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San's
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 79
   Posted 11/21/2008 11:53 AM (GMT -7)   
confused   cry sad REALLY DOWN AND DEPRESSED ONCE AGAIN
 
     Hi getting by
          I feel like I am a hopeless mess,with no way out.You know that I have been dealing with a lot of things in my life,since we have been e-mailing each other.
          I feel like I am a lost hopeless case and can not be helped.I have been to three specialist about the drainage from my rectum,due to my permanent colostomy.All off the doctors say that they don't know what is causing it and they  don't want  to get into it or touch me.The just keep sending me to other doctors.Yestesday my husband and I drove 187 miles one way to "he what was supposed to be one of the top specialist around".He checked me out,handed me a phone number of another doctor and told me give him a call,that he did not want to get into it with me.I feel I am getting the run  around.I have another appointment set up to travel about 180 miles on January 9th,to see another specialist.
         I am wore out,depressed,up set and have lost all of my holiday spirit because of it.I keep a constant headache from the stress fot what I am putting myself through.It is causing a lot of friction between my husband and I.Told him this morning that I did not feel much like going over to my daughters for Thanksgiving.Her house is not all the big,and she is going to have 36 people there.It will wall to wall peoplel and not all family.I just don't feel like being around all of them people the way I feel.Do you think I am wrong for not wanting to go,and be around that many  people,feeling the way I do.I really don't see things changing between now and next Thursday.My husband tells me that I am just feeling sorry for myself,but I don't think that he knows all that I am going through.
         Please try to give some answers and help me.I am desperite.I want so bad to O.D,but I know that my grand children and my handicap son needs me.I can not stop crying. I hope to hear from you soon.
                                     Hugs and Prayers
 
                                                                                          San's  (Sandy)
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40603
   Posted 11/21/2008 1:32 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Sandy,

No I don't think you are being unreasonable for not wanting to go to such a crowded house. If you are uncomfortable, why don't you just stay home with your husband and cook a small turkey and enjoy eachothers company.

We are going to Son and Daughter in laws. I want to see the grandchildren, we don't see them that often. But I would so much rather stay home. But you know how that goes. I think it will be a nice time, there will be eight of us. But that is a lot different from 30 some people. That is a lot!

I sure hope that this new specialist can help you. I can understand your wanting to get this fixed. But you have been through so much in the last few months. I don't know how you do it.

Well, the sun is popping in and out. It is cold here today. about 30 degrees. but feels like about 10. It is cold out. But as long as the sun keeps trying to come out, it isn't too bad.

Tomorrow is my birthday. I will be 50. I can't believe it. Never thought through all these years of depression that I would make it this long. Seriously, I figured I would go at a really young age. Couldn't picture living past 30. But here I am. Things have changed and I am a lot happier than I use to be.

Luv and hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 11/21/2008 4:31 PM (GMT -7)   

Oh my, I just took a deep plunge into an icey bath.......Karen you are young my friend.  I wish I was 50, things were so much better then.

Eat cake and celebrate for me please. I am way past 50.  I am way past the speed limit.............55 and alive. smhair

Sans,

I know you are talking one on one with Karen but I want you to know you are important to all of us here on HealingWell. Let us lift you up and never think of yourself as useless or hopeless.  Everyone is here for a reason, we just don't always know what the reason is sometimes.  You will see the reason, never give up.'

Your post brought tears to my eyes to see how unhappy you are. Bless you always.  I did post to your other thread to and I am  so glad you posted in that thread.

Gentle Hugs

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
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http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


djdaz_1985
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 11/22/2008 7:49 AM (GMT -7)   
If we're talking ages here im only 23! tongue

On a more serious note:

Sans, I can fully understand what you mean about not wanting to go to a crowded house. When you have the christmas spirit drained out of you, the last thing you want to do is be surrounded by people who think impressions of Rudolph at the dinner table is the best joke since sliced bread. I would talk to your daughter and explain the situation. She will probably understand. 36 people in a small house is no fun at the best of times... I live in student halls and its not much better so I know what you mean! Have you seen a doctor regarding the depression? It may only be situational depression (Rather than Major
Depressive Disorder) but it is still a real problem and is something that you ought to get seen to.

Keep talking!

Darren
Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
 
"A gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if your not enough without it, you will never be enough with it." - Irvine Blitzer (John Candy) in Cool Runnings
 
Moderator - Epilepsy Forum
Co-Moderator - Depression Forum
 
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stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 11/22/2008 11:11 AM (GMT -7)   

Great idea from Darren and I too would suggest a  visit to the Doctors.

Darren, I have a grandaughter your age..............How can that be, I am only a babe in the woods. I think she must be adopted.

Keep on taking those baby steps, Sans

Hugs

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


djdaz_1985
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 11/23/2008 7:12 AM (GMT -7)   
Baby steps are just the right way to go about it... dont try and run before you can walk.
Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
 
"A gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if your not enough without it, you will never be enough with it." - Irvine Blitzer (John Candy) in Cool Runnings
 
Moderator - Epilepsy Forum
Co-Moderator - Depression Forum
 
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
 

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