re: getting by

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catlady04240
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 10/17/2008 1:05 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Karen, I know that i have alot on my plate  but i know that I just need to learn to trust people and i know that i have trust issuues with hubby too cause of the situation we were in and i know that he doesnt trust me but i dont trust him cause of what he did in the past and that still in the back of my mind you know .I know that i am just worried that is all i know that i am getting sick again but i know that cause i have been feeling lousy but i dont say anything cause i think my hubby thinksit in my head the pain and all but its not i am so exshated soing little things and some days i dont want to do a thing. .
 as with counseli9ng goes that was ggoing well but everytime i get in the car after a session he would wantto know what i talked about and if i didnt tell him he would get angry but i think its no of his busy well i guess i will stop for now Dawn

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 10/17/2008 2:42 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Dawn,

No it isn't any of his business what you talked about in your session. But maybe you and your therapist could think of something to tell him when you come out of the office.

Living with fibromyalgia and depression is hard Dawn. Don't expect yourself to be able to do a lot every day. Some days you have to do less. Could you give your husband some literature to read about fibro and depression so he might understand more. Maybe print something off of the fibro forum. Or some other information off of the internet. It is hard for other people to understand that we are in pain all of the time.

It is so hard to have a relationship without trust. I don't know why he doesn't trust you, but it sounds like you have a reason not to trust him. If you want to continue the relationship, you might have to put that all behind you. Some people can live with it and some people can't. I guess it depends on each individual. And how much you are willing to tolerate.

Try to do something nice for yourself. Maybe take a nice walk, or a nice bath to relax. You deserve to do something nice for yourself. Take your time focusing on getting stronger, continue your counseling and come here for support. We are all here for you. Keep posting.

Hugs, Karen...
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


catlady04240
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 10/20/2008 4:56 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi karen, I know that but i alwatys managed to come up with something but he like cant you talk about this .I havent been diagnosed with fibro but do have lupus and depression and i know that he doesnt undrstand why i want to sleep alot some days and dont want to do anything,

you said something about putting it all behind me i dont know if i can do that because of th e stuff he did but i know that i need to think of my health and my daughter also yes i have one child who is 7 and she means the world to me and i dont knwo what i would do if it wasnt for her and my cat well our cat me and my daughter that is well i just find myself getting more impatient with my daughter as she wont listen to me and i dont have the eneregy to do that  stuff you know .

I guess i could get some literture on fibro and stuff for him. I was hospitalized in 2006 and i dont think he understood the depression then either cause when he came to visit i didnt want anything to do with him but i did pay attetntion tomy daughter so that i ok. but i know that it seemed to me that he was more worried about me working the me getting better you know what i mean. well i will stop here i am rambling on again sorry about that Dawn

getting by said...
Hi Dawn,

No it isn't any of his business what you talked about in your session. But maybe you and your therapist could think of something to tell him when you come out of the office.

Living with fibromyalgia and depression is hard Dawn. Don't expect yourself to be able to do a lot every day. Some days you have to do less. Could you give your husband some literature to read about fibro and depression so he might understand more. Maybe print something off of the fibro forum. Or some other information off of the internet. It is hard for other people to understand that we are in pain all of the time.

It is so hard to have a relationship without trust. I don't know why he doesn't trust you, but it sounds like you have a reason not to trust him. If you want to continue the relationship, you might have to put that all behind you. Some people can live with it and some people can't. I guess it depends on each individual. And how much you are willing to tolerate.

Try to do something nice for yourself. Maybe take a nice walk, or a nice bath to relax. You deserve to do something nice for yourself. Take your time focusing on getting stronger, continue your counseling and come here for support. We are all here for you. Keep posting.

Hugs, Karen...


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 10/21/2008 10:02 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Dawn,

You aren't rambling, you have some very good points there. Maybe you could explain to your daughter that you are sick and it is hard for you to do things at times. Hopefully she will understand, though you probably have already tried that.

I am sorry that you can't put the things he has done behind you. Has he appologized to you for what he has done? Like I say, some people can't but don't let it control your life. It is so hard when you lose trust. Some men wont even admit what they have done, even if you catch them at it. My first husband was that way. I had a hard time trusting him, but all that did was make me miserable. And paranoid.

I hope that your days get better, keep going to counseling. It sounds like it is helping you.

I am sorry that you have lupus. For some reason I was thinking that you had fibromyalgia. Though there are some similarities in the disorders. Especially being tired all of the time. Do you have a lot of pain? I get pain with fibro, but I have that under control, most of the time. I just live with it I guess.

I hope that you have a good day, keep posting and let me know how you are doing. You deserve to be happy, you are a wonderful person.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


catlady04240
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 10/21/2008 1:26 PM (GMT -7)   
i know that its hard with the pain and no i dont have a dx of fibro but it feels like i do bbut i know that he saiids he sorry but he keeps doing the same things that happened before so i dont know well i know tat i am a wonderful person. I am getting worried about the depression and the pain i think that its affecting m work and i dont want to lose this job cause i love it there and i tried my hardest to get int here too so i just dont knwo what to do well thanks Dawn

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 10/21/2008 2:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Dawn,

Just try to focus on your job then. Do what you enjoy doing. It could be that worrying about what he is doing is zapping all of your energy. It is stressful when you can't trust your partner. So for the time being maybe it is better if you don't think about that. Just go to your work and enjoy it. Save all of your energy for your job. In the meantime you will get stronger and then you can deal with the issues with him.

Try to take life one day at a time. Focus on the now. It makes life much easier. You have us and your counselor for support. We are always here for you.

In the meantime, keep posting and let us know how you are making out.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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