Thank you for the kind words. I'm truly amazed at the strength many of you have shown during these difficult times. I'm hoping I can show the same kind of strength. I have a few questions if you don't mind:
1) Is it common for the depressed spouse to push away their significant other? It just doesn't seem like she loves me anymore (she says it but her actions say otherwise). She often wants to get away from our house (even from our kids). She has totally no affection for me (she will give me an occasional hug). It really feels like we are roommates (this seems to be a common feeling for the non-depressed spouses).
2) I'm worried that she is dragging me down with her. I love her with all of my heart and would do anything for her. However, I need to be strong for the kids. Other than counseling, any other suggestions for keeping my sanity?
3) Does the love really ever come back to how it used to be? I love her and will support her through this but it is hard to fathom living the rest of our lives like this (the way my heart feels, I'm not sure I would last that long. Feels like it's going to burst...which would at least alleviate this terrible pain I'm feeling inside).
4) In general, how have so many of you stayed so strong for all these years? Your experiences would be of tremendous help.
Thanks for letting me vent some more. And thank you for your advice.
When she goes out, she usually goes out with friends. Her main reason for leaving the house is that it's a sad place for her. I think when she is out, it helps her to forget about things. However, she is starting to find more peace going out alone and being away from people. She is starting to shut out her family (the parents live with us) and I know they are worried too.
Now, we do have marriage issues also. Nothing major...just the typical fights that couples have. We always make up and keep moving forward. However, it seems that this last fight we had just pushed her over the edge. I'm not convinced (in fact, I'm pretty sure) that the fight we had is the whole reason behind her behavior. Knowing her for as long as I have, there are definitely other issues. If it were just us, she would still be doing the normal stuff with the kids (she loves them very much). At this point, I'm pretty much doing everything for them (taking over her "mommy" duties so to speak). She loves them so much that I know she wouldn't not spend time with them unless there were other things involved.
Having said that, based on the dramatic change in her mood/behavior (i.e., crying for not apparent reason, isolating herself from us, etc...), I'm definitely looking forward to her seeing her doctor. In regards to that, should I call the doctor ahead of the appointment to let him know what is happening? I want to be pro-active but don't want to overstep my boundaries, causing her to push me away even further.