i feel so empty

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New Member

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 8/28/2008 11:57 PM (GMT -6)   
  I hardly know where to start. I guess I will just start with what is on my mind tonight. I am turning 36 on Sunday.....I feel like I am 101. I am so lonely...I have a full house and I am lonely...have you ever felt that way? I should be happy I have great kids and husband--but I just feel like no one "gets" me. I feel like I talk and no one listens or even cares about what I have on my mind. So many things are bothering me that most of the time I feel like I am in a fog. I wish I had just one friend...one person that understood where I was coming from...People think I have lots of friends..I don't! I am everyone else's friend..you know the one that is always there to help everyone out with what is going wrong in their lives....the shoulder to cry on...the one there to give support and kind words when they are beating themselves up...but when I am the one on the down slope....when I am the one treading water and unable to keep my head above water do you think any of those "friends" are there?? They are to busy...they dont wanna be dragged down---and frankly I dont want to try to explain myself to them--If they were my friends then they would just know that I need some help...without me begging for it.
  I have recieved one Birthday greeting in the mail...it was from the car company thanking me for buying a car from them and telling me happy birthday...No card from mom--grandparents--sister--brother--kids--hubby--they didnt even realize my birthday is Sunday until I said something today about it...How could my life be so insignificant to so many people?? How come they all matter so much to me? Why am I so sensative? I want it all not to matter to me...but it does..I just am so sad and lonely and lost and I am tired of feeling this way. I know I need to be my own support...but that gets old fast...I just want to find myself again--but I have been lost for so long--I dont know where to start.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40406
   Posted 8/29/2008 8:40 AM (GMT -6)   
It looks to me like you found the perfect place to start. People get so wrapped up in their own lives that they don't stop to think about you. I know how that goes, it happens to me too. I was always the one who remembered everybodies birthdays and holidays sending cards or just being there for them. I am a sensitive person too. But be happy for that. You are a good person. Don't beat yourself up for that. And it will all come back to you only it most likely wont be the same people. There will be somebody remembering you that you least expect.

You are in the prime of your life, I loved my thirties. They will become special years for you. You will find yourself during this time. Then come the fourties, the healing years. So you have nothing but good heading your way. Just be patient.

It is a good quality to be sensitive, we do get hurt a little more than others, but in the end you will be glad that you were that way. We feel more than other people do, but we also enjoy more than others. It really is a good quality.

So keep your chin up, be happy for who you are. You are a good person and you will truly be blessed.

Having said that, I hope that you have a wonderful day. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing. I promise that you will have a wonderful life. Get out and enjoy the simple things, not everybody has that quality like you do.

Best wishes for a wonderful day.

Luv and hugs, ...Karen

  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 8/29/2008 5:27 PM (GMT -6)   


I happen to love these 10 assertive rights as they make me feel like I am in control of my feelings and entitled to be me.  I hope they help you understand you are a very important person.

Ten assertive rights of an individual

Assertive Right #1: I have the right to judge my own behavior, thoughts, and emotions and to take the responsibility for their initiation and consequence. The behavior of others may have an impact upon me, but I determine how I choose to react and/or deal with each situation. I alone have the power to judge and modify my thoughts, feelings, and behavior. Others may influence my decision, but the final choice is mine.

Assertive Right #2: I have the right to offer neither reason nor excuse to justify my behavior. I need not rely upon others to judge whether my actions are proper or correct. Others may state disagreement or disapproval, but I have the option to disregard their preferences or to work out a compromise. I may choose to respect their preferences and consequently modify my behavior. What is important is that it is my choice. Others may try to manipulate my behavior and feelings by demanding to know my reasons and by trying to persuade me that I am wrong, but I know that I am the ultimate judge.

Assertive Right #3: I have the right to judge whether I am responsible for finding solutions to others' problems. I am ultimately responsible for my own psychological well-being and happiness. I may feel concern and compassion and good will for others, but I am neither responsible for nor do I have the ability to create mental stability and happiness for others. My actions may have caused others' problems indirectly; however, it is still their responsibility to come to terms with the problems and to learn to cope on their own. If I fail to recognize this assertive right, others may choose to manipulate my thoughts and feelings by placing the blame for their problems on me.

Assertive Right #4: I have the right to change my mind. As a human being, nothing in my life is necessarily constant or rigid. My interests and needs may well change with the passage of time. The possibility of changing my mind is normal, healthy, and conducive to self growth. Others may try to manipulate my choice by asking that I admit error or by stating that I am irresponsible; it is nevertheless unnecessary for me to justify my decision.

Assertive Right #5: I have the right to say, ``I don't know.''

Assertive Right #6: I have the right to make mistakes and be responsible for them. To makemy errors are unforgivable, that I must make amends for my wrongdoing by engaging in proper behavior. If I allow this, my future behavior will be influenced by my past mistakes, and my decisions will be controlled by the opinions of others.

Assertive Right #7: I have the right to be independent of the good will of others before coping with them. It would be unrealistic for me to expect others to approve of all my actions, regardless of their merit. If I were to assume that I required others' goodwill before being able to cope with them effectively, I would leave myself open to manipulation. It is unlikely that I require the goodwill and/or cooperation of others in order to survive. A relationship does not require 100% agreement. It is inevitable that others will be hurt or offended by my behavior at times. I am responsible only to myself, and I can deal with periodic disapproval from others.

Assertive Right #8: I have the right to be illogical in making decisions. I sometimes employ logic as a reasoning process to assist me in making judgments. However, logic cannot predict what will happen in every situation. Logic is not much help in dealing with wants, motivations, and feelings. Logic generally deals with ``black or white,'' ``all or none,'' and ``yes or no'' issues. Logic and reasoning don't always work well when dealing with the gray areas of the human condition.

Assertive Right #9: I have the right to say, ``I don't understand.''

Assertive Right #10: I have the right to say, ``I don't care.'' a mistake is part of the human condition. Others may try to manipulate me, having me believe that

I hope you can start to believe in these rights.  I know the feeling of being alone in a crowded room too.
Bless you

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
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New Member

Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 9/16/2008 1:15 AM (GMT -6)   
I was looking around at some post - seeing if I could find someone who felt like I did. Your post was practically word for word what I would have written. I'm 31 years old. I have two great kids, a great husband. I've suffered from depression for years. My husband told me tonight that he felt empty cause I have a hard time being there for him physically (among other ways). He doesn't seem to understand that I can't give what I don't have. I feel like I lost myself somewhere along the way and now I am just going through the motions - just trying to get by. I don't really have any close friends, not ones that I would feel comfortable talking with about stuff like this. If you ever need to talk ....
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