broke,and then she will also probably go into the "self blame" game. Where she is worried that she did something wrong to cause it.
What a mess,and I hope he is ashamed of himself.
Shy


Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

Please remember,I am not a professional..I am just a person who is also fighting depression.


I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 8/12/2008 8:51 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Jacenta,

This is Kitt. Wow is right, I am so sorry for your daughter............I am sure she is  blaming herself and thinking she was pregnant and not attractive to her husband and all the "stinkin thinkin" that goes with depression.  I know she must also feel devestated as this was her dream to have a loving husband and then a baby on the way.

As her Mom, I imagine you too are devestated for her and watching her in pain is tearing you up.

Please remember Depression is a illness and she is not just acting out.  She does need professional help.

Sit down with her and let her spill her feelings out to you and please Mom, support your daughter in her feelings as they are legitimate.  Hug her, hold her while she cries.  Then talk with her and beg her to go to therapy.  Maybe if you offer to drive her and sit in the lounge so she knows she is not alone would help.  She has to agree to want to go...............you cannot drag her.

It would not hurt her husband to go to therapy for himself to discover why he would choose to cheat on the one he loves...................something is not right in his mind either.

I don't mean to sound judgemental but my heart goes out to your daughter and I will pray that she will accept help.

You are a great Mom for advocating for your girl.

Hugs

Kitt

 

 


 

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jacenta
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 47
   Posted 8/12/2008 1:35 PM (GMT -7)   
thank you both so much! i will try to talk to her today and try to convince her to ask professional help. this too much for her to deal on her own. and true its tearing me apart watching her hurting so much!

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40587
   Posted 8/12/2008 2:32 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Jacenta,

She is so lucky to have you for her mom. You are looking out for her when she really needs you. I hope that you can get her some help, it is hard to face these things on your own. Keep up the good work.

Hugs, Karen...
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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