having someone else pay for therapy and guilt

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Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 261
   Posted 10/26/2008 11:03 PM (GMT -6)   
Does anyone here have someone else pay for their therapy, and if so do you feel guilty about all the money they are spending on you?

I doubt anyone remembers but awhile back I posted that I was having a hard time sticking with a therapist, that I kept having to leave them for one reason or another. The last therapist I was seeing I had to leave because she just didn't have room for me in her schedule anymore. So I had an intake with a new therapist and I really liked her. I had a better first impression of her than any other therapist I'd ever seen and believe me I've seen a lot of them in my short life. Then after that first session I found out that my medical assistance wouldn't cover her. Some weird thing about how they would only cover one person in the practice(which wasn't her) even though the whole practice was listed in my provider handbook. She said that she would try to straighten things out with my medical assistance to see if she could get them to pay for me to see her, but the process is taking a long time.

My mother did offer to pay for my therapy and she must think I really need it badly because money is so tight right now. Because money is so tight I'm just not sure if I can accept her help in paying for my therapy. I do have other insurance that does pay part of the cost but it would still be $40 a session. So that would be $160 a month indefinitely, and it's just too much money. I just feel like I can't take that much money from my mother when she's already making the payments on a loan that she took out for me to get rid of my credit card debt. I'm afraid if I did accept the money from her then all I'd talk about in therapy is how guilty I felt about it.

My uncle also made an offer to pay for my therapy depending on how things go with his new job. Even if things work out for him and it turns out that he's able to help me, I'd still run into the same guilt issues with my mother. He's already paying for half of our mortgage(that's how bad our financial situation is) that I couldn't dream of asking him to spend so much money on me.

I think the only person I wouldn't feel guilty about taking the money from is my father. Due to the fact that there's past child abuse issues with him, I feel like he will never be done repaying me for everything he's done to me. So I'd have no problem taking vast amounts of money from him. Though I seriously doubt he'd give me any money even if I did get up the courage to ask him. He already sent me $400 this year(which was a huge shock considering how poor our relationship is) to pay for medical expenses and I blew through that several months ago. He'd probably just tell me to find someone else that my medical assistance would pay for. He wouldn't understand or care that I got such a good feeling about this latest therapist I saw.

Is anyone else in situations like this or can anyone give me any advice on how to get over the feelings of guilt so that that maybe I can actually allow my family to help me financially to get the help I need?

Allergies, Asthma, Anxiety, Depression, IBS, PCOS, Fibromyalgia

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 489
   Posted 10/27/2008 1:58 AM (GMT -6)   
This is alot of money for your mom to pay but if you look at it from your moms side of it you would be able to see why she wants to do this for you.If this DR. can help you its a investment in your future.Keep working with your insurance to find out why thay have such a weird rule.Make sure that the DR. follows through with trying to get them to pay(DR. & Hospitals can usally get them to do more then you could).Luck into any state help that you might be able to get.Good luck.
Lost half of my small intestine, Nerve damage to right leg,part of my right hip bone removed,hernia,infection in my back called discites,and depression

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40393
   Posted 10/27/2008 11:11 AM (GMT -6)   
I agree with mom Kythe,

But maybe you could go to the first couple of sessions with your mom's help and hopefully by then, the insurance will pick it up. I wish you the very best, I know that you like this therapist. And that really does help with the counseling. So maybe you should let her pay for the first visit anyway. Tell your therapist that she is helping you and yes you do feel guilty. But you really could use the help right now. And I am sure the insurance will make an exception and cover.

Best wishes for a wonderful day.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 10/27/2008 5:25 PM (GMT -6)   


I think you are very lucky to have a Mom that loves you this much.  Anyway you can earn some extra money to help cover the expense?  Bless both you and your Mom.



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