I'm really sad tonight

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LBJ
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 511
   Posted 8/15/2008 8:10 PM (GMT -7)   
I have 2 friends who have been battling cancer.  One has been fighting it for almost 10 years now.  The other one has been fighting over a year.  She has 2 young children 5 and 3.  She's losing her battle hospice was called in.   I'm just having a really hard time with this. I have not lost any of my friends yet and so this one is really hitting hard.  And her poor kids that have to grow up without their momma.  cry   I want to talk to her but I don't know even know what to say.  I did send her a card a few weeks ago letting her know that I will never forget our friendship and that I love her.  Man..... just really down. 
Living with Crohn's Disease since Jan./2000 but had a few years prior
I'm a true Crohnie with IBS and Arthrities too
 
Meds I have tried:  Too many to list- LOL
Meds currently on:  Prednisone 15mg and stuck
                           Methotrexate injections once a week 25mg
                           Folic Acid 5mg once a week
                           Wellbutrin twice a day
                           Cipro
No Surgeries
 


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40576
   Posted 8/16/2008 9:12 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi LBJ,

Please make sure that you go and see her before it is too late, you will never forgive yourself if you don't. You will always wonder.

I am so sorry to hear this, but life can be so hard at times. There is a reason for everything and I am sure that her children will be well taken care of. But go and see her. You will be so glad that you did.

Luv and hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 8/18/2008 7:42 AM (GMT -7)   
LBJ,
I can understand what you are saying.  I have also gone through the terrible battle of cancer with my sister.  There is nothing more devastating than not being able to be with her everyday.  Every day I wake up I pray that she is ok and that there is some way I can go and spent time with her, I havent got to see her since we went on our cruise and it is killing me.  I had planned on already being with her but of course because of this car situation, I have not.
 
Just know that the pain and anger you sometimes feel when you think about your loved one and what they are going through is felt by others that are going through this horrible disease.
 
We need to all pray for each other and keep everyone in our thoughts.
 
 
" Treat me like an angel and I'll show you heaven."
french_horn_quee
 
TERESA


thirstyforchrist
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 416
   Posted 8/18/2008 8:06 AM (GMT -7)   
LBJ,
I am so sorry to hear this. It is so hard losing someone you love and especially in this way. And do go see her. Karen is right on that one. It doesn't matter what you say, just letting her know that you love her is enough. Just spend some good time with her and let her know that you really care and will do whatever you can for her. It will make her feel better and you too. You wont regret going, you'll only regret not going. Love and prayers coming your way!
Rachel
 " When you feel like you're alone in your sadness, and no one in this whole world cares, and you want to get away from the madness, you just call my name and I'll be there..."   Third Day


TeNNiSd0C09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 8/18/2008 3:17 PM (GMT -7)   
I have been trhough this with family. I was to young to do everything that I could have. Even though I were a teenager, at the time I didnt understand it as much now. But, now I know the importance of it. You should go see her. And it doesnt matter what you say. Say anything that you would like, just going says alot. Do everything you can and let her know that.

I hate it when little kids lose a parent, I feel so bad that they wont get to know them, but everything happens for a reason even if we dont understand it. But, I know her kids will be loved and well taken care of. But, going to see her will make her feel better. My Best Wishes

"Healing is an energy phenomenon. Hope is another word for Healing.
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
"Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."


faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 8/19/2008 6:55 AM (GMT -7)   
SBL~
Welcome to our forum.  The one thing that I can say is this, sometimes the depression hides behind  your actions and feelings.  Always, always stop and rationalize why you are doing or saying things that may to you at that time seem reasonable no matter how harsh the outcome might be.  You will find that the more supportive and attentive those people are to you are the very ones that you find aggitation and grief towards.
 
Counseling for me as been a good thing but you have to really look inside yourself and endure lots of pain and loss to understand that only you can control what happens in your life via actions and words.  Everyone else will either continue to love and support you or become distant and cold.
 
Reaching inside and understanding that you can only control your life.  It will be the toughest things to do.
 
Hope this helps

" Treat me like an angel and I'll show you heaven."
french_horn_quee
 
TERESA


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 8/19/2008 4:24 PM (GMT -7)   
LBJ,
Hello and welcome.  I have lost many friends to cancer and now my sister is riddled with it and in the U of MN hospital in ICU with ovarian cancer.  I am able to be with people that are ill and talk to them or sit quietly beside them so when they open their eyes they see someone who loves them.
 
Just being present and gentle touch is what I do.  I choose to do this as if it were me I would want someone to just hold my hand and of course to tell me they love me.
 
I think you will do fine if you follow your heart in this situation.
Bless you
Kitt
 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
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Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 8/19/2008 6:08 PM (GMT -7)   

Dear LBJ, I am so sorry to hear about your friends.  It is never easy or a good time to lose anyone. I do think the others are right about going to see your friend.  You may not realize it but I am sure she will be so grateful that you came to see her.  Sometimes words are hard to find but many take comfort in just having someone to sit with them and hold their hand.  And in the long run you will be very glad that you went to see her.  Friendships are so important in one's life and I think you will find comfort too by visiting her.

Take very good care of yourself.

Aurora


LBJ
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 511
   Posted 8/20/2008 8:00 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you everyone!! Your kind words mean so much to me. I spoke to my friends husband and she didn't want anyone to see her in her condition. She lost her fight with the cancer yesterday afternoon. I respect her wishes, but at the same time I wish I could have seen her one last time. :-( She isn't suffering anymore but its just so hard. Thanks again!
Living with Crohn's Disease since Jan./2000 but had a few years prior
I'm a true Crohnie with IBS and Arthrities too
 
Meds I have tried:  Too many to list- LOL
Meds currently on:  Prednisone 10mg this week
                           Methotrexate injections once a week 25mg
                           Folic Acid 5mg once a week
                           Wellbutrin twice a day
                           Cipro
No Surgeries
 


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40576
   Posted 8/21/2008 6:15 AM (GMT -7)   
Feel relieved to know that she isn't suffering anymore. I watched my first husband die of lung cancer and it was really tough. Though his suffering was at a minimal most of the time, it was still hard to face the fact that he was gone. I was there at the end and something about the look on his face when he died was relief for me. He was so peaceful at that point.

I am sure that your friend knew that you cared. And like you said, she didn't want anybody to see her in that condition. But I know it is still hard knowing that she is gone now.

Be peaceful with the thought that she is in a much better place now and can look down on you and smile. She wants you to be happy and not sad about her death. So when you think of her, remember the fone memories that you shared together.

I am so sorry for your loss. It is hard, but like I said, she is in a better place and no longer suffering.

Best of wishes to you at this difficult time.

Luv and hugs, Karen...
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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