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bookworm21
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Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 1766
   Posted 9/8/2008 4:57 PM (GMT -7)   
So, I'm doing okay, as in I have a few really bad days but I'm fine all the other times. But my past haunts me way more than it should and my family still doesn't have extra money to send me to a therapist.
 
What should I do for self-therapy? I've come up w/ writing down memories that bother me, but what else? I know people always say "you'll be happier if you don't care what others think" and I believe that, but I just don't know how to not care.
 
I've taken the semester off from college due to my ulcerative colitis, and I'd like to go back better physically AND mentally. Any ideas would be appreciated. :-)

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40575
   Posted 9/8/2008 5:06 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi ComedyDork,

What about reading some self help books. There is one called Healing the child within. By Charles L. Whitfield, M.D. It is a really good book. Also The New Mood Therapy by Dr. David D. Burns.

I think that would be a good route to go if you can't get therapy. Also coming here I think would help.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


sheryl=jk
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2004
Total Posts : 4083
   Posted 9/9/2008 5:25 AM (GMT -7)   
i agree with KAren, coming here is a good source of therapy, you can let out here, what you might be able to else where, and not be judged, just having someplace to ventand come for advice is a good source of therapy. Also Karen had mentioned a book, sounds like a good one, i may check out my local library and see if I can check it out.  I cant afford therapy either, barely even my meds.
So coming here is a good release and if I can help someone along the way thats even better. I like this community we got here, we listen we vent, we help, we ask for help.  There is a good group of people here...
 
God Bless,and have a Great Day!!.......Love.....Sheryl
xcema,hypermobile,Chronic Bronchitus,Fatigue,Positive ANAFibro-05--Had surgery on left & right knees 06, Interstial Cystitis-06 Spondlylosis/Disc Degernation Disease severe arthitis lower back -08,implantedInterstim-06 hysterectomy & IBS-06 Arthiritus-04 Depression-04GERDS/ Hiatial hernia -07   Anxiety-07 Gastroparesis-08--Occasional Migraines
 Reglan,Protonix,Prozac,Wellbutrin,Erthomyicin,klonipin,occasional phernergan, loratab, zanaflex  marrried 2 children, 1 with mild autism, Bipolar(9),  Abilify, Buspar, Celexa Son(13) is bipolarw/migraines, Topamax, ZantacGod plz grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference..." Plz help HW to help others by donating: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/


enWayen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 9/9/2008 8:28 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi there Comedy!

The one thing I learned about self-therapy is that it will work when you put the time, effort, and believe in it that it requires. Some read all selfhelp books they can find, but only to read them as books. Once you really believe in it, do the exercises some have, think about it, than it can have the desired effect.

And I want to add that I read two books, which both helped me. There called The Power of Now (Eckhart Tolle) and The Emotional Healing Strategy (Gael Lindenfield I believe).

One last thing though, if you ever want to discuss about those books (or others), I would love to participate :)

All the best!
Erik
Acceptance is the key

Existential depression and Insecurity

Try to keep smiling! :)


bookworm21
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 1766
   Posted 9/9/2008 12:18 PM (GMT -7)   

I'll look into the books, but my family will totally make fun of me for it...I did try to read one of Eckhart Tolle's other books, but it seemed way too philosophical and it couldn't hold my attention!

Thanks for offering to listen to me. I just feel bad taking up space since my problems aren't too serious and my thoughts just come and go. It's just that a lot of things cross my mind all the time, and emotions vary by the hour.

I know I would be so much happier if I didn't care about what others thought, but I don't know how to get rid of it!

 


Post Edited (ComedyDork) : 12/4/2008 5:52:55 PM (GMT-7)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40575
   Posted 9/9/2008 12:59 PM (GMT -7)   
You do that by learning to love yourself. You just have low self esteme is all. That can be changed. I see nothing wrong with watching CNN on a Saturday night. But I have done the party scene and I out grew it. That does become old fast. You just have other interests and that is okay. That is who you are. Once you accept that, things will become easier.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


bookworm21
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 1766
   Posted 9/9/2008 3:17 PM (GMT -7)   
Yeah, I know I have self-esteem and insecurity issues, which have played a significant part in my depression. I just don't know how to fix it. I wish there was some sort of instruction manual for it.

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/9/2008 4:10 PM (GMT -7)   

Comedyman,

First of all don't call yourself a dork because you are not quirky, silly and/or stupid, socially inept person, or one who is out of touch with contemporary ...

You are a person that has anxiety and that is a real disorder. Everyone here has experienced it to the point it has affected them in some way.

CBT therapy is a wonderful form of therapy that can help you if your willing to do the work.  It is online and is free.

the MoodGym:  http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

I am sorry for the way your family and other have treated you especially your family.  No wonder your self esteem is down.

Self confidence usually is based on how well or not so well we've done in previous situations. It is how we feel about ourselves. Our self worth is based upon our previous performance . We all tend to base our own personal values on how successfully we perform in different situations and we often want a perfect performance of ourselves. If we don't live up to our perfect standards, we end up lowering our opinions of ourselves.

We can learn to value ourselves in spite of feeling anxious. . . As adults we often believe we must continually justify our place in the world, that we have to somehow prove to other people that we are , extremely self confident and worthy of their esteem . We will spend excessive amounts of time feeling anxious and afraid that we won’t meet other people expectation and we lose sight of the basic fact that we are usually all right just as we are, in spite of the fact that we are not perfect.

Temporary fluctuations in our self confidence are common, they happen to most of us. Try self talk, tell yourself you are fine.

Keep posting here and you will find lots of support.  Welcome to HealingWell.

Sincerely

Kitt


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


bookworm21
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 1766
   Posted 9/9/2008 5:46 PM (GMT -7)   

Actually, it would be ComedyGirl or Woman turn I don't mind calling myself a dork--I kinda see it as a positive thing, as in I'm not changing myself to fit in with the 'norm'. It's just that most people don't consider it okay and I can't find people like myself.

Do you have to give out any personal information for that website? If not, I'll definitely look at it.

Thanks for all the input!

Post Edited (ComedyDork) : 12/4/2008 5:53:17 PM (GMT-7)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40575
   Posted 9/9/2008 6:21 PM (GMT -7)   
I am sure that you will meet others like yourself. It just takes time, there are probably a whole lot of people like you and you just don't know it. There is nothing wrong with being an intelligent woman. And kudos for you for doing your own thing. You are a lot stronger than you think.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/10/2008 8:24 AM (GMT -7)   

Comedydork,

Ok we can stick with that name but do not put yourself down.  yeah You are a good person.

I would stick to my preference re what your goal is for college.  Explain to your family in a calm, none threatening way that at this time your prefer to be the captain of your own ship.  Tell them you appreciate their input but you are looking ahead at where your life is headed.

If they start to throw an uproar then do not take the bait.  Tell them you cannot carry on a conversation with them as long as they are so upset. Then say excuse me, I am going outside and we can continue this talk when everyone has had a chance to discuss it calming.

Do not be a whipping horse.  I am proud of you for advocating for you. You are strong and brave.

I forgot.........as far as MoodGym I cannot remember what info they ask for but it is not much.  No personal street address or where you live or you name.

Gentle Hugs
Kitt



 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


sheryl=jk
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2004
Total Posts : 4083
   Posted 9/10/2008 9:05 AM (GMT -7)   
You got to pick out whats right for you and that you can do, as Kitt said, gonna have to get the parents to be calm(i know probably easier said then done). I have IC which casues me to use the bathroom frequently and severly, its an irrated and swollen bladder, so i know you have to find a job that can work with you.
You will make something of your life, you remember that. We are here to listen and vent to all you want...
 
God Bless,and have a Great Day!!.......Love.....Sheryl
xcema,hypermobile,Chronic Bronchitus,Fatigue,Positive ANAFibro-05--Had surgery on left & right knees 06, Interstial Cystitis-06 Spondlylosis/Disc Degernation Disease severe arthitis lower back -08,implantedInterstim-06 hysterectomy & IBS-06 Arthiritus-04 Depression-04GERDS/ Hiatial hernia -07   Anxiety-07 Gastroparesis-08--Occasional Migraines
 Plz help HW to help others by donating: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40575
   Posted 9/10/2008 10:20 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi CD,

I just wanted to reinforce what others have said. This is your life, so you should be able to choose what it is that you feel comfortable with doing.

I hope that you are haveing a wonderful day.

hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


bookworm21
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 1766
   Posted 9/16/2008 4:07 PM (GMT -7)   
Has anyone read "The Secret"? I've started to and it basically talks about positive psychology and how people get what they want by thinking about it b/c "like attracts like," people who are rich are rich b/c they thought about wealth, etc. I'm a bit skeptical about it. Yeah, being optimistic is a good thing but I don't think "The Secret" works.
How far are you supposed to take positive psychology? Say you imagine something you want for a long time, and never receive it--how are you supposed to get over that?

Post Edited (ComedyDork) : 12/4/2008 5:54:33 PM (GMT-7)


enWayen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 9/17/2008 10:41 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi CD,

I haven't read "the Secret", but I have thought about things like that. I do believe that you can get most things that haven't got a physical or mental barrier (like a 5-foot guy while never be able to dunk with basketball, no matter how bad he wants to). The problem is, you have to live for it. You have to want it so badly that everything else doesn't matter that much, and you have to actively be involved in pursuing that dream. If you really want that soulmate, you have to be actively involved in finding one, they don't fall from the sky or anything. But if your entire life is about finding that soulmate, I think you will succeed. But a soulmate is a lot harder to find than having $1.000.000 on your bank, since it involves other people.

And how to get over it, well, I used to have something similar. I always wanted a gf, but I think that "need" backfired. Because there were girls that liked me and who I liked, but I would back away before I was sure. Just in fear of losing that little connection we had. They (the girls) thought I didn't like them, because I couldn't talk to them anymore because of the fear. In the end, it got so bad I had to tell them, and multiple times I got the answer I wrote earlier. At the moment, I still haven't got a gf (my soulmate), but what helped me was to just stop worrying about by living in the moment. For the next time, I will try my best not to have any expectations, just go with the flow, do what I think is best, and see what happens. That way it won't hurt (or not nearly as much as it used to be). It easier said than done though, but practise makes perfect :).

I could talk about things like this for hours and days, but I think it's better to stop here. If you have any questions, remarks or anything, feel free to let me know :)

All the best!
Erik
Acceptance is the key

Existential depression and Insecurity

Try to keep smiling! :)


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/17/2008 11:13 AM (GMT -7)   

Hello CD,

I like the part of having a dream or a goal but remember that all dreams do not come true it is the goals that you have control over.  Set your goals and work toward them. 

As far as meeting someone, truly it just happens when you least expect it to. I have a friend that tried so hard to find a man she made the men she dated run away.  So just be you and do not look at the men you date as your soulmate, you will know when it is the right one.

Sometimes it is patience we need to practice.  And please live life to the fullest right now..............stay in the moment.

Hugs

Kitt


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 85
   Posted 9/17/2008 7:29 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi ComedyDork!

:O) <-------------- I'm a 48 year old dork myself and very proud of it! It's who I am and I like it!

It took me yeeeeeeeeeeears to figure out how to let other peoples' thoughts or my perception of their thoughts about me go. It takes just a little work is all. First, you are responsible for your own feelings and reactions to other peoples' words, tones, body language, etc. Second, other people are responsible for their own feelings and reactions to your words, tones, body language, etc.

Bottom line: You are not responsible for other peoples' feelings and thoughts OR being their entertainer or anything else (I added the "entertainer" part because I've always felt, as a fellow dork, that it was my duty to be other peoples' source of humor and entertainment). You are only responsible for yourself (unless you have kids or animals). It goes deeper than this, but I'm trying to make it simple and short. Sometimes I begin to get upset or worried, etc. about something someone says or does -- but I remember that what that person says or does, does not "make" me feel anything -- "I" make myself feel what I feel, and I react based on those feelings that I created. So I just observe what I'm feeling, see how I'm feeling/reacting to the situation, ask myself why I am feeling/reacting the way I am, and can usually figure out why I'm reacting and feeling the way I am.

I hope this made some sort of sense! :o)

Julie

Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 85
   Posted 9/17/2008 7:32 PM (GMT -7)   
Oops! And for self-therapy, write 10 things you're grateful for every single morning, no matter how small the thing is. It can be that you have clean clothes,
or a puffy-cloud day, anything. THAT is awesome therapy. There's a book called "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron that helped me a lot, it's for blocked
artists (of any type, for me it was percussion, poetry and dance), but there was a "task" in there where every day you write 3 pages FIRST thing in the morning
of whatever comes into your head, whether it makes sense or not - just write it all down as it's pouring into your head. That helps dust out the wandering
thoughts that sometimes start in the morning.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40575
   Posted 9/17/2008 9:01 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Julie,

I like the way that you have explained that. It is something that I know, but can never explain it right. I think that you have given some very good advice.

Best wishes for a wonderful night/day (whenever you read this).

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


bookworm21
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 1766
   Posted 9/18/2008 8:01 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi, Julie. Thanks for the advice! I know I'm only responsible for myself, but it's so hard when others are judgmental and I always feel like I need to defend myself even though my life is no one else's business. And it's even harder when my parents don't understand. But I'll look into "The Artist's Way" as well (maybe it'll get me to start writing for fun again).

As for "The Secret" I'm only half-way through, but it seems to take positive psychology too far. It tells me to imagine something I want and that it'll come; I don't have to worry about how--The Universe will take care of it. Well, that means if I want to be rich, then I just imagine it and it will come to me? Yeah, right. Maybe the work to get there is just something we infer, but "The Secret" can be taken the wrong way in my opinion.

In other news, I'm getting really stressed out over a career path. My parents keep bugging me to choose something, and w/e I suggest that I think will work well w/ my ulcerative colitis, my parents shoot it down. And they're not willing to meet me in the middle. I'm so confused. It's really hard to live in the moment when my health is so unstable and I need to worry about medical bills for the rest of my life!


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/18/2008 9:38 AM (GMT -7)   

((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))

I am posting your rights to be assertive. idea

Ten assertive rights of an individual

Assertive Right #1: I have the right to judge my own behavior, thoughts, and emotions and to take the responsibility for their initiation and consequence. The behavior of others may have an impact upon me, but I determine how I choose to react and/or deal with each situation. I alone have the power to judge and modify my thoughts, feelings, and behavior. Others may influence my decision, but the final choice is mine.

Assertive Right #2: I have the right to offer neither reason nor excuse to justify my behavior. I need not rely upon others to judge whether my actions are proper or correct. Others may state disagreement or disapproval, but I have the option to disregard their preferences or to work out a compromise. I may choose to respect their preferences and consequently modify my behavior. What is important is that it is my choice. Others may try to manipulate my behavior and feelings by demanding to know my reasons and by trying to persuade me that I am wrong, but I know that I am the ultimate judge.

Assertive Right #3: I have the right to judge whether I am responsible for finding solutions to others' problems. I am ultimately responsible for my own psychological well-being and happiness. I may feel concern and compassion and good will for others, but I am neither responsible for nor do I have the ability to create mental stability and happiness for others. My actions may have caused others' problems indirectly; however, it is still their responsibility to come to terms with the problems and to learn to cope on their own. If I fail to recognize this assertive right, others may choose to manipulate my thoughts and feelings by placing the blame for their problems on me.

Assertive Right #4: I have the right to change my mind. As a human being, nothing in my life is necessarily constant or rigid. My interests and needs may well change with the passage of time. The possibility of changing my mind is normal, healthy, and conducive to self growth. Others may try to manipulate my choice by asking that I admit error or by stating that I am irresponsible; it is nevertheless unnecessary for me to justify my decision.

Assertive Right #5: I have the right to say, ``I don't know.''

Assertive Right #6: I have the right to make mistakes and be responsible for them. To makemy errors are unforgivable, that I must make amends for my wrongdoing by engaging in proper behavior. If I allow this, my future behavior will be influenced by my past mistakes, and my decisions will be controlled by the opinions of others.

Assertive Right #7: I have the right to be independent of the good will of others before coping with them. It would be unrealistic for me to expect others to approve of all my actions, regardless of their merit. If I were to assume that I required others' goodwill before being able to cope with them effectively, I would leave myself open to manipulation. It is unlikely that I require the goodwill and/or cooperation of others in order to survive. A relationship does not require 100% agreement. It is inevitable that others will be hurt or offended by my behavior at times. I am responsible only to myself, and I can deal with periodic disapproval from others.

Assertive Right #8: I have the right to be illogical in making decisions. I sometimes employ logic as a reasoning process to assist me in making judgments. However, logic cannot predict what will happen in every situation. Logic is not much help in dealing with wants, motivations, and feelings. Logic generally deals with ``black or white,'' ``all or none,'' and ``yes or no'' issues. Logic and reasoning don't always work well when dealing with the gray areas of the human condition.


Assertive Right #9: I have the right to say, ``I don't understand.''

Assertive Right #10: I have the right to say, ``I don't care.'' a mistake is part of the human condition. Others may try to manipulate me, having me believe that I am responsible for my mistake.  I will not let others manipulate me.

I hope these help you when dealing with your parents.

Peace
Kitt


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


enWayen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 9/19/2008 6:05 AM (GMT -7)   
Wow Kitt, I love those rights! Never saw them before, thanks!

CD, I would like to add one small thing I remember from a book I read. If you can live in a state of non-resistance, non-judgement, and non-attachment, there can't be negativity. Especially non-attachment might sound scary or wrong, but it doesn't mean you can't love someone, it just means that you shouldn't be dependent on someone to be happy. This way you will love everyone and everything, be able to smile upon life without being dependent on situations to do so.

I like that philosophy, and as with everything of this kind, if you can and will believe in it, it will work as it said.

All the best!
Erik
Acceptance is the key

Existential depression and Insecurity

Try to keep smiling! :)


TAMMYUC
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 9/22/2008 6:29 PM (GMT -7)   

CD,

I've been looking for your postings to see how your doing w/ your UC, have you decided on the surgery? I'm off the steroids as of today, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed (and visiting the bathroom many more times if I don't eat right!)

I'm sorry to read about your depression, I wanted to share w/ you my experience with that as well. I too had a very unsupportive family and felt as though there was something wrong w/ me. I was so bad I was literally unable to function I almost lost my job I couldn't even read because my mind was playing tricks on me hard to describe but it was very AWFUL. The WORSST possible times of my life. Then I decided it was time to seek some help. My insurance covered some of it, and I paid the rest but it was WORTH EVER PENNY! It really changed my life, I know I wouldn't be where I'm at today if I didn't get the help I got, I spent 13 yrs. total w/ my therapist (I know it sounds overwhelming) but I was functioning at a much higher level after the 1st year. I decide to go on for a longer time because I saw the value in it.

See if there are any hospitals by you that will accept what your able to pay, I know there's some by me. My therapist told me to try to do self-therapy on yourself is like doing surgery on your self, doesn't really work, sorry to be negative about it but I remember her saying that.

Good luck to you, hope your feeling better soon.

Tammy


2001 diagnosed
medication history:
pentasa, other forms of mesalamine, remicade, methotrexate, imuran (side effect pancreatitis) currently using Lialda and nicotine patch (patch works better than Lialda) and the wonderful cure all for me prednisone.


bookworm21
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 1766
   Posted 9/23/2008 8:34 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey Tammy,
 
I've been wondering about you, too! Hopefully you'll do okay without steroids. I was actually scheduled for surgery today, but canceled it after my last c-scope which was very good.
 
I haven't been able to find any free psych clinics. I think my college has one but I'll have to wait until I go back in January. I figured self-therapy is better than nothing.
 

Post Edited (ComedyDork) : 12/4/2008 5:55:22 PM (GMT-7)


bookworm21
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 1766
   Posted 9/24/2008 10:04 AM (GMT -7)   
cry  I've been crying a lot the last month or so. When I start crying, I can't stop. I go for over an hour, until after I've given myself a headache and my eyes hurt. It's horrible. I feel so sad and so lonely. I'm fine one moment and then something ticks and I cry. I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm spiraling back down and I have no one to help me.
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