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Gemsi
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 1050
   Posted 9/16/2008 12:18 PM (GMT -7)   
I feel broken again,
 
and sudenly lost the urge too post after my computer messed up.
 
A little bit though-I'm in hosp right now, and I just need to know that everythings goign too be ok again. I know deep down somewhere I  should be fine. I'm just stuck in this ball of hate again. Not helped by one nurse trying very hard too kill me.
 
This is a bit rambly, I know, I'm going to post again properly soon. Imagine what my first post must have been like before it was destroyed:(
 
My head feels so broken:(

Moderator of the Cystic Fibrosis Forums
Diagnosed with: Cystic Fibrosis, Asthma, ABPA, Clinical Depression, Mild Liver Cirrohsis, Mild Osteopenia, Erythema Nodosum. Waiting for final diagnosis on Muscular Dystrophy type symptoms.
Medication: Creon 10,000, Flucloxacillin, Vitamins A,D+E, Serevent, Salbutamol, Paracetamol, Ondansetron, Nefopam, Ursodeoxycholic Acid, Saline neb/PEP system, Mirtazapine,slow-sodium, Skandishake and Fresubin.
Had a Port-a-cath fitted on chest wall since Nov 05
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
Sometimes, I feel that I should go and play with the thunder-In The Shadows by The Rasmus


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40584
   Posted 9/16/2008 2:03 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Gems,

Sorry that I left chat. But I got kicked off and off internet too. It said that my cookies were in the way of the browser? Whatever that means. But I enjoyed what we shared.

I hope that you feel better soon. Just stay in the moment and everything will be fine.

Hugs, Karen

PS I hate when I lose a post.
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Gemsi
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 1050
   Posted 9/16/2008 2:11 PM (GMT -7)   
Eugh, oh yes messy messy little head, al confuzzled.

Nurse tried too kill me today. I told her what I thought of religion after the hundreth time of her asking. She got upset. If she didn't want me too say something bad, then she shouldn't keep asking right? I only have a limit too how long I can be polite for.

Then, she came round with cloudy hepsal. Yes, cloudy- no reason, just she didn't realise. Thankgod one of us was awake then huh?
Then, she brought me paracetamol after 3 hours since last dose, and expected me too be good patient and just take it. There's huge raging dangers of a normal peatient taking paracetamol too early, how come she expected m, me who has a reaction to everything at normal doses, to be ok with this, I don't know.

So, then I thought back, and this is the same nurse who once tried too give me codeine because she got patients mixed up. Thankfully one of us was awake there too as I'm allergic to codeine, it makes me shakey at small doses.

So, I've bannished this nurse from my site, banned her from ever treating me ever again, put in a complaint against her. So, why do I still feel so messed up, so ready to just run away, so scared that the next person too mess up really will be my last.

I'm scared because this is the hospital Sami died in, these were the lovely people who were looking after her. What if the reason she was so ill, is exactly the reason I'm stressing right now. If she died because some nurse somewhere along the line got it wrong, and the damage slowely progressed and grew until the end.

I know I'm babbling, I know I'm probably thinking unrealistic, that things aren't as bad. But right now I can't get my head round it, I'm just so confused, and very full of tears. I can't cope with being reminded of Sami, in such a horrible way. Not even a month past the anniversary of her death. How dare anyone question my religious views, knowing full well what I'm having too get through. Then get upset because I've lost my faith and becaus eI'm wondering why they still even have theirs.

I'm sorry for putting ths here, but I need an outlet, and this really is the bst place right now. Being online distracts me from where I am and what's going on around me. I can't talk to any body about this, in person, because I'm just getting so wound up and frustrated. The only time I'm not punching the stuffing out of a pilow, is when I can calm down,andslam the stuffing out of my keys instead. It's already working, I'll be too tired out soon. I'm already slowing down.

I hate geting this worked up, being forced into getting this worked up by such carelessness and absolute idiocy! I wish their was a way to just switch this off:(

7 days to go in this hell hole, that's all. I have 7 days left too survive this hospital, then I can go on holiday with Paul. Why does 7 days sounds so far away?:(
Moderator of the Cystic Fibrosis Forums
Diagnosed with: Cystic Fibrosis, Asthma, ABPA, Clinical Depression, Mild Liver Cirrohsis, Mild Osteopenia, Erythema Nodosum. Waiting for final diagnosis on Muscular Dystrophy type symptoms.
Medication: Creon 10,000, Flucloxacillin, Vitamins A,D+E, Serevent, Salbutamol, Paracetamol, Ondansetron, Nefopam, Ursodeoxycholic Acid, Saline neb/PEP system, Mirtazapine,slow-sodium, Skandishake and Fresubin.
Had a Port-a-cath fitted on chest wall since Nov 05
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
Sometimes, I feel that I should go and play with the thunder-In The Shadows by The Rasmus


Gemsi
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 1050
   Posted 9/16/2008 2:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Was rewriting everything as you replied. Thankyou Karen. Thankyou for caring enough too reply.

I'm trying so hard to just let this sail over me, too just let myself carry on. I just have too find a way round this conrete wall that's blocking my path. I know there must be a way, I've got passed such bigger things before. It's just getting so hard to carry my head forward, whne in al honesty it so badley needs a good rest.
I guess things will be easier once I leave here, once I no longer have too worry about who's trying to kill me with what. I'm so used too fighting, where I'm my own biggest risk, and I can deal with that in a way. Im a weakling, I can fight yself too the ground no problem. But when sme moron just gives me another obstacle. Soemone I know is stronger than me, and holds me power than me. I'm just so scared I guess.

Thankyou again, going for a quick shower too calm down a bit-tear filled hair is gross, definately not a feel better maker!
Moderator of the Cystic Fibrosis Forums
Diagnosed with: Cystic Fibrosis, Asthma, ABPA, Clinical Depression, Mild Liver Cirrohsis, Mild Osteopenia, Erythema Nodosum. Waiting for final diagnosis on Muscular Dystrophy type symptoms.
Medication: Creon 10,000, Flucloxacillin, Vitamins A,D+E, Serevent, Salbutamol, Paracetamol, Ondansetron, Nefopam, Ursodeoxycholic Acid, Saline neb/PEP system, Mirtazapine,slow-sodium, Skandishake and Fresubin.
Had a Port-a-cath fitted on chest wall since Nov 05
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
Sometimes, I feel that I should go and play with the thunder-In The Shadows by The Rasmus


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40584
   Posted 9/16/2008 2:23 PM (GMT -7)   
I think it sounds so far away because you are somewhere that you don't want to be. I feel so bad for you. But it will go by faster than you think it will and you will be feeling better.

I bet that if you think about your holiday you will be able to escape for awhile in your mind.

I hope that you feel better soon Gems.

Luv and hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Gemsi
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 1050
   Posted 9/17/2008 2:51 AM (GMT -7)   
6 days too go, in 6 days I'll be home.

The shower did make me feel better, and sent me straight to sleep.
Was woken bright and early this morning. Tried weetabix felt sick, tried too eat a rib steak burger, got 3/4's of the way through it. Coffee seems awful, nowhere near sweet enough.

I don't feel as bad, as I did last night, but I have the whole 'after the storm' feeling going on. Just weak and worn out, and sad, so very sad.

Been through physio this morning, my physio involved playing a few set games on my Wii. My physiotherpist decides which ones. Couldn't find the energy or enthusiasm at all, even after making her a character. She's coming back later to see if I'm more alive.

Trying too hide from CF team today, just don't wanna see my docs. I'm really not in the mood for interrigation. For really even having too talk to anyone. The only doc I'd be happy to see right now is my psychiatrist, and I don't think she's coming too see me.

:(
 
Edit:
Psych phoned me, appointment in half an hour. Good thing about being in the same hosp as her eh?
 
Anyway, heading out now, it'll take a while too get away from this ward. Going to see her in outpatients, so I don't have no earwigging nurses too worry about.
 
See you in a bit x


Moderator of the Cystic Fibrosis Forums
Diagnosed with: Cystic Fibrosis, Asthma, ABPA, Clinical Depression, Mild Liver Cirrohsis, Mild Osteopenia, Erythema Nodosum. Waiting for final diagnosis on Muscular Dystrophy type symptoms.
Medication: Creon 10,000, Flucloxacillin, Vitamins A,D+E, Serevent, Salbutamol, Paracetamol, Ondansetron, Nefopam, Ursodeoxycholic Acid, Saline neb/PEP system, Mirtazapine,slow-sodium, Skandishake and Fresubin.
Had a Port-a-cath fitted on chest wall since Nov 05
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
Sometimes, I feel that I should go and play with the thunder-In The Shadows by The Rasmus

Post Edited (Darkies Gem) : 9/17/2008 5:59:50 AM (GMT-6)


Dark
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 105
   Posted 9/17/2008 5:02 AM (GMT -7)   
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Darkies Gem)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Gemsi
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 1050
   Posted 9/17/2008 6:38 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Dark, thankyou very much *hugs back*

Psych appointment went well, things seem more sense, I know it's not just me goign crazy, there have obviously been some triggers or I wouldn't be feeling this way.

Now have to make a list, I have somewhere too target my mkind power for a bit. Lists are hard for me, especially when they involve the hospital.

I just have to right down what keeps triggering me, and what I expect from people.

She's coming too see me tomorrow, just to check up on me make sure I haven't caused the mass murder I feel like lol.
Moderator of the Cystic Fibrosis Forums
Diagnosed with: Cystic Fibrosis, Asthma, ABPA, Clinical Depression, Mild Liver Cirrohsis, Mild Osteopenia, Erythema Nodosum. Waiting for final diagnosis on Muscular Dystrophy type symptoms.
Medication: Creon 10,000, Flucloxacillin, Vitamins A,D+E, Serevent, Salbutamol, Paracetamol, Ondansetron, Nefopam, Ursodeoxycholic Acid, Saline neb/PEP system, Mirtazapine,slow-sodium, Skandishake and Fresubin.
Had a Port-a-cath fitted on chest wall since Nov 05
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
Sometimes, I feel that I should go and play with the thunder-In The Shadows by The Rasmus


sheryl=jk
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2004
Total Posts : 4083
   Posted 9/17/2008 10:18 AM (GMT -7)   
Darkies Gem, Im so sorryyi have to be there, I am glad your pyhch came to see you.
My apppt went well today, i go back in 3 months. I t was nice talking to you in chat yesterday. I hope your having a better day today. I hope you get out of there soon.
 
God Bless,and have a Great Day!!.......Love.....Sheryl
xcema,hypermobile,Chronic Bronchitus,Fatigue,Positive ANAFibro-05--Had surgery on left & right knees 06, Interstial Cystitis-06 Spondlylosis/Disc Degernation Disease severe arthitis lower back -08,implantedInterstim-06 hysterectomy & IBS-06 Arthiritus-04 Depression-04GERDS/ Hiatial hernia -07   Anxiety-07 Gastroparesis-08--Occasional Migraines
 Plz help HW to help others by donating: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/


enWayen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 9/17/2008 10:28 AM (GMT -7)   
Heej Gem,

I am sorry for you feeling this way. Maybe you could do something that will take your mind out of the hospital for a while, like read (or even better, write!) a story, listen to music intensely (to, for instance, the lyrics, so that you don't wonder of with your mind). Things like that.

All the best!
(((((hugs)))))
Erik
Acceptance is the key

Existential depression and Insecurity

Try to keep smiling! :)


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/17/2008 11:17 AM (GMT -7)   

Hey Gems,

I am so sorry you are in a bad place right now but I know you to be a fighter, so let out all that emotion and know you are normal to be feeling depressed.  You fight every day for your health.  We are right here darling young lady to hold you up.

I have been MIA lately but you can always know I am here for you.

You are much loved by so many, you are our Gem.

Love you,

Kitt


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Gemsi
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 1050
   Posted 9/18/2008 10:09 AM (GMT -7)   
I have been writing this, and rewriting this all day.

I'm trying to word how much gratitude I feel for healingwell right now, and for all you wonderful people right now.

I'm feeling better today, though apparently I look worse. Always the case it's annoying!

I've seen my psych again today, which was good. Ive also been dragged on a million mile hike round the hospital by a physio who's decided the best excercise for me today, was to accompany her on her errands around the hospital. It was ok, until my legs went, my breath went. She couldn't understand it as my sats only went from 98 down too 95. That's not a big drop at all, not nearly enough to warrant out of puff I was.

The other day I was in such a state. I know what would have happened had I not forced myself to stay and talk to people online. I'd have ran off for hours, to my normal hiding spot, in a dusty corner under a set of stairs. I don't know where things would have led from there, because normally that hiding spot is for me too go and listen too my music really loud, without any disturbances. While I finished off screaming too myself inside and tired myself out. This time, I had no Ipod as it broke a week ago.

Thankyou so much for your kind words, esepcially when you must have so much going on in your own lives. I do ramble on, and lots of my ramblings don't make much sense.

Kitt, you are a darling, you have been a good friend too me, and I wish from the bottom of my heart, that I could do something to make you feel as good as you deserve. You are an amazing person, don't ever forget that. Too here someone, or see someone tell me I'm normal, I thinkthat is the biggest present. I am so used to being told by doctors 'oh, it's just you being weird again' or too students 'don't worry that's just Gemma being awkward again'. It's so nice too be told once in a while, Gemma this is normal don't worry. I think the only people who ever say that are you, and my psych.
Karen, I'm so sorry how things are going for you right now. I'm sending all the love I can right now, you also seem to be one who is there at every scarey corner cheering me on.

I've written out my lists now, and am tweaking them, then going to email them too my psych. Much better that way, as I can explain things so much better in writing. Just have too force myself not to go into a rant lol.

Right, I've just been ordered too sleep by a nurse, because I'm feeling sick (didn't make sense too me either) but for once I might actually listen, as I was up early and have worn out my little lungs and brain more than once today, maybe sleep will do me some good.

*hugs too you all*
Gem xxxx
Moderator of the Cystic Fibrosis Forums
Diagnosed with: Cystic Fibrosis, Asthma, ABPA, Clinical Depression, Mild Liver Cirrohsis, Mild Osteopenia, Erythema Nodosum. Waiting for final diagnosis on Muscular Dystrophy type symptoms.
Medication: Creon 10,000, Flucloxacillin, Vitamins A,D+E, Serevent, Salbutamol, Paracetamol, Ondansetron, Nefopam, Ursodeoxycholic Acid, Saline neb/PEP system, Mirtazapine,slow-sodium, Skandishake and Fresubin.
Had a Port-a-cath fitted on chest wall since Nov 05
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
Sometimes, I feel that I should go and play with the thunder-In The Shadows by The Rasmus


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/18/2008 10:33 AM (GMT -7)   

Aw sweet Gems,

I do care so much about you and how your doing.  You are truly normal and you have one heavy load on your shoulders.  It is enough to wear anyone down.  O2 Sats are not 100% accurate so yes you can feel short of breath and fatigue even with a SAT of 95%. My sister can be in the 95% range and her breathing is very stressed.  As I always say, look at your patient not at the numbers. The numbers are a tool but the patient is your best source of info on how a person is tolerating activity.

I am so glad you do come here and post to the members as you are special, very special and you give so much to the other members that it is good you will accept our help when you need it.

Sweet Hugs My Gem.

Love,

Kitt


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

Post Edited (stkitt) : 9/20/2008 9:05:53 AM (GMT-6)


sheryl=jk
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2004
Total Posts : 4083
   Posted 9/18/2008 10:34 AM (GMT -7)   
Gem i hope you do get some rest. We are all here for you, take care.. smurf
 
God Bless,and have a Great Day!!.......Love.....Sheryl
xcema,hypermobile,Chronic Bronchitus,Fatigue,Positive ANAFibro-05--Had surgery on left & right knees 06, Interstial Cystitis-06 Spondlylosis/Disc Degernation Disease severe arthitis lower back -08,implantedInterstim-06 hysterectomy & IBS-06 Arthiritus-04 Depression-04GERDS/ Hiatial hernia -07   Anxiety-07 Gastroparesis-08--Occasional Migraines
 Plz help HW to help others by donating: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/


Gemsi
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 1050
   Posted 9/18/2008 11:50 AM (GMT -7)   
Oh dear, sleeping not going well.

Evil witch nurse is on, went too go get some Maalox as acid keeps coming up in my throat everytime I lay down. Saw her glaring at me from nurses station, and literaly ran back to my room. This is such a ridiculous reaction, I know this, yet still I'm sat here shaking and terrified. I thought I'd been doing so well today aswell. Oh bah, can't even press my buzzer in case she decides to answer it. Hopefully, with any luck, she's gone off duty now.........Or some sane nurse will pop by too check on me.

Munch munch-chocolate-that'll hold off the burning for a bit longer.......
Moderator of the Cystic Fibrosis Forums
Diagnosed with: Cystic Fibrosis, Asthma, ABPA, Clinical Depression, Mild Liver Cirrohsis, Mild Osteopenia, Erythema Nodosum. Waiting for final diagnosis on Muscular Dystrophy type symptoms.
Medication: Creon 10,000, Flucloxacillin, Vitamins A,D+E, Serevent, Salbutamol, Paracetamol, Ondansetron, Nefopam, Ursodeoxycholic Acid, Saline neb/PEP system, Mirtazapine,slow-sodium, Skandishake and Fresubin.
Had a Port-a-cath fitted on chest wall since Nov 05
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
Sometimes, I feel that I should go and play with the thunder-In The Shadows by The Rasmus


sheryl=jk
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2004
Total Posts : 4083
   Posted 9/18/2008 11:59 AM (GMT -7)   
Gem I hope that nurse gets off of shift soon, you shouldnt have to be scared of her. Although i would be too. Im sorry the sleeping didnt go well. Maybe later.
 
God Bless,and have a Great Day!!.......Love.....Sheryl
xcema,hypermobile,Chronic Bronchitus,Fatigue,Positive ANAFibro-05--Had surgery on left & right knees 06, Interstial Cystitis-06 Spondlylosis/Disc Degernation Disease severe arthitis lower back -08,implantedInterstim-06 hysterectomy & IBS-06 Arthiritus-04 Depression-04GERDS/ Hiatial hernia -07   Anxiety-07 Gastroparesis-08--Occasional Migraines
 Plz help HW to help others by donating: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/


Gemsi
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 1050
   Posted 9/19/2008 2:22 AM (GMT -7)   
Haven't slept at all, in so much pain-it feels like I'm getting stabbed everytime I move-yet for some reason the doctor can't work out why I'm crying.
Yes, having my notes laid out right there in front of her, she has asked if it is normal for me too be crying.

So, as daft as that's just made me feel, I'm now sobbing even more.

Painkillers just been tripled, they have no cause too my pain, but as usual just going to try to stop the pain, without even considering what its cause might be. Good to know, considering it's my lower back thats hurting, and the other day they found protein in my urine and haven't done a sample since. Good to know they're just going too pump some more toxins into my body.

Thankgod paul's coming up to see me today. I think I need him, purely so he can shout at people for me.
Moderator of the Cystic Fibrosis Forums
Diagnosed with: Cystic Fibrosis, Asthma, ABPA, Clinical Depression, Mild Liver Cirrohsis, Mild Osteopenia, Erythema Nodosum. Waiting for final diagnosis on Muscular Dystrophy type symptoms.
Medication: Creon 10,000, Flucloxacillin, Vitamins A,D+E, Serevent, Salbutamol, Paracetamol, Ondansetron, Nefopam, Ursodeoxycholic Acid, Saline neb/PEP system, Mirtazapine,slow-sodium, Skandishake and Fresubin.
Had a Port-a-cath fitted on chest wall since Nov 05
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
Sometimes, I feel that I should go and play with the thunder-In The Shadows by The Rasmus


Confusedli
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 9/19/2008 3:03 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey,

Thats such an insensitive thing for your Doctor to say! It must be so frustrating for you! You will be out of there soon, just keeping thinking about that!
Confusedli
 
"The Optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious of the rose."
 
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain"


Gemsi
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 1050
   Posted 9/20/2008 2:42 AM (GMT -7)   
Had a really good night.
 
After first doc came round yesterday, and offered me nothing, except triple nefopam-which didn't do anything. Another doc came round, and spoke to me in an easy, none ordering manner, and asked what I thought would help. I mentioned Valium, purely because when I had my portacath fitted, it just relaxed me so much. She wasn't too keen, mainly because she thought a Nefopam and Diazapam combo, would knock me out. I explained, that's exactly what I wanted. So she prescribed 2mg of diazapam, and more nefopam as  PRN, should pain get really unbearable throughout day. Yes, I'm sure this means I exceed regular dosage. But then, there's nothing else I can have. I like this doc so much, I like docs who listen to my suggestions and actually consider them, rather than seeing me just as a patient who doesn't know anything about meds, and should follow their orders.
 
I took the diazapam after my last lots of meds last night. I cannot remember much other than sitting on my bed. It knocked me out good and proper, probably because my body was so tired anyway. Got woke up this morning by some nurse who decided to ask if I wanted breakfast at 7am. For the first hour, my head felt like it was wrapped in cotton wool and cushioned and I was in no pain at all. I didn't have my normal thoughts of-gosh I survived another day, or how am I gonna survive today. I woke up feeling so refreshed. Slowely the cotton wool unravelled and I'm almost back to normal, and slowely pain started too come back.
 
To wake up pain and worry free though, I've not known this in so long, and it was just sooooo nice!
 
I just wish it was a med that could be prescribed always, life would be so much easier if I didn't think so much lol.
 
I feel so much more chilled out today-but then after been woken by first nurse, another nurse then did come and give me a huge hug, and told me it was her looking after me today, so could be a feeling of relief at being looked after by a nurse I can trust 300%. It's the same nurse who took me horse riding lol.
 
Also, Paul has rang this morning, to tell me I've received a get well soon card through the post, from the mentor place I volunteer at. Brought a few tears too my eyes did that. It's so nice to know they're thinking of me, and there's no pressure to make it in next Tuesday. If it had been paid work, knowing I'm due out on Tuesday, they'd have got me doing a shift. It's nice not to have pressure.
 
Hmmmmm, hope this good mood sticks, it's nice to be having such a positive day! 
 
 
 


Moderator of the Cystic Fibrosis Forums
Diagnosed with: Cystic Fibrosis, Asthma, ABPA, Clinical Depression, Mild Liver Cirrohsis, Mild Osteopenia, Erythema Nodosum. Waiting for final diagnosis on Muscular Dystrophy type symptoms.
Medication: Creon 10,000, Flucloxacillin, Vitamins A,D+E, Serevent, Salbutamol, Paracetamol, Ondansetron, Nefopam, Ursodeoxycholic Acid, Saline neb/PEP system, Mirtazapine,slow-sodium, Skandishake and Fresubin.
Had a Port-a-cath fitted on chest wall since Nov 05
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
Sometimes, I feel that I should go and play with the thunder-In The Shadows by The Rasmus

Post Edited (Darkies Gem) : 9/20/2008 3:57:50 AM (GMT-6)


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/20/2008 8:16 AM (GMT -7)   

Awesome................you got a good nights sleep.  I am thrilled for you and what a nice day nurse you have.  She gave you a hug, the best medicine many times.  Just to have the human contact and know someone cares.

Well Gems, you are worth so much more then diamonds and gold. You are bright and sunny on your good days and it is so nice to know you received a card.

I am so happy for you, I know what it feels like to stress out for days and not get sleep.

Your Doctor was insensitive to your needs.  I am glad you found the right one to give you 2 mg of Valium. turn

Please know we are all here and we care about you and support you.

Home soon for you.................Hurrah. Many hugs to you my dear friend.

Love

Kitt


Gemsi
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 1050
   Posted 9/20/2008 1:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Kitt, you are so loverly *hugs*

Been getting lots of cuddles today. The whole professionalism thing sucks so bad. If my friends are sad, I'd hug them, if I saw a nurse sad, well I'd go right ahead and hug them too. The best feel good treatment sometimes are big squishy hugs.

Had a good day, people in chat have made me really happy, kept me laughing and kept me out of mischief. People can be so lovely sometimes!:)

Still been in much pain-and suddenly getting fears of ODing on Nefopam-mainly because my pupils have dilated too saucer size. So gonna see whether I'm in much more pain on 1 less next dose.

Got really panicky earlier and you'll probably like this story, guaranteed giggles. I suddenly realised I was sat on something warm, which felt a bit damp....I thought I'd wet myself without realising, I felt soooo embarrased! Anyway, so I started to get up to look at the damage. However when I got up, I realised, I'd been sat on my heat pack, I must have just moved and it had slipped from my back to my bum or something. Oh, I felt soooooo silly!!!!
This heat pack is excellant though, it's a jelly one, and microwavable. I've never seen anything like it, it stays warm for soooooo long and is so comfy, it actually disolves the pain in my back too, but only while I have it against my back. Just need another 4 to strap onto my arms and legs now!!!

Got more diazapam for tonight:)

Extra squishy hugs to everyone.
Moderator of the Cystic Fibrosis Forums
Diagnosed with: Cystic Fibrosis, Asthma, ABPA, Clinical Depression, Mild Liver Cirrohsis, Mild Osteopenia, Erythema Nodosum. Waiting for final diagnosis on Muscular Dystrophy type symptoms.
Medication: Creon 10,000, Flucloxacillin, Vitamins A,D+E, Serevent, Salbutamol, Paracetamol, Ondansetron, Nefopam, Ursodeoxycholic Acid, Saline neb/PEP system, Mirtazapine,slow-sodium, Skandishake and Fresubin.
Had a Port-a-cath fitted on chest wall since Nov 05
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
Sometimes, I feel that I should go and play with the thunder-In The Shadows by The Rasmus


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/20/2008 4:13 PM (GMT -7)   

Gems sat on her back pack............that is a hoot. smilewinkgrin tongue turn smhair shocked eyes cool

I know that feeling of thinking you have just made a mess and don't know how to back out of it gracefully.

I am a hugger too, and I always said the thing I did best at work was hug people.  I could read their sadness on their faces. Giving someone a hug feels like you have taken some of the sadness off them and are helping them carry their burden.

You may want to spread out your dose of pain medication but if you feel you need it more often then use it. 

Big saucers in your eyes huh, was it time for High Tea?

Glad your day was better then yesterday.  Keep on moving forward.

Hugs galore

Your Kitt


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
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stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/21/2008 3:53 PM (GMT -7)   

Hey Gems

How are you today? I am thinking of you and know you are never alone.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((GEMS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Love,
Kitt


djdaz_1985
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 9/22/2008 1:41 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey Gem,

I have just read the thread for the first time after getting my internet back (Again!). Im really sorry that things have gone bad again but I am glad that you are getting help, which is more than a lot of people do. I'm sure everything will work itself out in the end... just have the faith. How are you feeling today? Hopefully better than last week.

(((((BIG HUGS)))))

Darren
Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
 
"A gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if your not enough without it, you will never be enough with it." - Irvine Blitzer (John Candy) in Cool Runnings
 
Moderator - Epilepsy Forum
Co-Moderator - Depression Forum
 
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Gemsi
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 1050
   Posted 9/22/2008 2:38 AM (GMT -7)   
Thankyou sweetie,
Kind of anxious right now.

Waiting for the docs to come round, to see if they will kick me out today instead of tomorrow.

I know one more day doesn't seem like such a huge deal, but for some reason today it is. I don't want to be trapped in here another night!

Yesterday, I struggled. People were talking about me on the ward, because I'd got up late, kept my curtains shut, and didn't eat till gone dinner. I think for those reasons, they probably didn't think I could hear them.
The way I see it though, is that it was a Sunday, nobody brought me any coffee all day. And I was feeling sick due too all meds, plus I really wasn't in the mood for communicating with anyone, surely I can't be blamed for that?

Oh, my chest is still producing loads of green stuff, enough so the physios have just cringed at how yucky it looks. Meaning I'm probably gonna need some meds to tide me over the holiday, then even more meds when I get back home. It's not good to have gone through all this hassle, for the IV's not too have had that much of an effect. Only increased my lung function. It'd be nice if they actually removed the infection too!!!
Tried too have a shower to relax this morning, but can you believe they have no towels and apprently patients are having too use pillow cases!!! How awful is that?!? I don't bring my own towels in, due to the fact that I end up so stinky with my IV's and sweating the stuff, that anything i use or wear just ends up also smelling bad. I'd have too bring in a new towel for everyday, which just isn't possible. I desperately want to get home today, I feel so dirty and icky. The physios want to get me down to the gym later, which of course wont be at all embarrasing!
 
Thankyou sweet kitty,
Bah, I think I just need to be out of this place. It induces so much negative thinking!!!!
I hope you're feeling ok today honey.
*huge hugs*
xxx


Moderator of the Cystic Fibrosis Forums
Diagnosed with: Cystic Fibrosis, Asthma, ABPA, Clinical Depression, Mild Liver Cirrohsis, Mild Osteopenia, Erythema Nodosum. Waiting for final diagnosis on Muscular Dystrophy type symptoms.
Medication: Creon 10,000, Flucloxacillin, Vitamins A,D+E, Serevent, Salbutamol, Paracetamol, Ondansetron, Nefopam, Ursodeoxycholic Acid, Saline neb/PEP system, Mirtazapine,slow-sodium, Skandishake and Fresubin.
Had a Port-a-cath fitted on chest wall since Nov 05
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
Sometimes, I feel that I should go and play with the thunder-In The Shadows by The Rasmus

Post Edited (Darkies Gem) : 9/22/2008 3:45:15 AM (GMT-6)

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