It bothers me when you confide in someone about how you are feeling and they respond with the remark "there's always someone out there who's worse off then you". How is that supposed to make us feel better? The only thing that does is make me feel guilty about feeling the way I feel.
My mother used to tell me "If you're feeling depressed, get up, get busy and do something. You won't have time to brood."
I know she was trying to help, and that was the belief at the time, but like any person with clinical depression, I knew it wasn't the answer for me. Thirty years later, I finally gave in and started on antidepressants. An amazingly low dose of Zoloft changed my whole life and attitude.
My favorite is response is, " I can't be around sad people, it is to depressing" Boy that makes you feel cared about and you learn to just shut up quickly. So when someone asks how are you, the pat answer is "I am fine"
"The tears of a clown" Well clowns, we have to validate our own feelings and kick the insensitive remarks to the curb. We are important and our disorders are painful and sad yet we often fight a lonely battle because we don't look sick.
So to each of you I say, blow off the hurtful remarks and come here where everyone knows your name.
Big hugs to allKitt
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression& GERD Forums*~*
It makes since. But in those really low times, the little tid-bits of advice ppl spout out can be as welcome as another whole in the head.
I just hate it when ppl who haven't got a clue, give advise like they have all the answers.
Sorry for sounding angry it isn't intended to sound that way, I've just been having a tough time lately.
Female, 23, Ulcerative colitis (pancolitis) since 1999; GERD; gastritis; osteopenia in femur head & lumbar spine from long term prednisone use...Current Meds: Lexapro 10mg, Sulfasalizine 3000mg/day
I have been told I wear my feelings on my sleeve which always made me feel self concious and also I let my feelings get hurt. Well I have excepted that now. It is who I am. I turn the hurt feelings around quickly and I guess if you can read my emotions on the sleeve of my shirt then so be it but your can't read my mind.
So I want to encourage each of you to love yourself and know we are all members of the same family.
"What progress, you ask, have I made? I have begun to be a friend to myself."Hecato, Greek philosopher
Hugs to All,
I hope you didn't think I was referring to you when I was saying:
"I just hate it when ppl who haven't got a clue, give advise like they have all the answers."
I completely agree with you. I do appreciate the kind thoughts. I am feeling better today.
I don't know about anybody else, but if I forget to take my meds it doesn't take long before my attitude goes straight down hill and that's what has been happening lately.
I just need to get settled into this new routine and hopefully the rest will fall back into place.
P.S. I just wanted to say also........Welcome to the Healingwell forums Angie74.
Post Edited (JohnD) : 10/2/2008 4:10:42 AM (GMT-6)
John, your feelings are your feelings and there is no right way or wrong way to feel. When you are in pain you are suffering and being told to snap out of it or keep busy just doesn't work. I have had extreme problems with lonliness in the past and I do have a fair number of friends but when I am down there is no snapping out of it. I just avoid those people who can't understand. You need to do whatever it is that feels right to you and helps you. I often post on here when i'm down and get replies back. It helps to verbalize your feelings. Just remember there are so many people on this forum who care and have been through rough times and we all help each other when we can. And I hope you will feel that you can post what you are thinking and know that no one will be judging you. We just want to help. You have found a really great place to come and talk to people and there will always be someone to answer your posts. Try to ignore those who say the wrong things and do try to take good care of yourself.