I was in your wife's position when I had met my college boyfriend during my junior year. He was a virgin and I wasn't. Worst yet, I had 5 partners before him. It was really hard for me to handle his insecurities because I just didn't know how to redo the past. It wasn't my fault. He would make me feel guilty about it. Part of me just wished he would go sleep with another woman just to get over the issue.
What he did was internalized it and fantasized about me having s/x with other men. It actually turned him on.
Each time you think obsessively about the circumstance, imagine what your life would be like without her. Would it be better? Would you be able to find a virgin now and would she be as good as your wife now? Is virginity really the issue?
Post Edited (dancingrain) : 9/17/2008 10:29:37 AM (GMT-6)
Welcome to HealingWell. I am Kitt. I would say you have received excellent advice. "Stay in the Moment" The past is over and you can not redo it. Tommorw will get here soon enough so live in the today.
Kick the constant thinking to the curb as it is nothing but "stinkin thinkin" and you do not need those negative thoughts in your head.
You know your wife to be a good person and you know in your heart it is you she loves. Cherish that love and revel in it. think aout it for a minute, Wow, you are loved. That is special. You have womone to love..............Peace to you,
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression& GERD Forums*~*