its been 7 years.

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Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 51
   Posted 11/6/2008 10:32 PM (GMT -6)   
old memories back to haunt me.
this month marks seven years since i was molested by my grandfather.
i used this forum to help when i reached dead bottom in my life and it really helped me.
its been years actually since ive been on here and im so scared of falling back into old habits of killing the pain.
i dont understand what happened..... i was doing perfectly fine.. dealing with it better than i ever have and now im just.... i feel so exhuasted.
I'm away at college which isnt helping cause ive been extremely homesick and now everything just feels even worse.
i cant talk to anyone.
my family acts like it never happened and my father tells my mother i need to " get over it"
so what do i do......... someone please tell me what the hell im suposed to do if its been this long and i STILL cant overcome this.
cause im running out of ways to deal.
Be nice to everyone you meet,
they're going through a battle,
you know nothing about.
"Acknowledge your history without being controlled by it."

" Everyone says time heals all wounds.... time heals nothing, zip, nadda, nothing. Its the events that take place during that time that help you heal. "

" Let me tell you something about life.... you can run, but youll just die tired. You have to face yourself and everything else."

"You cannot change what you do not acknowledge."

"Anger is nothing more than an outward expression of hurt, fear and frustration."

"If you want more, you have to require more from yourself."

"Sometimes you make the right decision, sometimes you make the decision right."

New Member

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 11/7/2008 12:25 AM (GMT -6)   
First of all, acknowledge that there is no time table. This is your grief, your anguish, and while moving past it is the goal, you should be firm in the fact that you will move past it at your own rate. No matter how long it takes.

That said, at this point I would say it would be a good idea to enlist the help of a professional. This depends on your own set of beliefs: a psychologist, a yoga teacher, a psychic, an acupuncturist. Whatever the form of help may be, you clearly feel that this has extended beyond your own sense of control. That is why we have a community-based existense. Seek help from your community, in the way that most makes sense to you. And never be ashamed for that help. That is why we grow in communal structures: because none of us can exist alone. Good luck.

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 11/7/2008 2:25 PM (GMT -6)   

Hello  NeverGetsEasyx

This is Kitt.  I am glad to meet you but wish it did not have to be here.

Have you ever been through the CBT therapy? 

Cognitive-behavioral therapy is based on the idea that our thoughts cause our feelings and behaviors, not external things, like people, situations, and events. The benefit of this fact is that we can change the way we think to feel / act better even if the situation does not change.

Here is a free online site where you can complete the program on your own. Many members swear by this and it has been very successful for members with PTSD.


The MoodGym Training Program

Just click on the link.

I hope you give it a look and please know we support you.

Gentle Hugs


Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~* *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 11/7/2008 2:26 PM (GMT -6)   


Hi there and welcome to HealingWell.  We are always happy to have new members.  Great advice you gave on your first post.

WE have a new members thread if you would like to share a bit about you.

AGain welcome,


Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~* *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40402
   Posted 11/7/2008 7:58 PM (GMT -6)   
As Chile said,

And I agree, there is no time limit on grief. There is no right or wrong way. Embrace your feelings, no matter what they be. Acknowledge them. Then try to move on. If it comes back, then you deal with it again. It will get easier with time. Time does help heal wounds. But sometimes it can take a lot of time.

I also agree that you could use some professional support. I think that counseling would help. I know that it stirs up some old feelings and memories, but this way you will be better able to deal with them.

Also if you are suffering from some ptsd, that is your mind protecting you. The mind has a way of healing at it's own pace, it all goes accordance with what you are able to handle at the time.

Best wishes to you, and please keep posting,as we are here for you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 11/8/2008 8:09 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi there,

You have been given some really good suggestions already and I just wanted to say that I think the MoodGym that Kitt has suggested is fantastic. I have done it myself and it really does help.

Comminication is wonderful healer... if you do nothing else, communicate

Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
"A gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if your not enough without it, you will never be enough with it." - Irvine Blitzer (John Candy) in Cool Runnings
Moderator - Epilepsy Forum
Co-Moderator - Depression Forum
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