Diathesis Stress Model/Reality?

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samoascookies
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 25
   Posted 8/13/2008 9:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello
 
I have been in therapy for nearly 6 months.  I was first diagnosed with depression and later Hypomania (above normal mood) I am avery personable and extroverted person. Hypomanic people are very difficult to diagnos. 
 
 I have had depression for over 16 years but the Hypomania and a "lack of insight" prevented any real help until a crisis [my wife leaving] me.  I have had little luck in resolving issues in therapy on moving on from my estranged wife (she has no interest in reconcilation).  In a very extrodinary emotional moment I had a good friend and roomate of mine remind me of what at the time I thought was a significant trauma, but a managable moment in my life. 
 
The girl I was seeing (16 years ago) at the time left me with no explanation when i was visiting my parents out of state.  When i got back, no girlfriend, no reason, just left.  That moment was apparently a watershed moment. From that time on a very slow but now in hindsight the progression of my depression.  Losing jobs, relationships, and much more over the years.  That girl that I dated for over two years, 16 years ago, found me again 7 years ago, we dated for 5 years and married two years ago. 
 
Diathesis is basicly a (in my case) a predisposition to depression.  The "stress" was apparrantly this moment in time 16 years ago.  My thearpist agrees that this was the "event" (I am astounded but I agree)  and since this discovery my progress on my moving on with my life has been very good.  Here is the issues I find extrodarinary if anyone could posibly have any thoughts please respond. 
 
How could a significant but in the scope of many traumas in my life  Could this be the trigger of my depression.  I would not have pinpointed this moment without the help of my friend of many years, was this the "lack of insight" possibly clouding my recollection? Or was this more siginificant event and why may I may have blocked it out.
 
Why if we got back together, married, and had a fantastic 2 year old my depression did not get better?  In fact my depression deepend!  I understand that the diathesis stress model is a theory but in my case has a high probility of reality.  I find it odd that stress that triggered 16 years by my girlfriend leaving and gathering depressive behavior may have very posibly caused my divorce 16 years later to the same woman that my have triggered it. 
I do understand that anything from death/divorce/financial or any stress can make a diathesis type go into depression. These type people could be triggered by any external stress force.  I am doing well and managing with the proper depression meds i do not need apparently for my hypomania any meds. I am progressing well (now) with moving on with my life.   
 
Fiinally since my estranged wife has no interest in my condition or recovery so far would you bother to tell her this extrodinary story, I have trouble believing it myself!  I am leaning toward not!  I am feeling much better and may be better off. 
 
thanks  
 
 

ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 8/14/2008 8:06 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Samo

I firmly believe in all of that. When I was 12 I was molested,basically after that I was self destructive,doing everything I could to hurt myself and everyone around me. My mom was very abusive and that trigged me into running away. I was married at the young age of 17,had my daughter at 18. I tried my hardest to be a good mom,and stayed in a very abusive marriage for 13 years.
Still going down hill for a very long time.

I am finally on my feet and have been dealing with my depression and what caused it. Alot of hard work,and still struggle everyday.

I believe that in order to heal from depression,you have to have a healthy environment .
That was the first thing my counselor told me,which prompted me into leaving my Ex husband and working hard to get back on my feet.
I would stay away from this woman,until at least you know you are strong enough to be able to deal with her and not go deeper into you depression.
Shy


Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

Please remember,I am not a professional..I am just a person who is also fighting depression.


I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 8/14/2008 12:50 PM (GMT -7)   
Shy is right, you should stay away from her. that relationship would be toxic for you. You have come a long way with a lot of work on your part. Keep up what you are doing.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


samoascookies
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 25
   Posted 8/14/2008 2:23 PM (GMT -7)   

 

My first reaction is to defend my wife, but oddly this is behavior i have seen in others and said "how is that posible"  how can anybody do that!  Huh!....Well..take care of me stay well and only then can i take care of my daughter. Love my wife, she is a wonderful woman in my eyes, but know my EYES ARE WIDE open. Its hard! but its getting better.    


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 8/14/2008 3:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Just remember that we are here for you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


samoascookies
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 25
   Posted 8/16/2008 8:33 AM (GMT -7)   

Hello again

I have been thinking what Shy and Karen have said about abuse.....Abuse!...When I say abuse, not the physical but the mental. A long slow persistant verbal drubbing. Dont get me wrong! I care about her deeply and on some level her issues have manifest into what she does.  But I am understanding that I have really let myself fall prey too challenges and let this depression get worse.  I have had some friends, family (even her family) skirt this issue before and either I poo pooed it or I was a man and that cant happen, not to me!  I know henpecked, but this may be the reasons my depression deepend.  I am not one to believe in repressed feelings but emotionally this string of conversation has awaken even more tears and feelings.  Like my thearpist says your in this room, let it out!  Honestly up until a few weeks ago I had no concept what the thearpist wanted. Its like finding your darn keys that you have been looking for, but in this case it only took me about two decades find.    


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 8/17/2008 7:42 PM (GMT -7)   
Samos

I think that you are on the right track, one thing that my therapist said to me was that in order to get better from depression,I had to change my environment. In my case that meant getting a divorce,then finally just moving to a different town to get away from him.

You have to watch out for yourself,and if someone is taking you down with them,and just making your depression worse, then it is time to move on with them.

You can't force someone to be a better person,and you can force someone to love you as much as you do them.

Just remember that you deserve to be happy,and don't let anything prevent that.
Shy


Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

Please remember,I am not a professional..I am just a person who is also fighting depression.


I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.

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