Knight, I do agree with what the others said. Your wife should be evaluated for bipolar. There are also support groups for people with this disorder and that would include any family members who need to go for their own support in dealing with the family member. Not only should you take away the credit cards, call the credit bureaus, issuing banks, dept. stores - anyone who has issued your credit cards and let them put a freeze on any spending on all cards. Do not cancel your cards as it will lower your FICO score. A lower FICO score will make it difficult for you to ever get a loan if you need one. But a freeze on using the cards is the best idea to stop the over spending. I know your wife needs help and hopefully you can get that for her but you also need to take care of yourself. If you are not healthy you won't be of much good to her. I truly hope things start to go better for you and do keep posting as it is a way to release your feeliings. There is always somone here to answer you and help you . I hope if makes you feel comforted to know so many people care.
IMHO I am seeing two people and both are sick with 2 completely different disorders. Your disorder people understand and can see. Your wife is blessed with the disease that people don't understand as they feel you can just get over it.
People with bipolar experience manic and depressive feelings. The extremes can involve a "high" mood, sometimes called mania, and/or very low moods or depression. It is normal for your wife's mood to go up and down, but in Bipolar Disorder the changes are more extreme. Often between the highs and lows, a person experiencing Bipolar Disorder may feel okay.
Your wife really need mental health care asap and you have to take care of you. Any family that can help you?
You may want to check out the following link:
Know we are wll here for you.
Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression& GERD Forums*~*
These pretty much sum her up to a tee, and her attitude about over spending is that you only live once, and you will always have bills anyway, so don't worry. That's real denial. We're pretty close to just having enought to pay the bills and not any left over.
The housekeeper came and worked wonders. Wife got up at 6 AM to clean some dishes before the housekeeper came. Dishes were probable 2 weeks behind. Quite awful. Tonight wife actually made a passing thank you to me for getting the housekeeper. Shocked me.
Bottom line is I know I still need help. My vision is we should have a doc come to the house and see what's going on, but I don't know if that is possible or affordable. Otherwise, some sort of M/F counseling, however wife is able to schooze people and I really think people have to enter her world to see what's really happening. Btw, she is seeing a pyciatrst (sp?) and is taking meds, but the doc is basically on a 15 minute per month meeting for $150 and while he was able to wean her on to meds, I believe the meds are making her irritable and nasty.
Thanks for listening, reading, commenting and suggesting. I am taking all your thoughts to heart.
Hi Riri and welcome,
You are right on calling it a crutch. As I said in the title it is getting old. That's slang I guess. But when you stand back without engaging the drama, it is very clear that it is a huge crutch that can not be argued with. Depending what day it is, it's either the depression, the headaches, the cough, the cold, the period, or she's tried to catch up around the house and is wiped out with fatigue for the next 2 or 3 days. That's right. Days.
So when you say alternative forms of treatment, are you talking about saint johns wart, magnets, tapping, chakras, or are you open to all possibilities or are you seeking any specific stuff? An idea rushed through my mind right now that seems too simple, but an alternative treatment is -walking- every day and exercise. Have you tried that? Silly as it sounds, I believe it enjoys some success. The important part is sticking with it.
Let us know how you're doing and how we can help.
I have read that you may only have one episode of mania in your life and if the rest is all depression you can still be bipolar.
Your wife on the internet spending $10,000 dollars is manic in my thinking, and if she thinks it is no big deal and not worrying about how to pay bills, that leans more toward manic thinking.
Does your wife have a social worker or someone that can intervene?
With your surgery coming up you need help with her illness and with your own.
Please contact your own physician and ask him how to do an intervention of some sort.
Take care and my prayers to all of you.