Greetings from planet bleh

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

spiffyspiff
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 9/19/2008 4:29 AM (GMT -7)   
hello, im new and i absolutely detest the world. i cant think of anything anymore that makes me happy, so in my head i create a new world and imagine horrible things about people.. really horrible things...i honestly wonder whats wrong with me. when i go to school i put on a fake cover and act all happy and cheerful, but inside i feel all this anger inside me boiling and to keep from screaming bloody murder, i pinch myself until i bruise. i dont even know WHAT im angry about! ive come to the conclusion that everyone i know is either a hypocrite or a snot nosed crazy lunatic. im always stressed and im suffering from insomnia. i take enormous amounts of caffeine, which i know is definetly bad for me. anyways i just want to talk with people who might understand what it feels like to have so much emotion kept inside, like crazy old me.

enWayen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 9/19/2008 5:45 AM (GMT -7)   
Heej Spiff,

I know what it is like to have all that rage inside. There was no way to let it out, and at night, I always lay in bed thinking of some brutal wars I fought in. Or I would just punch the wall to bruise my knuckles.

But I found out that there are ways to get the emotion out, a lot of ways. You could write things down, about what is bothering you. Just shut down your mind and start writing whatever you feel like writing. After that, you could read your story, and think about what exactly is bothering, and what are possible causes for all that emotion. I found out that I needed someone who care'd for me, but due to the mask I put on, no one ever saw that I needed help. And I didn't want to start about it, because of the fear of being rejected, bothering people etc. They had to come to me while there was no way they could know.

Another way to let the anger out is physical exercise, though I do not know whether this is good. When I felt hopeless and angry, I would do physical exercise, or more like physical torture. I would go running or rowing until I literally fell down. Then I would stand up and continue until all the anger was gone. I don't know whether this is good for you, but it did made me feel better, and I never discovered any physical pains or problems with doing this.

You can also turn to write down your thoughts in poems, and even better (for me :) ), music. Whenever I feel something coming up, I start to improvise on the piano to get my thoughts and emotions out. This works amazing, I become relaxed, in peace again. Maybe that there is something creative that will work for you too.

But the most important factor of your rage can be the hormones. I think you are still a relatively young person (as I am), and well, hormones are a part of that. And of course, the older, the wiser :). The older you grow, the more insight in yourself you will get, in how to get rid of the excess of pain and locked up emotions. For me, it was music and meditation to get me in peace again. If I feel something coming up now with no piano around, I'll just try to stay aware of the feeling inside my chest, and accept it for what it is. As long as I am aware, the feeling can't take over, and so there is no problem.

I hope you will find your way of dealing with it, and just remember it is not uncommon for people to have these emotions. And I suggest that either you yourself or with the help of a professional will try to find out the reason. For instance, do you feel the hatred when being alone on a sunny day in nature, listening to the birds? Do you feel hate against nature, or only humans? Are there people to whom you will never, or always, feel hatred? Questions like that.

All the best, and remember writing is good way for letting the emotions out, and you can always tell me if you want someone to listen!
Erik
Acceptance is the key

Existential depression and Insecurity

Try to keep smiling! :)


Confusedli
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 9/19/2008 5:50 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey,

Have you tried speaking to anybody about how you feel like a friend, your parents or a counsellor? Maybe it would help to get things out in the open or off your chest at least. If you don't feel you can talk to anyone you could try writing things down in a journal or something?

Sometimes I find it hard to see things which make me happy, so I've started writing down one thing each day that made me smile/feel good, then you can look back at then, or just by coming up with stuff it helps. Sometimes it can be the most trivial thing in the world, like the sun is out or you watched a good film.

Maybe there is something in your past that is making you angry without you even knowing it?!

The caffine is probably contributing to the insomnia, maybe you should try some sort of meditation to get your thoughts to slow down and help you to sleep
Confusedli
 
"The Optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious of the rose."
 
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain"


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/19/2008 3:54 PM (GMT -7)   

Hello Spiff

Welcome to HealingWell.  You have a lot of emotion stirring inside of you.  What makes you feel so angry at people?

I hope you will take the advise of the members who have responded to you and get some help, some therapy.  Don't knock therapy as a worthless waste of your time but open your mind to let in the possibility that a professional may be able to help you.  Remember they are there for you only and you will be able to let out the feelings.

Take care and keep posting.

Again a warm welcome.

Kitt


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


spiffyspiff
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 9/20/2008 10:22 AM (GMT -7)   
thanks for the great advice. i think i will try writing out my emotions. but as for talking to someone, i dont think im ready to spill out my guts to anyone. i just dont know HOW. this morning i went for a run until i couldnt feel my legs anymore, let alone breathe. and i can honestly say that i felt at least a little better. thanks erik. im gonna try to throw out all my coffee, and at least try to get some sleep. thanks for welcoming me, made me feel good:)

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/20/2008 12:15 PM (GMT -7)   

spiff,

Glad to hear your going to try being more physical and also ditching most of the caffeine.

If therapy is not your thing right now that is alright.  We are here and we care so just hop online anytime you want to. WE suppport you.

Keep on running like the wind.......... turn

Kitt


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 9/20/2008 5:44 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Spiff, I agree with what the others have said.  First, getting rid of the caffeine is the best thing for you right now as it is probably over stimulating you and as you said can't sleep.  Writing down you feelings or journaling can help you.  I think in the long run, when you are ready, that talking to a therapist may help you.  You do need to find the right one.  Having a neutral person to listen to you and get you to see things in a different light and may help you channel away some of that anger.  They may be able to help you understand where the anger is coming from.  Running and exercise is good for you.  It releases the endorphins in your brain and makes you feel better.  Just don't run yourself ragged.  Post anytime you want to get your feelings out.  There is always someone here to listen and respond to you. Try to take good care of yourself.  If you are healthy you will be able to deal with your problems in a better way.

Aurora


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 9/21/2008 4:51 AM (GMT -7)   
Quiting caffiene cold turkey can cause some real headaches. I bought some decaff and add with my regular coffee. Two scoops regular and one of decaff. Gradually increase the decaff. If you are a coffee lover it is worth going slowly.

Best wishes,

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Sunday, December 04, 2016 1:15 AM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,732,428 posts in 301,019 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151182 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, Sean C..
161 Guest(s), 1 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
chacha


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer