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BobbyLoveBug
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 9/12/2008 5:39 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi All

I was diagnosed with depression last year though I'm not exactly depressed all the time compared to others. I was on medication but didn't find it much different, probably more in my head. I have completed my college course of 4 years and should have the world at my feet but nothings ever right, it wouldn't matter if I had all the money in the world or was a doctor in my chosen course, it's guaranteed I would still find a negative.

I have a few friends, not many though but I think that is my make-up, I'm outgoing to friends but introverted to others. It's strange as I look at people my own age and feel completely disconnected to them. Now I've partied hard during my time on this planet but it's not always the answer, after feeling more outgoing and enjoying life last year I went party mad, the usual stuff that doesn't need to be mentioned and I have no regrets. I go out with a different group of people and I immediately feel I've gone back a few years, the way they behave etc.
I always feel I've disappointed, trying hard to find a job at the moment, I also feel some of these people who have jobs and imo criticize me ( my view of course! ) are somewhat lower than me. Now I understand that comes across as ignorant etc and I accept that but I see what they get up to at the weekend and just feel that why should they have all the confidence etc when they have about as much class or respect as a san Quentin inmate... They ***** and talk about people and I find it repulsive yet they seem to have all the breaks.
I also find it hard to get a girlfriend, obviously from reading above it's not hard to see why tongue ... but no one has at all interested me and it's getting pretty worrying at this stage. Girls either feel the need to show off with me or I'm not cocky enough for them or seen to be 'the man'... and as for what I've written above, well, what girl wants to deal with all that....

It's safe to say I don't know what I want.I always feel judged, I'm called gay every other week, or at least once a month and it seems to get along in this society, one has to sell themselves for the lowest price in a saturated market.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40574
   Posted 9/12/2008 8:05 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Bobby,

First of all I would like to welcome you to Healing well. This is a good place to come to vent. And you wont be judged here. So put down all of your feelings and we can go from there.

I am sorry that you are in a rough place right now. I hope that you can find a job to your liking. I think that you need some structure in your life.

It sounds like you are a lot more mature mentally than the people that you hang out with. If you do indeed hang out. It kind of sounds like you keep to yourself, which is cool too.

Try not to compare yourself to others, it will only make you bitter or vein. There will always be greater and lesser people than yourself. I know it sounds like everybody else is getting all the breaks, but in time things will work out for you. There is a certain job waiting for you, just be patient, but in the meantime keep seeking. It will come.

I am sorry that people are refering to you as gay. That is their problem, just ignore them. They are ignorant. Stay yourself, no matter what people think. the thing is how we react to that and don't give it a second thought.

I hope that you feel better soon. Keep posting, for we are here for you.

Hugs, Karen...
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 9/12/2008 6:01 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Bobby,  I think Karen is right in what she has told you.  You have finished your studies and that is a big accomplishment so be proud of yourself.  It takes time to find the right job but one will come along. You need to be patient and keep your confidence up.  Maybe joining a sports team or some other activity will help you meet new people.  I think some of your friends are not being such good friends to you.  As far as girls go, there really are some nice ones out there.  Sometimes you just have to give someone a chance and get to know them better.  Often times relationships start out as friends.  And often you meet someone when you least expect it so don't try looking too hard.  Girls who show off are not worth the time.  You are young and have your whole life ahead of you.  Try to concentrate on the good things.  Would counseling help you?  You need to give yourself time to develop and that may come from having new interests or joining new groups.  Why not read some books on positive thinking and building self esteem.  I bet in a year's time things will be different for you and you may find yourself in a much better frame of mind.  Please keep posting - it really helps to get your feelings out.  I post a lot and have received a lot of help from others.  So please keep in touch and try to take good care of yourself.  You are worth it!
 
Aurora

Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 9/12/2008 6:04 PM (GMT -7)   

Bobby, one more thought.  You said you tried meds but they didn't make much difference.  You may not have found the right one for you.  It took me 6 different meds before I was put on the one that truly helped me.  So you might want to consider another one.  Just an idea to consider.

Aurora


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/13/2008 9:30 PM (GMT -7)   

Hello Bobby,

Now that you have finished school you have reached another milestone and change is always hard.  You have changed and along with that so have your prioities.

It does not matter what others think but what you think of yourself.  Don't indulge in "stinkin thinkin" instead make a list of all your accomplishments.

Be proud of who you are, hold your head up high and take it one step at a time. You will make it and keep talking to us.

Kitt


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
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BobbyLoveBug
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 9/28/2008 1:17 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for your help.

I do find it difficult to carry on each day without thinking of what people say. I find people say things to insult me and can;t help wonder why anyone would go out of their way to do this. I think at times though being in my 20s that the way people act, it's as if I'm back in school and people still act like this.
It's also myself being sensitive but the human aspect of it bothers me, again why would be people do this?

It would seem one has to join a certain 'club' to get on. The more time goes by I feel a withdrawal from society. More importantly, I see the way people close to me behave and when I feel disconnected from them, there isn't really much left to admire.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40574
   Posted 9/28/2008 4:14 PM (GMT -7)   
Bobby,

I too have wondered this in the past. Why do people become so mean and what really gets me is manipulative people.

When people intentionally hurt others it is mostly because they are miserable inside. They try to belittle others to make themselves feel better. I know that it is hard to understand because you are not that kind of person. It is hard for me too. Just know that they wouldn't be that way if they were happy with themselves.

I can't understand the manipulativeness. I have a hard enough time getting through one normal (if you can call my days normal) day without finding the energy to be manipulative. Where does all their energy come from? I have no idea. It makes me cringe to think of all the planning and scheming that they do. You know that they have to be completely miserable or selfish to plan on ways to hurt others. Life is hard enough, come on...

But sadly to say, there are people like that. And we have to learn not to let it bother us. That is the key to happiness. You have to ignore them. Or else you will be in tears all of the time. Think of how unhappy they must be. And get on and enjoy your life, for life is short. The older you get, the faster that it goes by and I am serious.

You sound like a wonderful person. So try not to let these people get to you. You can rise above this.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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