Therapist thinks I am depressed

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Tapestryloom
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 169
   Posted 9/27/2008 7:36 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi folks,
First of all I want to say that I am a very resiliant person. I have had a good life so far. Some major struggles, here and there, but I have always come out okay. I was recently dx. with fibromyalgia and I have wondered if there isn't some emotional componant to this.
 
Briefly, I just want to say that I am under a lot of stress. I have 4 children. One is visually impaired at the age of 4 and has had 14 eye surgeries. My husband and I do not get along anymore and sometimes fight. He threatened divorce the other day in front of my oldest dd and she got sick and threw up. She is a dd from a previous marriage.
 
The worst part is taking care of my little ones. It is extremely stressful to get them fed, dressed, out the door to some appt. on time, etc. I am finding that I am losing my patience. I don't ever seem to get a break from the care and then I feel guilty for not playing with them and enjoying them. My friend (who i talk to almost daily) says I'm a good mother and doing great under the circumstances. I feel isolated, I don't have many friends (I moved here 5 years ago) and after quiting my job to stay at home I'm just miserable and can't seem to get anywhere.
 
Then there is the fibro pain. My shoulder is killing me. Today I went out and bought Capsesin and used it. I have aches everywhere. And brain fog to boot!
 
Every day I am faced with dishes, laundry, diapers, tantrums, bored children. etc. And to top it off my dh is a neatfreak and says I'm "useless" because I didn't have the inclination or energy to do any cleaning or cooking (I cook 90% of the time if not more).
Anyway, thankyou for letting me come here and vent. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Oh and I was told by my therapist to find a psychiatrist who could prescribe an anti-depressant for me. I am nursing my child but he should be weaned in another month
Carolyn
I am a mother to 4 children; James 11 mo.'s, Davey 2 1/2 yrs,
Dana 4 1/2yrs, and Anne 9 yrs.  I am currently studying to become a natural childbirth educator.... and just trying to figure out where my priorities are right now.


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/28/2008 3:06 AM (GMT -7)   

Tapestry

Good Morning and Welcome to HealingWell.  I am so sorry you have run into a big old bump in the road.  They really are not fun, I know how you feel.  I raised 4 children too. turn

I think you need some scheduled "me" time just for you.  Plan some time to just be alone, read a book, take a nap, take a nice warm bath with scented candles.  Whatever you like to do. yeah You are a good Mom with a very busy life and Fibro is very painful so yes it certainly could cause you to feel depressed about the new dx you have receved.

I am glad you have a friend to talk with everyday and now you have us to talk to and let out all those feelings you are holding inside.  We are here and venting is good for the soul.

Try to stay in the moment and let go of the "stinkin thinkin" thoughts that you are a bad Mom.

Write a list of all the good things you do everyday.  I know you have many........... cool

Again a warm welcome.

Kitt


 

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Tapestryloom
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 169
   Posted 9/28/2008 7:39 AM (GMT -7)   
Kitt,
Thanks. My therapist told me that I have to realize just how difficult my life is and to give myself a break for all that I do and do well.

I really want to get to the root of this because my children are so important to me. In a blink of an eye they will be grown and I will miss this time with them. I don't want to "blow it" with them.
Carolyn
I am a mother to 4 children; James 11 mo.'s, Davey 2 1/2 yrs,
Dana 4 1/2yrs, and Anne 9 yrs.  I am currently studying to become a natural childbirth educator.... and just trying to figure out where my priorities are right now.


djdaz_1985
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 9/28/2008 11:40 AM (GMT -7)   
Hiya,

I think you have a great attitude to the whole senario and I think you will do really well in sorting it as I think you sound like a very driven / motivated person. What I would say to you is that perhaps the problems you are having with you husband at the moment are not helping. It will be affecting the kids as well which makes things more difficult because kids are really perceptive. Im glad you are seeing a therapist and that you seem to be making some progress.

Please keep talking to us. Communication is a wonderful healer.

Darren
Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
 
"A gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if your not enough without it, you will never be enough with it." - Irvine Blitzer (John Candy) in Cool Runnings
 
Moderator - Epilepsy Forum
Co-Moderator - Depression Forum
 
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getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 9/28/2008 3:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Carolyn,

I too have fibromyalgia. I also moderate the fibro forum, so I am sure that we have talked at one time or another. But I would love to welcome you to the depression forum.

It is so hard dealing with fibromyalgia, then to add the children and your husband onto that. I actually got mad when you said that he considered you 'useless'. You are not. I am lucky if I can get the dishes done every day. So you are doing a lot!!!

I do agree that you need to pat yourself on the back and have some time for yourself. It will get you farther in the long run. Just with the fibro, I find myself neglecting myself. So I know with all you have to do, you surely aren't taking the time to self nurture. That is so important for you right now.

I am glad that you are going to therapy, and I think a psychiatrist is a good idea. I see a psychiatrist and a psychologist also. It works out well. I am concerned about your daughter also. If she threw up over hearing the word divorce, she could be very insecure right now. And very frightened. So you might want to consider having her get somebody that she can talk to also. It is really important, it sounds like she is at a delicate age right now and it scares me to think how much of a toll this could put on her.

Your husband doesn't sound very compassionate. Has he ever read any information on fibromyalgia? It might be time for some education for him. You need him to understand what you are going through.

In the meantime, keep posting. We are here for you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Tapestryloom
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 169
   Posted 9/28/2008 6:55 PM (GMT -7)   
Karen, Oh thanks for that insight. My dd is in therapy and was seeing the one in school too. When I phoned my therapist she gave me 4 tasks to do
1. Make an appt. with our family therapist (couples therapist)
2. Get names of Psychiatrists
3. Prepare for 4 day teaher workshop. See my siggy.
4. Try to really relax and destress.
She was worried that I was feeling miserable and not physically grounded. Let me give you a little sample so that I can illustrate this better.
I wake up. Husband takes care of morning diaper changes and breakfast and goes off to work. I have this terrible shoulder pain which is aggravated by carrying 11 mo. old I wait for opportunity to take hot shower, after 11 mo. old goes down for am nap. I lock br door and say to kids that I am taking a shower. I start shower and enjoy the heat for about 2 minutes before 4 yr. old knocks on door. I climb out of shower and see that baby has woken from banging. I shut door after saying to her that she woke the baby. Bring baby, who is crying now into bathroom to crawl around while I take abrev. shower. I throw fists in air and explaim "Mom never gets a break" and "stress" "stress" that's all I get. So basically that's it. I just am at the end of my rope
Tonite after going to an exposition with family I accidentally slammed my index finger in the van door. Now I have to deal with this.
Thank you thank you for listening to me vent. Yes, having fibro and depression is tough. I am going to be fine I know. Just going to take a while
Carolyn
I am a mother to 4 children; James 11 mo.'s, Davey 2 1/2 yrs,
Dana 4 1/2yrs, and Anne 9 yrs.  I am currently studying to become a natural childbirth educator.... and just trying to figure out where my priorities are right now.


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 9/28/2008 8:31 PM (GMT -7)   
Try to take these things one event at a time. As you know I am sure, stress makes the fibro worse. So I really think some meditation would be in order. Just to free your mind up a little. And one day at a time.

I am sorry that you slammed your finger. I did that a couple of years ago and it turned all purple, boy did that hurt too.

Keep up the good work, you are doing a wonderful job with everything. I am glad that you are getting into the teaching. You will get so much gratification out of that.

Best wishes for a wonderful day.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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