This is Kitt and welcome to HealingWell. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad to cancer and it was only 3 weeks from the time he was dx. I was his only child. I do know how you feel. He was my best friend and I knew he loved me more then life.
Grief is a normal and healthy response to loss, not an illness. Its symptoms are painful, but they serve an adaptive purpose. Most grief runs its course with the support of your friends/family. But sometimes grief can trigger depression .When grief triggers depression, the sadness can be unrelenting and overwhelming. Some people describe it as “living in a black hole” or having a feeling of impending doom. Even when participating in activities you used to enjoy, you feel as if you are just “going through the motions.” You may also feel numb, lifeless and empty.
I would like to encourage you to consider counseling to help you through this painful time. One on one counseling can help you understand your feelings as well as teach you skills to cope with your pain.
Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression& GERD Forums*~*
I am really sorry that you are depressed. You obviously believe that this depression stems from the death of your father so I feel your first move should be to get help from Grief counseling which is an organization for bereaved people. They have local support groups which you can usually get information about from any of the local churches as well as from most of the funeral homes in your area. . If you have never really accepted/got over the death of your dad, it will help you greatly to talk about this. You may feel you have talked to to friends, but of course there is always a kind of cut-off time when you feel that people are bored with the subject, or you think that they believe you should now have got over it. Talking to a counselor is different because they know that grief is a personal thing and that it takes as long as it takes to get over it. I'd also like to suggest a couple of books to you that I'm sure you'd benefit from reading:
'You'll Get Over It' by Virginia Ironside, published by Penguin.
'Living With Grief' by Tony Lake, published by Sheldon.
I hope this advice will help. But if after reading these books and getting help with Grief counseling support groups you find that your mood is not sufficiently improved, then I think you should see your own Doctor about more general help for depression. I know you have a Pdoc appointment but a Physician can check you out to make sure nothing else is going on with you.
There is the free, online site for CBT therapy that was mentioned before. Many of the members have used it.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy is based on the idea that our thoughts cause our feelings and behaviors, not external things, like people, situations.
Here is the link for the free site:
The MoodGym Training Program
Keep posting to us and know we do understand your pain. Hugs, Kitt
Hi Kelly, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your Dad. It is very hard to lose such a close family member. Do you live with your Mother or any siblngs? Are you working or are you in school? The reason I ask is that if you are in school they may have couselors that can help you. I think it would be a good idea to get a complete physical check up with your dr. to make sure you are healthy. Also, your dr. may know of some way for you to get counseling. I know you said you live in a small town. Is there a hospice located anywhere near you? Most hospices have grief support groups and they are amazing and kind. And if you are a young person they may have a group just for people like you. I am only mentioning this because when my Mom died she had been in hospice care and they had counselors and grief support groups and the support was wonderful. You don't have to have a family member in hospice to join their grief support groups. There is no time limit on grieving. Allow yourself as much time as you need and don't be afraid to cry. Lettiing out your emotions can help you to feel better. I will keep you in my prayers and do post here any time if you need support. There is always someone who will respond. Take good care of yourself.