First of all, Welcome to HealingWell. I am glad you found us. I am so sorry about your pet and your good friend.
Grief is a normal and healthy response to loss, not an illness. Its symptoms are painful, but they serve an adaptive purpose. Most grief runs its course with the support of your friends/family. But sometimes grief can trigger depression .
When grief triggers depression, the sadness can be unrelenting and overwhelming. Some people describe it as “living in a black hole” or having a feeling of impending doom. Even when participating in activities you used to enjoy, you feel as if you are just “going through the motions.” You may also feel numb, lifeless and empty.
I would like to encourage you continuing with your counseling to help you through this painful time. One on one counseling can help you understand your feelings as well as teach you skills to cope with your pain.
Gentle Hugs to you
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression& GERD Forums*~*
I am so sorry you have to go through this. My son died at age 21 in a car crash in August 1990. Our youngest son had to leave for his first year of college the end of August and he struggled very hard. Changed his major and came home as often as he could to be there for me. The beginning of a new chapter of his life turned sad instead of exciting. His college was 250 miles from home.
Well, he made it through that first year and went on to do excellent. He joined a lot of community service groups and I believe in my heart he did that to honor his brother's life.
I was very proud to be in the audience the night he was chosen Homecoming King at NDSU. In his speech he thanked his Mom. I cried of course.
I would love to see you not rely on drinking and anger to get you through this. I do not believe your friend would want to see you devestated but rather to see you understand that he was very ill and in great pain and he did not mean to make others so sad, He just did not know.
Hi Kamarate, I had to put my dog to sleep a week ago and I know what pain it is to go through. My sons and I were in the room when the vet gave him the shot. He just went peacefully to sleep. We felt it was necessary for us to be in the room with our dog to have him know we were with him in life and in passing. It was an act of kindness. I am still trying to recover but it does get better. I am also so very sorry about your friend. It is such a tragedy. Right now the best thing you can do is be a good friend to his girlfriend. You don't even have to say much - just being there for her and holding her hand or hugging her will help. As Karen said and I have said many times before, time is the healer of all wounds. I know it seems like time is standing still right now but it will pass and you will go on to get better. In the meantime, try to take very good care of yourself. Counseling can help you or even a grief support group if there is one where you are. Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing. The people on this forum are very caring and someone is always here to answer your posts.
I was stuck in time when my son died and I could not understand how the rest of the world kept spinning. I cried my heart out for him, for me and because I was so afraid that people would forget him.
I finally learned that the world is for the living and for those that have died, they have their own special place. I was angry but it always gave way to tears of grief. I had my sons belongings surrounding me and you do not. I clung to his letter jacket. Those things helped me see I could not stay in that place, I had to move on and remember all the wonderful family I still had.
I think your just feeling numb now and lost in the grief of losing a dear friend. The tears will come, don't try to force them. Take care my friend and know we care.