I'll look into the books, but my family will totally make fun of me for it...I did try to read one of Eckhart Tolle's other books, but it seemed way too philosophical and it couldn't hold my attention!
Thanks for offering to listen to me. I just feel bad taking up space since my problems aren't too serious and my thoughts just come and go. It's just that a lot of things cross my mind all the time, and emotions vary by the hour.
I know I would be so much happier if I didn't care about what others thought, but I don't know how to get rid of it!
Post Edited (ComedyDork) : 12/4/2008 5:52:55 PM (GMT-7)
First of all don't call yourself a dork because you are not quirky, silly and/or stupid, socially inept person, or one who is out of touch with contemporary ...
You are a person that has anxiety and that is a real disorder. Everyone here has experienced it to the point it has affected them in some way.
CBT therapy is a wonderful form of therapy that can help you if your willing to do the work. It is online and is free.
the MoodGym: http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome
I am sorry for the way your family and other have treated you especially your family. No wonder your self esteem is down.
Self confidence usually is based on how well or not so well we've done in previous situations. It is how we feel about ourselves. Our self worth is based upon our previous performance . We all tend to base our own personal values on how successfully we perform in different situations and we often want a perfect performance of ourselves. If we don't live up to our perfect standards, we end up lowering our opinions of ourselves.
We can learn to value ourselves in spite of feeling anxious. . . As adults we often believe we must continually justify our place in the world, that we have to somehow prove to other people that we are , extremely self confident and worthy of their esteem . We will spend excessive amounts of time feeling anxious and afraid that we won’t meet other people expectation and we lose sight of the basic fact that we are usually all right just as we are, in spite of the fact that we are not perfect.
Temporary fluctuations in our self confidence are common, they happen to most of us. Try self talk, tell yourself you are fine.
Keep posting here and you will find lots of support. Welcome to HealingWell.
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression& GERD Forums*~*
Actually, it would be ComedyGirl or Woman I don't mind calling myself a dork--I kinda see it as a positive thing, as in I'm not changing myself to fit in with the 'norm'. It's just that most people don't consider it okay and I can't find people like myself.
Do you have to give out any personal information for that website? If not, I'll definitely look at it.
Thanks for all the input!
Post Edited (ComedyDork) : 12/4/2008 5:53:17 PM (GMT-7)
Ok we can stick with that name but do not put yourself down. You are a good person.
I would stick to my preference re what your goal is for college. Explain to your family in a calm, none threatening way that at this time your prefer to be the captain of your own ship. Tell them you appreciate their input but you are looking ahead at where your life is headed.
If they start to throw an uproar then do not take the bait. Tell them you cannot carry on a conversation with them as long as they are so upset. Then say excuse me, I am going outside and we can continue this talk when everyone has had a chance to discuss it calming.
Do not be a whipping horse. I am proud of you for advocating for you. You are strong and brave.
I forgot.........as far as MoodGym I cannot remember what info they ask for but it is not much. No personal street address or where you live or you name.
Post Edited (ComedyDork) : 12/4/2008 5:54:33 PM (GMT-7)
I like the part of having a dream or a goal but remember that all dreams do not come true it is the goals that you have control over. Set your goals and work toward them.
As far as meeting someone, truly it just happens when you least expect it to. I have a friend that tried so hard to find a man she made the men she dated run away. So just be you and do not look at the men you date as your soulmate, you will know when it is the right one.
Sometimes it is patience we need to practice. And please live life to the fullest right now..............stay in the moment.
Hi, Julie. Thanks for the advice! I know I'm only responsible for myself, but it's so hard when others are judgmental and I always feel like I need to defend myself even though my life is no one else's business. And it's even harder when my parents don't understand. But I'll look into "The Artist's Way" as well (maybe it'll get me to start writing for fun again).
As for "The Secret" I'm only half-way through, but it seems to take positive psychology too far. It tells me to imagine something I want and that it'll come; I don't have to worry about how--The Universe will take care of it. Well, that means if I want to be rich, then I just imagine it and it will come to me? Yeah, right. Maybe the work to get there is just something we infer, but "The Secret" can be taken the wrong way in my opinion.
In other news, I'm getting really stressed out over a career path. My parents keep bugging me to choose something, and w/e I suggest that I think will work well w/ my ulcerative colitis, my parents shoot it down. And they're not willing to meet me in the middle. I'm so confused. It's really hard to live in the moment when my health is so unstable and I need to worry about medical bills for the rest of my life!
I am posting your rights to be assertive.
Ten assertive rights of an individual
Assertive Right #1: I have the right to judge my own behavior, thoughts, and emotions and to take the responsibility for their initiation and consequence.
Assertive Right #2: I have the right to offer neither reason nor excuse to justify my behavior.
Assertive Right #3: I have the right to judge whether I am responsible for finding solutions to others' problems.
Assertive Right #4: I have the right to change my mind.
Assertive Right #5:
Assertive Right #6:
Assertive Right #7: I have the right to be independent of the good will of others before coping with them.
Assertive Right #8: I have the right to be illogical in making decisions.
Assertive Right #9: I have the right to say, ``I don't understand.''
Assertive Right #10: I have the right to say, ``I don't care.'
I hope these help you when dealing with your parents.
I've been looking for your postings to see how your doing w/ your UC, have you decided on the surgery? I'm off the steroids as of today, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed (and visiting the bathroom many more times if I don't eat right!)
I'm sorry to read about your depression, I wanted to share w/ you my experience with that as well. I too had a very unsupportive family and felt as though there was something wrong w/ me. I was so bad I was literally unable to function I almost lost my job I couldn't even read because my mind was playing tricks on me hard to describe but it was very AWFUL. The WORSST possible times of my life. Then I decided it was time to seek some help. My insurance covered some of it, and I paid the rest but it was WORTH EVER PENNY! It really changed my life, I know I wouldn't be where I'm at today if I didn't get the help I got, I spent 13 yrs. total w/ my therapist (I know it sounds overwhelming) but I was functioning at a much higher level after the 1st year. I decide to go on for a longer time because I saw the value in it.
See if there are any hospitals by you that will accept what your able to pay, I know there's some by me. My therapist told me to try to do self-therapy on yourself is like doing surgery on your self, doesn't really work, sorry to be negative about it but I remember her saying that.
Good luck to you, hope your feeling better soon.
Post Edited (ComedyDork) : 12/4/2008 5:55:22 PM (GMT-7)