Wish there was an easy answer

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

ediekristen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 1366
   Posted 10/6/2008 1:22 PM (GMT -7)   

I went to my company picnic on Saturday. It would have been so much fun... I mean, I had a little fun while I was there, and everyone was glad I showed up. This was a huge thing for me- I never go to social functions by myself!!

 

My boyfriend and I have been fighting a lot, as I mentioned awhile ago, and things haven't changed much. I told him that I want to be able to do things by myself and have friends once in awhile, he thinks I am just cheating on him. So when I told him about the picnic he said I wasn't allowed to go... OR he could go with me but that would undoubtedly end bad.

 

See, the person he thinks I'm cheating on him with happens to be a guy from my work. We are just friends, and I just like talking to him because he actually listens and whatever but anyway. So he knows the guy's name and it would be just a matter of time before someone said it out loud and my boyfriend would start something because that's what he's been wanting to do. Plus he would sit there the whole time, grouchy, not talking, and texting his Iowa friends on the phone. So I didn't really want him to go for obvious reasons. I didn't feel like it was wrong of me to ask to go to a work related function, and moreover I didn't feel like I should HAVE to ask and have permission.  mad  

 

So I wake him up and say "I'm going to stop by my parents and then I'm going to the picnic, okay?" and he just said "Okay, bye" Needless to say I was a little shocked and thought it would be a blow out fight, so I was like "Are you sure you're okay with it? You're not going to be mad?" He just rolled over and said whatever, just go. I knew that it was going to be a problem but I was just fed up so I left.

 

Anyway, I'm at the picnic maybe 30 minutes and he starts calling my phone. FREAKING out. Like, "I told you that you weren't allowed to go and if you left I wouldn't be here when you got back" I just couldn't believe it. I was like "You can't tell me I'm not ALLOWED to do something, that's not how things work" and he just kept saying that I'm a lying [expletive] and that I don't deserve trust and that I have to get up right now and get in the car and come home. Of course I just said there was no way I was leaving, I was trying to have fun and get to know my coworkers and I'm not going to put up with him treating me like he's my master.

Well it didn't stop, and he kept calling and texting and making absurd threats like he was going to smash or sell everything in the house and go back to Iowa, or he was just going to put a steak knife through his throat, or whatever. At one point I silenced my phone to try to ignore him and he called me 25 times in a row. I was so embarrassed and angry and felt like an idiot for sitting on my cell arguing with my boyfriend while people are trying to get me to go swimming and have fun. So I just left. I got home and he yelled some more, then I took him to work and by the time he got home it was almost like nothing happened. confused

 

To be perfectly honest, I really do believe that he is bipolar, although he is so against psychiatry and drugs for mental health that there would be no way to find out/treat it. I have to hide my Lexapro at work because he said he’d flush it down the toilet if he ever found it again.

Part of me doesn’t think there’s any way this could work and that I’d be happier if we just called it quits, but the other part of me is scared. I feel bad that I moved him and all of his, our, things to Florida and he’d have no way to get it back to Iowa. My parents paid like $2000 for a moving van to get our stuff back here, and there's no way we could come up with that to move him back to Iowa, nor would his parents ever offer to help. And if he did go back he might not have a place to stay. I mean, he probably would but I don't know. I guess I just feel bad and worry what would happen to him if we broke up and I feel like I’m stuck.


He keeps saying this is all my fault and I always ruin everything and I’m never going to be happy and that I’m an evil person. You know when someone says something enough times, it really starts to feel true.

 

 


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40602
   Posted 10/6/2008 2:37 PM (GMT -7)   
You are so not an evil person and you didn't ruin everything. He just wants you to feel guilty. If he has no way to move his stuff back, that is his problem. I don't think you know it but I think that you have control in that department. You are the one with the house, the car and the job. So you are in control.

I am concerned though if he is manipulating you by threatening to hurt himself. Even if he were to do it, that wouldn't be your fault. You can't control his actions. He is very insecure of you, I think that you can see that.

I would take it one day at a time. Are you able to talk to a counselor about all of this. I think that you should give it a try. You need the suppport right now. Are you still friends with the guy from work? Be careful there, don't prove your bf right.

Best wishes to you,
hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 10/6/2008 2:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey there sweety.
 
I think you need to tell this controlling person you are with that "He is not the one for you"  If he needs to move back to where ever he owns that problem.  You should just turn off your cell phone when you go out and try to live a normal life.
This situation is not going to change until YOU make it change. Remember ou cannot change him, you can only change yourself.

If your partner insists on controlling you, you can offer two choices.

You can reassure him  that he is  loved, that you are loyal, but you cannot live with his jealousy, or his insistence that you do things his way, and he  can either loosen up, or find the front door You do not have to jump through hoops for anyone, and controlling people  are very difficult to live with.

They use all ploys to get their own way, they are manipulative, and if it is starting to affect your own self-esteem and happiness, then clearly this is a relationship you can do without. If your partner  does not seek help and life continues to be one of control over you, then it is a relationship going nowhere and headed for disaster.

This is just my 2 cents for today. :-)

I wish you peace and happiness.

Kitt


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


ediekristen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 1366
   Posted 10/6/2008 3:33 PM (GMT -7)   

Thanks for your replies ladies, you always have the best advice.
I definitely do feel that he is manipulative; funny he says that I'm the one who is. I told him he was just laying on a guilt trip to get me to do what he wants and he said "Don't even use the term guilt trip, you should feel guilty for hurting me like this" then he sent me a text that said, and I quote,
"I am not going to forgive you for this. You can't keep your word and you think that you can do whatever you want in a relationship with me but that isn't how it is going to work. You've cheated on me less than a month ago and you have done nothing to make me happy. You are ruining an almost 4 year relationship for a stupid picnic. You are the most heartless person I've ever met in my life."
Keep in mind I never cheated on him but he's convinced and it seems there's no changing his mind. He tried to make it sound so trivial and stupid, like it was "just" a picnic and that it would have been all okay if I had just stayed home, but that's the whole point! It's not just the picnic, it's the whole principal, and if I didn't go I would have just been giving in to what he wants and I told him I was putting my foot down and doing something for me for a change. Then of course he made me feel like I was being selfish because I should be trying to work on our relationship and "not out having fun with friends".

I have thought about seeing a counselor and was looking in to finding one, preferably near my work... Naturally, he is opposed to the idea and won't "let" me go to one so there would be the issue of thinking of reasons to be gone for an appointment. rolleyes

I really wish I had just turned my phone off and had fun because it's not like it would have made a difference. But then, you know, hindsight is always 20/20.


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40602
   Posted 10/6/2008 4:05 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Ediekristen,

I am so glad that you are thinking about counseling, you really do need the extra support. You have done nothing wrong and you have not ruined the relationship. He is acting like a big baby because he wasn't able to control you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


ediekristen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 1366
   Posted 10/6/2008 4:37 PM (GMT -7)   
It's crazy, I looked up "controlling boyfriend" on Yahoo and was reading some other accounts and I swear I could have written the same thing. It made me feel kind of sick actually. It's like when you know something deep down and then all of a sudden it's right in your face like "HEY! Don't you see what's going on!?!" and you're like Ohhhh... Crap.

It's knowing how to take that next step that's the hardest part. Every time he threatens to leave, I don't try to stop him, and I almost want to say "Okay go, here let me help you pack" but I just don't say anything, and he's still here...

Female, 23, Ulcerative colitis (pancolitis) since 1999; GERD; gastritis; osteopenia in femur head & lumbar spine from long term prednisone use...

Current Meds:
Lexapro 10mg, Sulfasalizine 3000mg/day

 
 


ediekristen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 1366
   Posted 10/7/2008 11:49 AM (GMT -7)   
arrggghhhh He is just driving me CRAZY with this. I don't even know what to think!
Last night he woke me up at some ungodly hour, came to bed and was all like "I don't think we're working, I don't know if I love you anymore, blah blah blah blah" I don't even remember half the conversation anymore because I was half asleep. He kept talking about how I'm not the same person anymore and he is going to go stay with his dad for awhile and he can't even sleep in the same bed as me anymore.. whatever... And then this morning he's mad at me because I got up early and wouldn't come back to bed with him. What the heck!? Make up your mind! And now he's all acting nice and saying I love you. It's like night and day.

This morning he even got mad at me for my choice of underwear, because I put on this black lacy thong that happens to be extremely comfortable, and he's like "What do you need to be wearing lingerie to work for?!" So I just took them off and finished getting ready and didn't talk to him all morning practically.

Sheesh. And guys think we girls are hard to figure out. I feel like my stomach is one big ulcer.

Female, 23, Ulcerative colitis (pancolitis) since 1999; GERD; gastritis; osteopenia in femur head & lumbar spine from long term prednisone use...

Current Meds:
Lexapro 10mg, Sulfasalizine 3000mg/day

 
 


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40602
   Posted 10/7/2008 3:56 PM (GMT -7)   
It sounds like you are seeing things for what they really are, and I am sure that is hard. Now it is up to you, the ball is in your court so to speak. It is up to you whether you want to continue living this way. I bet that once he realizes that you aren't going to play that game anymore, he will change his tune. It sounds like he already is.

I hope that everything works out for you. One day at a time. No hastey decisions.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


ediekristen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 1366
   Posted 10/7/2008 4:35 PM (GMT -7)   
It's funny, he just said the same thing to me.
He called his dad and I guess he's going to go down to the keys to stay with him. He said he's leaving this weekend. He keeps saying it's up to me whether he stays or goes and I don't know how to answer. I think I know what the right answer is but it is really hard adn scary and it hurts.

Female, 23, Ulcerative colitis (pancolitis) since 1999; GERD; gastritis; osteopenia in femur head & lumbar spine from long term prednisone use...

Current Meds:
Lexapro 10mg, Sulfasalizine 3000mg/day

 
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 10/7/2008 4:48 PM (GMT -7)   

ediekristen

So he is going to the Keys and you have to say it is ok or not.  Nope, this is his decision.  I guess I would just tell him if he wants to go you will honor his decision.  Do not be put in the position of being his whipping boy. He really seems to have major issues and the strain on your relationship is falling on you.

Think about what is best for you.  My first husband was like this and it was the hardest 7 years of my life, all the tears and the drama from him.  I was accused of cheating too.  We had 3 children, who had time to cheat and I worked evenings. I finally cracked under the strained and made my decision.

I will pray that you will go to counseling and it will help you with understanding what is going on.

Take care,

Kitt


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Confusedli
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 10/8/2008 2:55 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi EdieKristen,

It sounds to me like your relationship is inevitably going to come to an end, so in all honest I would say do drag it out any longer than you have to. The longer things drag on the harder it is to move forwards.
Confusedli
 
"The Optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious of the rose."
 
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain"


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 10/8/2008 6:02 AM (GMT -7)   

ediekristen,

Good Morning,  I hope you have a good day today.  Confused has a valid point.  Let yourself off the hook and do not let anyone else continue to try to control you.

The anxiety of your situation must be overwhelming.

((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))

Kitt


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40602
   Posted 10/8/2008 6:20 AM (GMT -7)   
Ediekristen,

Maybe the time apart will do you good. It isn't all or nothing. He needs to get a job and work. You have been the provider for a long time. I think going to stay with his dad will be good for both of you. Though I know that it is hard to be apart. But he has to learn to be a man.

Like was said above, don't let him make you the bad guy. Tell him it is up to him, encourage him to go if you want to. Tell him, that once he gets his life in order, you might think of coming down. Something like that. That way you can see what it is like to have some freedom. He is too controlling. You might be lonesome at first, but that goes away. Once you find things that you like to do. Such as doing things with your work friends. Who knows, maybe you and that guy at work will get to know eachother. LIfe is full of suprises....

Best wishes for a wonderful day,
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


ediekristen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 1366
   Posted 10/8/2008 12:08 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey everyone. Just thought I'd post an update.

I am still just as confused as before. I went home last night and we talked, and ended up deciding that he wasn't leaving... It's hard to explain what happened. When I was at work it was easier to say "I'm not happy and you're not happy and maybe it'd be better if you left" But when I was sitting face to face with him it was so hard. I kept thinking that I didn't know what I wanted but even after we talked I didn't feel like "Okay, maybe this can work" it was more like I just didn't know what else to do. He made me feel like I was horrible for not at least wanting to try, but I feel like I HAVE been trying and nothing I will do will be good enough. But what if I haven't? What if it could be alright and it is my fault that it's not?

It's just so hard to look someone in the face when they're saying "I love you and I can't imagine life without you" and tell them you want them to leave.

Female, 23, Ulcerative colitis (pancolitis) since 1999; GERD; gastritis; osteopenia in femur head & lumbar spine from long term prednisone use...

Current Meds:
Lexapro 10mg, Sulfasalizine 3000mg/day

 
 


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40602
   Posted 10/8/2008 12:26 PM (GMT -7)   
If you are having this much mixed emotions, I would suggest just taking things one day at a time. It sounds as if you really do care about him, or else you wouldn't be so confused.

I remember going through things like this with my first husband. We had a decent relationship for 23 years until he died of cancer in 2000. So I can't say it was all bad, though he was like yours, he was very controlling and posessive. But everything worked out the way that it should. Many times I didn't know what to do, and he would blame me and I felt guilty. Just don't beat yourself up over it, you have nothing to feel guilty over. Take it one day at a time, take care of yourself, do what is important to you. Keep working, it sounds like you really like your job. There is nothing wrong with talking to that guy at work. Especially if it makes you feel good. If it goes any further, then you might want to think some more about who you want to be with. But don't lie about it, that will just make you feel worse. Be careful. I am starting to sound like your mother LOL...

Do what you feel is right in your heart.

You will be fine and everything will work out.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


ediekristen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 1366
   Posted 10/8/2008 2:54 PM (GMT -7)   
"I am starting to sound like your mother LOL..."

It's funny you should say that.. I talked to my mom today and got quite the shock. I told her that he wasn't leaving and she almost sounded disappointed! She said that he's not someone she can see me being with for the rest of my life and that we're too different, and she can tell I'm not as happy anymore. And I only see her once a week and never when we're fighting! So that to me really said something. I didn't quite expect her to say that though.

What's scary is my mom has ALWAYS, and I mean always, been right on her judgements. When she said "I don't like them" or "That girl is trouble" I always ended up looking back and thinking darn, I should've listened to her.


But yeah, I do really like my job. I've never worked somewhere where I actually liked everyone and talked to people the way I do here... I've always been really socially anxious and I never feel comfortable with people, but everyone here made me feel like I fit in the first week. And the job itself is cool, I even get to watch surgeries from time to time if it's not busy. And he actually had the nerve to say he wanted me to transfer when this all started, or that he was going to call my boss and tell her "what was going on". I know he's all talk in that aspect but that made me furious. I just told him if it had to be between us or the job, I'd pick the job because I wouldn't want to be with someone that would want to make me lose a job I really love over a stupid jealousy issue. Obviously he didn't make me choose, but in a way he kind of did.

Female, 23, Ulcerative colitis (pancolitis) since 1999; GERD; gastritis; osteopenia in femur head & lumbar spine from long term prednisone use...

Current Meds:
Lexapro 10mg, Sulfasalizine 3000mg/day

 
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 10/8/2008 4:33 PM (GMT -7)   

Good Evening,

Your Mom sounds wise and gentle.  Have you thought of sitting down and talking this through with her. As you have her to talk to take advantage of the blessing.  You don't have to agree with her but do hear her out. She loves you unconditionally.

I wish you peace.

Kitt


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


mom9mom
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 489
   Posted 10/9/2008 11:19 PM (GMT -7)   
eyes   eyes eyes ediekristen This is something only you can decide but I want you to think about some thing before you decide.Do you want to be the one that always takes the blame even when you did nothing, or when he is the one that has done something wrong but its your failt because some how you made him.He sounds like one of those people that have to blame everyone else and never themself.If he blames you for something that never happened what would happen if you made a mistake in the future would he ever be able to forgive you or would he hold it over your head for the rest of your life?Always remember that you are responsable for your mental well being not his and nothing you do can make him better that is something only he can take care of.Always take care of yourself first. Good luck.
Lost half of my small intestine, Nerve damage to right leg,part of my right hip bone removed,hernia,infection in my back called discites,and depression


ediekristen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 1366
   Posted 10/10/2008 4:07 PM (GMT -7)   

Well, yesterday was just crazy, I had to come here and share.

My good friend Natalie (whom I've blown off for the past three months because I haven't been allowed to hang out with her) called me yesterday morning and asked if we could please hang out. She was having some family troubles, and she knew I am having troubles, so she wanted to get some dinner and talk. So I agreed. I was sick of constantly bailing on her and she's one of my only friends so I don't want to lose her.

Anyway, when I was leaving for work, my boyfriend was still sleeping so I just said goodbye and didn't bring it up, because last time I brought up something about me going out after work while he was sleeping he got mad at me. Well when he called me around noon, I told him my plan and he freaked out on me. He was mad that I was going to spend time with her and not him and said that he didn't care what she was going through, we didn't "need other people in our lives" right now and that I wasn't allowed to go. I am just fed up at this point so I said "I'm not asking your permission, I'm going out with Natalie and that's it." We went over and over all sorts of drama, he was saying that I was a horrible person and that I wasn't doing anything to make him happy and I was just trying to push him away.

So then I said that I give up, I don't want to be in this relationship anymore and that I'm not happy and it's over. This is when he went from mad to upset. Like, he sent me text after text saying "Please don't do this to me, how could you give up on me so quickly? I love you more than anything I can't live without you" etc etc... He kept calling and begging me to come home after work so we could talk about this, and after a bit I just asked him to leave me alone and I shut my phone off.

Well Natalie came and picked me up at work at 6pm since she was down the road, and I just left my car there. We went out to Olive Garden and I had some chicken alfredo that was amazing and lots of breadsticks and we had a really great conversation. She had been in an almost identical relationship to mine, everything she was saying I was like "OH MY GOSH, me too!!!" except her boyfriend was physically abusive as well. It was just really nice to connect with her. After dinner we sat down at the beach for a short while and talked and it was nice, but then I knew I had to head home.

So she drove me back to my work, and my car wasn’t there!!! shocked At first I got a little nervous, but then I knew what had happened because it wouldn’t have gotten towed from the hospital, there was no reason for it… So I turn my phone on and call him and he’s like “I was walking the dog and we just kept walking and walking and then when I realized how far I had gone, I figured it would be better to just get the car and drive her home.” Mind you, this is an 8 MILE walk. The way he talked later though was that really, he came and took the car so that whoever was driving me would have to take me home, so if I was with another guy, the guy would have to drop me off and David was sitting outside waiting to see who it was. He said he was really sorry and felt like an idiot and was “glad that he was wrong because it showed he could trust me” but not entirely.
Oh also, when I turned my phone on I instantly got calls from my parents and sister because apparently he had called them and said I didn't come home and he didn't know where I was, and my phone was off so they were all freaked out and worried, when there was no reason because he KNEW where I was.

I was just in disbelief. So I’m like “This is over I’m done” and he begged and pleaded and cried and asked me not to leave him and please give him another chance and he loves me more than anything in the world… And it was so hard to look him in the eyes and say “I don’t want you here” while he was saying all these things, and I cried and it hurt but at the same time, it didn’t hurt in the way that it would have before… I didn’t have that deep feeling in my heart that I wanted to be with him, it just felt over. I mean, it still feels hard to let go but... not like the way it did when he was moving away to Iowa, and then I knew it was temporary but it felt like my heart was shattering in a million pieces... Now, I just feel.. numb.

Tonight he wants to take me to dinner and he swears he will change (not by letting me go out and do things, can’t trust me that much yet rolleyes  ) but he says wants to try and communicate better and make me happy and he said he wants to marry me if we get through this and have kids with me. He's convinced that things will get better and that I'm just not wanting to try when I say it won't. I just feel like it’s all just another ploy, another manipulation to keep from losing me and having to be alone, and even when he basically asked me to marry him, all I could do was cry because even those words didn’t make me feel anything inside, except weakness.

  cry

 


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40602
   Posted 10/10/2008 6:32 PM (GMT -7)   
I think that you are doing what you feel in your heart is the right thing. I think it will be good for you to experience freedom. This will help reinforce your decision. You will feel more at peace and alive. You deserve to be happy.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


lovemybed
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 10/10/2008 8:39 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello,
I'm new here but I was reading your post and I started to wonder if you were dating my ex-husband. lol. My ex was the exact same way. Mine asked me to marry him under the same circumstances, i was trying to get out, then I felt sorry for him and I agreed to marry him--stupid--anyways we had children and things NEVER got better. Really they got worse because he thought he then owned me. Well when I finally left I saw a counsler and got an understanding of things. I found out that he didn't want me to work because he didn't want me to have money to leave him, he didn't want me to be close to my family(which I always have been and always will be) because then I had other peoples opinions about our relationship and he always degraded me because he wanted to tear me down and build me up the way he wanted me to be. I just know that people who are like that it is really hard to change, and expecially without professional help. Just keep in mind that things can always go to another level, my ex tried to hire someone to get me to a deserted area after I had left him. Once when I left and then went back he told me if I ever left him again they would never find my body.
So you need to always look at the fine print instead of just glancing at whats in front of you. Just be careful and to be on the safe side keep a journal at work of his actions or talk to family and let them know what is going on. I'm not trying to scare you, but since I have been there done it I know how things can change so fast. People at work can also be an excellent resource of support.
Take care and I hope things get better for you and remember you don't need to live a life that makes you unhappy, you only have one life live it to the fullest.
 
 depression/panic attacks/anxiety attacks/eating disorder


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40602
   Posted 10/11/2008 5:19 AM (GMT -7)   
I think that Lovemybed gave you some very good advice, something to think about. You never can tell what lengths a posessive man will go to when feeling threatened. So do be careful. And pay attention to what he is doing and saying.

Chances are that he may never get that way. But who knows what will happen when pushed into a corner.

I hope that you are having a great day today.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Saturday, December 10, 2016 5:58 AM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,735,805 posts in 301,336 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151439 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, owillie.
230 Guest(s), 6 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
Rebel_runner, Loutucky, mrs. george, U B Tough, dbwilco, Steve n Dallas


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer