Struggling with binge eating

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Gabby123
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 113
   Posted 9/3/2008 7:11 PM (GMT -7)   
HI everyone,
 
 
   Does anyone out there struggle with an eating problem and depression?  Im really really fighting so hard lately and just need some encouragement in beating this 5 year war between me and food. 
 
   5 years ago is when I started to get really depressed and I developed anorexia, which later turned into binge eating disorder.  I really am seriously addicted to certain types of foods (mainly sugar) and I try to avoid it as much as I possiblty can, because I really can't handle it, sooner or later I will go beserk and binge if I even have the littlest bit of sugar.  about three years ago I developed a lot of gastrointestinal health problems which have progressively gotten worse along with my depression and my binge eating disorder.  I knew I had to stop and get help for my problem cause I was starting to get really really sick.  I don't know what happened but somehow I got nerve damage in my stomach and esophagus and I developed a motility and swallowing problem which has made it very very hard for me to eat most things like meat, veggies, grains, ect.  I went to the doctor to get help and at the same time was attending therapy for my eating problem.  This was January of last year.  I finally managed to get my binge eating under control and I actually stopped for three months, which was the longest I had ever stopped before in my life.  Unfortunately even though I had my eating under control, my health problems got worse and worse.  I started getting sicker and sicker, naseous, painful swallowing, vomiting, ect.  I just had surgery last week to help fix my esophagus because they found I had a huge hiatal hernia which needed to be repaired.  I have really bad reflux and it comes up almost all day long, everyday, no matter what I eat.  I really thought this surgery would have helped me but It didnt really work out how I thought it would, which added more to my depression. 
    I just really need some support right now.  My binge eating is starting to get out of control again and Im trying to stop it but its so hard, its like it just never leaves.  I am so tired eat putting junk into my body and Ive tried to stay abstinent of it but somehow I always return to eating it again, and then the bingeing starts all over again.  Its like a neverending cycle.  I am currently on a soft foods/liquid diet because of my throat, yet I have really been cheating and eating things I shouldnt.  I get so mad at myself.  I want to stop eating this garbage for good, forever, I want to stay abstinent from it.  I've been to OA and i know the whole drill about stayng away from certain foods.  But why is it so hard for me to stop for good?  I always go back to it.  I really want to stop because it is making my health condition worse.  I just need some support and I thank you for reading this.  Im really struggling right now.  Thank you and any comments are appreciated
 
-Gabbs

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40590
   Posted 9/3/2008 9:25 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Gabbs,

First of all, does it take time for things to get back to normal with the surgery? I just wondered if it takes more than a week to get better.

Try not to do things that make your health conditions worse. We only have one body and we need to take care of it.

I wonder if maybe you should go back to therapy. Really a professional would do better to help you, though we are still here for you no matter what you decide. You always have us to talk to but I think that you need a professional objectiveness also.

I think that addiction to food is like other addictions. We think that we need these things to be okay. But that isn't the case. We are complete without the substance. Though you need food to live for nutrition. You have to learn to eat properly. Too much sugar is not good for you, it can cause you many other problems, one of them being diabetes. But trying to do this on your own is going to be too hard. You really need some help with this. So try to get back in to counseling, and remember that we are here for you too. And don't beat yourself up if you can't just stop. It is going to take some time and some hard work on your part. But like I say, we are here to help you along.

Best wishes to you.
hugs, ...Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/3/2008 9:49 PM (GMT -7)   

Hello Gabby

I am pretty sure we have tallked in the GERD Forum. It is so important right now to pull all the strength you have and stick with foods that won't set off your binging.  Make sure all the products you buy are high in protien but sugar free.  I understand the binge eating.  It is different than other addictions as you must eat to survive.  If you quit smoking or alcohol or other things you would survive but we have to eat and just a few bites of something you love puts you right back to an addiction of the food.

Everthing we do is centered around food, parties, weddings, going out to eat and the Dairy Queen calls my name. 

I agree with Karen, therapy again may be your best choice.  Remember this is not something you chose to have but you can overcome your binging.

WE are here for you.

Kitt


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


sheryl=jk
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2004
Total Posts : 4083
   Posted 9/4/2008 9:14 AM (GMT -7)   
I agree with Karen and Kitt on the counseling. I started becoming bulemic when I was 14 and anorexicat 15 through 19 yrsold, I did see counsling at 17, but i got freaked out becasue the counsler wanted to admit me to a hospital, and since i was on the better half of 17 , I did have a choice and said no. Maybe I shouldnt have dont that. But i still would binge well in to my thirties( i am 39 now) i am no longer bulemic, but i am very overweight. And really having a hard time struggling with that, so i can kinda unsterstand where your at. For me it more of the comfort foods, like stouffers mac and cheese, cassoroles etc. But i will tear up some icecream if someone gives it to me. I try not to buy these things, real hard to do with school age kids. But I ave been buying alot tuna and having that with a couple of crackers, been trying to eat things with  high protien, im having a hard time eliminating carbs, becasue thats all i could eat last year, i was very sick with gastroparisis(paralyzation of the stomach, where my food wasnt not digesting, probably the sam mobility probalem you have, very slow) so against my will i was vomiting everything up, lost alot of weight, then my gastro got me on some good meds and I felt better, and started to eat again, and the weight came back on double so now i am very overweight for my heighth, my gastro wants me on high protien very low carb diet, just meat and vegatables, and I am slowly trying to wean off of carbs.  When i was so sick carbs was all i could eat.
Anyway I do know what your going through, i even have the hiatial hernia, which my gastro doesnt seem worried about, but I am sad .
we are here for you anytime, so please keep posting, we will listen and help the best we can.
Although counsling is also what you need right now too, i hope eting solids is not harming your recovery if your suppose to be eat liquids.
Just remember your not alone and were are here....
 
God Bless,and have a Great Day!!.......Love.....Sheryl
xcema,hypermobile,Chronic Bronchitus,Fatigue,Positive ANAFibro-05--Had surgery on left & right knees 06, Interstial Cystitis-06 Spondlylosis/Disc Degernation Disease severe arthitis lower back -08,implantedInterstim-06 hysterectomy & IBS-06 Arthiritus-04 Depression-04GERDS/ Hiatial hernia -07   Anxiety-07 Gastroparesis-08--Occasional Migraines
 Reglan,Protonix,Prozac,Wellbutrin,Erthomyicin,klonipin,occasional phernergan, loratab, zanaflex  marrried 2 children, 1 with mild autism, Bipolar(9),  Abilify, Buspar, Celexa Son(13) is bipolarw/migraines, Topamax, ZantacGod plz grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference..." Plz help HW to help others by donating: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/


NightWish
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 129
   Posted 9/7/2008 11:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Gabby and all,

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through -- it sounds extremely frustrating. I can relate in the sense that I turn to food when I'm stressed. I like to go to bed early and get lots of sleep, but I find it difficult to go to sleep because I'm so nervous and anxious and nighttime is when I feel the most lonely and when I want to have someone to talk to (like right now). Being up late at night and waking up frequently through the night causes me to turn to food for comfort, even though I know nighttime is the worst time to eat.

My main source of stress right now is that I'm trying to stop talking to my ex boyfriend, who has been a best friend of mine since we were kids and I still feel very close to him today. So close in fact that I think I have developed an unhealthy emotional dependence on him. I want to stop talking to him all together because just when I think I'm over him and can move on, he calls just to talk and I start missing him all over again. He's the one I want to talk to when I'm stressed about school or other things in my life, and I wish there was someone else I could talk to about these things, but it's hard to replace him.

So thanks for reading my post. Maybe we can get through our depression and struggles with eating together.

NW

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40590
   Posted 9/8/2008 8:48 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Nightwish,

Welcome to HealingWell. I think that you will find that this is a nice place to come when you need to vent or just need somebody to talk to.

I understand that you feel it necessary to stop talking to your friend because you care about him so much. But is there anyway that you could still keep in contact and tell yourself that you are just friends? I hate to see you end a relationship because you are afraid of your feelings towards him. It isn't all or nothing, there are many shades of grey in there. So try to tell yourself that he is just a friend, and don't give up on the relationship. Unless it is just too hard for you. Then I guess I would recommend cutting ties. Though I hate to see you do that.

Eating at night is the hardest to lose. and it does interfere with our sleep. Maybe you could get some hard candies that you could put in your mouth at night. That way you might feel the satisfaction of tasting something. Instead of eating. I know that it is hard, especially when you can't sleep. Have you ever tried meditation. That is what helps me the most. I have sleeping pills, but the meditation seems to work better. And you don't get that groggy feeling when you wake up.

I am sure that there will be other posts and ideas for you on this topic. You might want to start a thread of your own. Also, if you want we have an introduction thread you might want to post on.

Best wishes to you,
hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/8/2008 9:59 AM (GMT -7)   

Hello Night Wish,

I am sorry your not in a good place right now.  I know food has always been my comfort too and my Dad used to buy me food if I was feeling bad.
When I got my divorce, my Dad said I just needed a good steak and it would be OK... smilewinkgrin the steak was good but the husband was not so He exited stage left.

Breaking up a relationship is difficult. Grief can be experienced even when an unfulfilling relationship ends, because, at the very least, you have lost the emotional investment you made in that relationship. There may be a sense of failure, hopelessness, loss, despair, fear, or desperation. In many cases, the length of the relationship compounds the pain of loss.

I would like to encourage you to consider counseling to help you through this painful time. One on one counseling can help you understand your feelings as well as teach you skills to cope with your pain.

Welcome to HealingWell, know that we are here and we support you.

Gentle Hugs

Kitt


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


NightWish
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 129
   Posted 9/8/2008 10:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you both very much for your responses. I think keeping my friend as a friend is important too, getting by-- I just need to find how to incorporate him into my life and know at the same time that he is only a part of it. I have tried meditation and know how wonderful it is. I think I just need to get a book of meditations or some new CDs to keep doing it. Are there any you suggest?

I also agree with all the feelings you listed, skitt. I really appreciate you sharing your story and letting me know that you understand those feelings. Interesting how so many people associate food with comfort, isn't it? I think I need to start doing other things are make me feel good and are good for me.

Thanks for the support,

NW

sheryl=jk
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2004
Total Posts : 4083
   Posted 9/9/2008 5:17 AM (GMT -7)   
Before my body turned on me cry , I would work out alot, then my knees couldnt take it anymore or my lower back so it sentme spiraling into a tail spin, about the only exercise i can do is swimming, which is good, just got to make my slef do it, i hate the sun on me, it makes me feel phycically nasuaeted, i like an overcast day.
I used to to food as comfort, but am really trying hard to eat becasue i need to, sometimes think i am not eating enough, its a hard balance.
I hope all can reach are goals, mine is to lose the 65 pounds i put on after losing major weigh becsue i was sick, i have thought about purging and have even tryed but to no aavail, my body will no longer let me do it. So its exercise any way i can get it easy yogaPilates maybe, my sister gonna send me a dvd of pilates. and eating right.
I have to see another orthopedic doc to give me some cortizone shots in my knees, that may help me out with my knees, i know the shots help my back some, so it should help my knees some.
Anyway good luck to everyone..
 
God Bless,and have a Great Day!!.......Love.....Sheryl
xcema,hypermobile,Chronic Bronchitus,Fatigue,Positive ANAFibro-05--Had surgery on left & right knees 06, Interstial Cystitis-06 Spondlylosis/Disc Degernation Disease severe arthitis lower back -08,implantedInterstim-06 hysterectomy & IBS-06 Arthiritus-04 Depression-04GERDS/ Hiatial hernia -07   Anxiety-07 Gastroparesis-08--Occasional Migraines
 Reglan,Protonix,Prozac,Wellbutrin,Erthomyicin,klonipin,occasional phernergan, loratab, zanaflex  marrried 2 children, 1 with mild autism, Bipolar(9),  Abilify, Buspar, Celexa Son(13) is bipolarw/migraines, Topamax, ZantacGod plz grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference..." Plz help HW to help others by donating: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40590
   Posted 9/9/2008 7:11 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Nightwish,

I had learned the meditation through a book called the New Mood Therapy by Dr. David D. Burns. It was the first edition. They have a new one out, but it is harder for me to read. Basically it is relaxing all muscles from head to toe. But if I were you I would do a search on meditation books. But they say that even practicing meditation, you are doing it. So don't give up. It is so refreshing to the soul.

Best wishes for a wonderful day my friend.

hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/9/2008 4:53 PM (GMT -7)   

Nightwish,

Hello there :)  Here is my recipe for meditation.

Choose a quiet spot where you will not be disturbed by other people or by the telephone.

Sit quietly in a comfortable position.

Eliminate distractions and interruptions during the period you'll be meditating.

Commit yourself to a specific length of time and try to stick to it.

Pick a focus word or short phrase that's firmly rooted in your personal belief system. A non-religious person might choose a neutral word like one, peace, or love. Others might use the opening words of a favorite prayer from their religion such as 'Hail Mary full of Grace', "I surrender all to you", "Hallelujah", "Om", etc.

Close your eyes. This makes it easy to concentrate.

Relax your muscles sequentially from head to feet. This helps to break the connection between stressful thoughts and a tense body.

Starting with your forehead, become aware of tension as you breathe in. Let go of any obvious tension as you breathe out. Go through the rest of your body in this way, proceeding down through your eyes, jaws, neck, shoulders, arms, hands, chest, upper back, middle back and midriff, lower back, belly, pelvis, buttocks, thighs, calves, and feet.

Breathe slowly and naturally, repeating your focus word or phrase silently as you exhale.

Assume a passive attitude. Don't worry about how well you're doing. When other thoughts come to mind, simply say, "Oh, well," and gently return to the repetition.

Continue for 10 to 20 minutes. You may open your eyes to check the time, but do not use an alarm.

After you finish: Sit quietly for a minute or so, at first with your eyes closed and later with your eyes open. Do not stand for one or two minutes.

Plan for a session once or twice a day.

Good luck and keep us posted on how you are doing.

Gentle Hugs
Kitt


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


NightWish
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 129
   Posted 9/9/2008 8:52 PM (GMT -7)   
I will try that tonight Kitt, thank you. Do you recommend meditating before/after a particular part of the day? For instance, right before bed, before or after work, before dinner, etc.?

sheryl=jk
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2004
Total Posts : 4083
   Posted 9/10/2008 5:50 AM (GMT -7)   
For me that quiet time is when I hit my pillow, I pray and I feel the tension leaving me so I can sleep. It has helped me. Sometimes a little yoga type exercises before bed as well helps put the body in a nuetral state. I prefer my time before sleeping, it maybe other times for others that helps them best.  I printed out a real easy yoga exercises from the fibro forum, and its peaceful and easy to do, nothing thats gonna leave you out of breath; thats cardio, you want that in the morning to get you going. Which exercise is a great stress reliever too. ( I just wish I could more of it like I used too, I miss how much it really did help, and great for your self esteem too).
Im sure others will offer you some suggestions of where and how they meditate too... wink ...
 
God Bless,and have a Great Day!!.......Love.....Sheryl
xcema,hypermobile,Chronic Bronchitus,Fatigue,Positive ANAFibro-05--Had surgery on left & right knees 06, Interstial Cystitis-06 Spondlylosis/Disc Degernation Disease severe arthitis lower back -08,implantedInterstim-06 hysterectomy & IBS-06 Arthiritus-04 Depression-04GERDS/ Hiatial hernia -07   Anxiety-07 Gastroparesis-08--Occasional Migraines
 Plz help HW to help others by donating: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/10/2008 8:04 AM (GMT -7)   

Hey there,

The info I have suggests first thing in the morning but I believe what ever time of day you pick is fine for meditation.

A time when there is little distraction going on may work best.

I wish you luck with the meditation and I am so happy that you have joined us.

Gentle Hugs

Kitt


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40590
   Posted 9/10/2008 9:33 AM (GMT -7)   
Any time of day is good for meditation. Mornings are nice, it clears your head for the rest of the day. But if I can't sleep at night, I meditate while laying down. It really helps. I am usually asleep before I finish relaxing my muscles.

Good luck to you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


NightWish
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 129
   Posted 9/11/2008 8:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks, ladies! What a blessing it is to have found this forum. I've realized already that if I can learn how to relax, not stress about my problems, and get to sleep, I would be much more able to handle my emotions and stop turning to food for comfort. I guess my goal really is to be more "at peace"...not expecting that my life will be free of obstacles, but that I will not get all bent out of shape when they do come my way. :-)

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40590
   Posted 9/12/2008 1:03 PM (GMT -7)   
I know that it is hard, it is hard for me lately too. And I had gotten to the point where I was not worrying about things. So I have to practice what I preach I guess. Wish me luck.

Thanks,

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


NightWish
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 129
   Posted 9/12/2008 8:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Karen -- Something that I'm trying to repeat in my head in the phrase, "All is calm...all is well...all is for the highest good." Maybe that will help you the worries to subside and now that things will happen as they should?

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40590
   Posted 9/13/2008 5:20 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you Nightwish,

I am feeling better, not worrying, but it wants to keep sneaking up on me. I will repeat your phrase, all is calm, all is well, all is for the highest good.

It feels good to know that somebody cares. And I thank you. I will keep plugging along. Like I say I feel better now. You are a wonderful person.

Hugs, Karen...
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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