Depression, and breast cancer

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

patti am
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 10/24/2008 6:14 PM (GMT -7)   
Not sure which site to post on so I figured what is worse is the depression. Was diagnosed 8/07 with BC finished surgeries,chemo, and radiation 4 months ago. Right after I finished my best friend died of oral cancer. While going through this I THOUGHT I was dealing great...Would go to treatment then to work, never missed a beat.....obviously I didnt take very good care of myself because about a month ago I HIT THE WALL> I was shaking inside and out...became so depressed, exhausted, not being able to get out of bed...total insomnia...and have taken a leave from work...I feel like a failure that this happened...why??? Now I am working with a therapist twice a week and a psychiatrist...feel like my whole life changed in a matter of minutes. I am tsking 225mg effexor, ativan twice a day, lunesta to TRY to sleep, and tamoxifan......ive been doing this for about a month and honestly i dont feel much better....anyone out there with some advice....I love life and have alot of support...oncologist is blaming depression on chemically induced menopause...what do u think Patti

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40598
   Posted 10/24/2008 6:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Patti,

Welcome to HealingWell. I am so happy that you have found us.

I honestly think that you have been through so much. No wonder you are depressed. Facing breast cancer and losing a friend to cancer isn't easy. So if anything is causing the depression, if it is situational, I would think it would be your situation along with the menopause. Not just the menopause.

Give yourself some time to greive your friend and for yourself. May I ask what procedure they did? you don't have to answer if you don['t want, I will completely understand.

You are so not a failure. You have endured so much. I can't stress that enough. You are a wonderful, strong and compassionate person. Never forget that. And remember you have come to a place full of wonderful kind and compassionate members, so keep posting, we are here for you.

Don't give up sweetie,

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 10/24/2008 6:40 PM (GMT -7)   

Dear Patti,

Welcome to HealingWell and I admire you so much. You see I lost my oldest sister on Thanksgiving last year, she had BC but died of massive heart attack.  This spring I was dx with skin cancer............easy to treat, 4 areas.  My only sister left and only sibling had not been feeling well however her daughter was getting married on 8/1 and she did not want to tell her so I was sworn to secrecy. the whole time of the wedding and while her daughter was on her honey moon my sister was deathly ill.  Could not eat, weak, tired, chest pain and abdominal pain. She went to work the day before she was flown to MN. idea You ladies are tough.............

When her daughter got home she took my sister to ER in North Dakota and they said she had a large ovarian cancer.........on 8/13 we flew her here to the U of MN Hospital and she has been in the hospital most of the time.  She has been receiving chemo, but they feel she is already a Stage 4 cancer.

I put on the tough lady, I can handle anything and did all the right things. Stayed many nights by her side in her room.  She is so afraid of being alone.  Well one night after coming home I had a meltdown................I did not think I could take anymore sorrow or sadness. My depression kicked in as I wondered what would I do if she was not here.

My sister will not admit she is depressed but she is getting seroquel so I think that is helping.

Your oncologist may be right on the meds but you might ask for Trazodone for sleep.  I tried Lunesta and had a severe reaction to it.............vertigo so bad with my second dose I needed help getting from my office to the car when my hubby picked me up.

Others on the site use Trazodone. The first night I did not think much of it but after that it worked well.  I take 100mg. some members use 150mg at bedtime.

You have a serious illness and it is very normal to have depression and anxiety with this illness.  Please keep   posting here and let us help you.........Oops, I wrote a book.

Take care my friend
Kitt

Remember I am not a professional.
 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


patti am
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 10/24/2008 6:59 PM (GMT -7)   
dear karen and Kitt, Thanks for responding so quickly....I am 45 years old, was diagnosed at 44, no family history...was blown away. I had a 2.4cm mass in my rt breast that was hidden under a 1.6 mill mass...therefore they removed the 1.6.....and had to operate the second time to get all the 2.4...then on the 3rd surgery they took al the lymph nodes from the right side. my surgeries were 10/01,10/15, and 10/30....lostsa time for healing huh!!! started AC in nov, followed by Taxol which ended in May...My friend and I would go to each others treatment with eachother...she died 7/13....I am a full time director of a school thatt I created...and I cant even make it to work cause I'm so depressed....will it get better??

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40598
   Posted 10/24/2008 7:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Sweetie,

It will get better, you are grieving the loss of your best friend. That takes time and there is no limit or are no rules with grief. So be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to feel the natural feelings.

Pamper yourself for a while. Take some relaxing bubble baths. Remember the good time with your friend. I am sure that she would feel very proud of you for being so strong, but would love for you to let yourself go through the process and not feel guilty about it. You are doing what is natural. There is no right or wrong here.

And in time it will get easier. You sound like a super strong woman. You sound so kind and compassionate. Give yourself a break and allow yourself to grieve at your own pace. You will do fine and as we all know time heals our wounds.

Keep posting,
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 10/24/2008 7:35 PM (GMT -7)   

Yes Patti,

It will get better.  You are not only grieving for your friend but for yourself and who you were.  Inside your still that same wonderful person but you have a change in your body image and that is a loss for you I suspect.

You have lost your dear friend and the two of you were supporting each other, now you must feel like your alone as your friend understood cancer.  Give yourself plenty of time to grieve but trust me it will get better. You will be back at your school and remember to take it slow.
 
I lost my son when he was 21, I through myself back into work to soon and never made it through the first night. I smashd my finger on a cart and out came all the tears of grief.  I wore my happy face for years before I just had to hang it up, but I feel better now being able to say I have depression but I am OK.
 
Take care and we are here for you. Karen is wise and wonderful and so very kind.
Gentle Hugs to you,
Kitt
 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


mom9mom
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 489
   Posted 10/26/2008 10:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Just a short note to let you know that you are not alone.I was like you wanted to beleave that I was O.K. after my twin sister died unexpectadly tell I finaly did the worst thing you can do to yourself.I am so glad that you did not get that far. Stay on your meds. and keep seeing your Therapist & Psychiatrist. If your meds. dont make a diffrents soon talk to your DR. there are alot of diffrent meds. It might take a little will to find the right one for you.It must have been so hard to deal with the BC. and you freind dieing. I will pray for you.
Lost half of my small intestine, Nerve damage to right leg,part of my right hip bone removed,hernia,infection in my back called discites,and depression

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Friday, December 09, 2016 2:24 PM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,735,488 posts in 301,310 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151413 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, MamaPhoenix.
370 Guest(s), 16 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
PeteZa, robotguy, TOOTY, dismissed, Serenity Now, Scaredy Cat, Girlie, reminder, Mad Martha, Huddie, pmm73, ks1905, Jingles1234, brucen36, LiveJoy, Peter A


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer