Tears won't stop, how can I adjust to my pain

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Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 9/22/2008 5:21 PM (GMT -7)   
I talked with my sons and then called the vet today and the only day all 3 of us can go to the vet to have the dog put to sleep is Tues Sept 30.  My younger son doesn't really seem to understand the situation.  He thinks we should just wait and see what happens.  In the meantime, the dog is barely eating, I know he has some pain, can barely walk, is deaf, blind, incontinent both ways and I see no quality left in his life.  I have made this decision as I feel it is better to get it done than wait and see how much more he may suffer. I am so heartbroken but I am trying to be realistic and humane.  The vet thinks it is time also.  My son thinks I am doing it because I once mentioned that I thought the dog was aggravating my asthma.  Forget that I have had to go through countless lung and heart tests, x rays and cat scans to the tune of thousands of dollars.  I am not doing this because of the asthma.  He says what if the asthma is still bad when the dog is gone.  Well, that may happen, but I am doing this because the dog is suffering and this is the best solution to a horrible problem.  I spend my days with the dog - doesn't he think I feel terrible?  My older son agrees I am doing the right thing, but he lives with me so he sees what is going on.  And if we wait longer it will be closer to the holidays and then I am going to feel even worse.  I am in such pain and wanted to release these bad feelings.  I know so many of you have been in the same situation so you understand.  And I know I have posted about this before but now it is a reality and it just sucks.  I suppose letting all the tears out may help.  Sorry to be so wordy and repetitve but I just had to write all of this. 

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40581
   Posted 9/22/2008 5:38 PM (GMT -7)   
HI Aurora,

I agree with you. Do not let this dog suffer. Do what is in the best interest of the dog. Your son will understand as time goes by. You can't let this poor animal suffer because your son wants to wait. Do what you know to be right.

I know that it is hard. I have been through this myself a few times. I have always had dogs and they were always bigger dogs so they don't live all that long. Mostly about eight to ten years at the most. It is so difficult to do, but you can't stand to watch them suffer.

We are all here for you while you make this decision. And we know that you will do the right thing.

Best wishes, and thinking of you Aurora
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 9/22/2008 6:25 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you Karen for your kind words.  i know I am doing the right thing.  I have had this dog for 16 yrs, 8 mos.  I have given him a good home, lots of love and attention - I can't think of how a dog could have had a better life.  It is time to let him go and I will.  My son will get over it.  It is just a very sad time.

Confusedli
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 9/23/2008 1:29 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Aurora.

Wow your Dog is old! I think your Son is just upset because he will miss the dog & he is looking for someone to blame. He will be ok in a few days, and I'm sure in his heart he knows its for the best, he is probably just feeling sad!

It must be sad as you've had your dog for so long it must be like he is a part of the family, I've never had any pets, but I would like a dog I think!
Confusedli
 
"The Optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious of the rose."
 
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain"


bookworm21
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 1766
   Posted 9/23/2008 8:38 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Aurora,
 
I'm sorry your dog is so sick. I agree that it's time to end his suffering; you are making the right decision.
 
*hugs*

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/23/2008 10:40 AM (GMT -7)   

Hello Aurora,

I am afraid our children don't get it because they are not the one in pain nor the one who has to make the decision to put your wonderful pet to sleep.

It is a very sad and brave thing for you to do. My daughter breeds show dogs, Doberman's and Boston Terriers.  She understood and went with me along with my husband.

If your son does not understand just let it go as you are the one facing the loss of your good friend. Tell your son the decision is made and the Vet agrees with you.

Many warm Hugs for you.

Love,
Kitt


 

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Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 9/23/2008 5:48 PM (GMT -7)   

Thanks all for your kind replies.  I have made the final decision and I am not going back on it.  I explained to my son that it will be worse for the dog as he could develop a crisis or be in pain and then I might have to rush him to the emergency vet where it is cold and sterile.  I think he finally gets it.  Both my sons and I will go to the vet next Tues. and let him go to his heaven.  I think it is fitting to allow a dog to pass on with dignity.  So I will probably be on next Tues night crying my eyes out but as has been said grief is the price you pay for love.

Aurora


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/24/2008 6:28 AM (GMT -7)   

Aurora,

This is the place to come to cry or to laugh, to share and to find support.

The members of HW are so caring.  They helped me through losing my wonderful dog.

Yes dignity is important and I am glad your sons will be with you.

I will be praying for you.
Hugs

Kitt


Bailey2008
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 33
   Posted 9/24/2008 9:44 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Aurora,
I'm new here. My heart goes out to you & your children. I've never been blessed to be able to have children, so my pets have always filled that void. Losing any os then through the years has been devastating. Only time can heal such a loss, but I have found it best to adopt another asap. A new one can never take the place of the one's we lose, but having another one to care for does help! Actually, I think God puts our furry devoted friends in our lives to care for us. I'm SO sorry for what you & the kids are going through! I lost a et year old Pomeranian, Chelsea, this past March. I tought I'd never stop crying & felt SO empty. I literally felt as though my heart would break! I now have another puppy, Bailey. He's 8 mo. old & has brought joy back into my life. I still miss Chelsea but Bailey has helped tremendously. My thoughts & prayers will be with you. It's okay to cry. This is a VERY hard choice to have to make, but I know you don't want your friend to suffer.
Willow

Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 9/24/2008 2:41 PM (GMT -7)   

Thanks Bailey for your kind words and comfort.  This is the right thing to do and my sons do understand.  They are dealing with so much right now as their Grandma is critically ill.  My dog is almost 17 yrs old and we have given him a wonderful life.  I do have another poodle so I will still have companionship from a dog.  Thanks for caring and I too am sorry that you had to lose a beloved pet but I'm glad you found a new one.

Aurora


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40581
   Posted 9/24/2008 3:43 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Aurora,

Just wanted to remind you that we are here for you as you go through this difficult time.

Keep us posted.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


enWayen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 9/26/2008 9:09 AM (GMT -7)   
Heej Aurora,

As you already said, maybe now times are hard, but one day you will look back towards this period and realize that it was the best thing you could have done. I can't understand how hard this decision could be, but I am proud that you have the strength to make it.

Take care Aurora!
Erik
Acceptance is the key

Existential depression and Insecurity

Try to keep smiling! :)

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