Im so confused I dont know whats wrong with me I do silly things like take lots of tablets and do nasty tings to my partner like telling him to leave and telling him I hate him and every time we argue I finnish with him, my boyfriend doesnt trust me and I dont know why I try to tell him how much I love him but I dont think he believes me I would never cheat him i dont want anyone else, infact I know he has been with other people and this really hurts me I dont think he understands that.
Im not attention seeking but thats what it feels like and that makes me feel like a bad person.
To help you understand me better ill tell you a bit about
how my lifes been
When I was 7 my parents split up my mum was an alcoholic whom I stayd with and my dad was so immature i never got told off when i was younger i got away with anything and sometimes i used to do things to get in trouble but i never would.
I started not going to school when I was 15 I moved in with my dad growing up my friends were older people and i never had a real boyfriend they just used me!
i am now 20 and 3 months ago I had a gorgeous baby boy whom I love very much to my boyfriend who I have been with for one year now, and I feel like everything that has happend in my past is haunting me I have nightmares about
things I used to do when I was on drugs and I feel like I dont deserve a good life, this makes me not trust my boyfriend why would he want me being the kind of person I am, in the last three months i have tried to overdose and I have been cuttin myself and now I drink alot and when I do I got phyco, shouting at my boyfriend saying I dont trust him and he should just go be with a normal girl who he really wants I tell him I no he doesnt want me, alough I only say these things to him when im drunk I think them all the time and this gets me down I dont no how to be normal and stop feeling like this!
I wish I had someone with me 24/7 to tell me the right things to say and do as I feel like I know what is real or right anymore, I am paranoid, scared of everything I hardly sleep, dont eat much now and i just dont like myself the way I act or look or even dress please someone help me!
Reason for edit:
I have just taken a couple of sections out of your post as we cannot allow the discussion of illegal activities on the site. Darren
Post Edited By Moderator (djdaz_1985) : 10/6/2008 3:49:28 AM (GMT-6)