I am in a really bad place right now

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julie_scky
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 1
   Posted Yesterday 1:49 AM (GMT -7)   
ok, so i found this forum and thought that it couldn't hurt to write.
 
I am in a really bad place right now, i have had a really bad year and things just keep happening that make me wonder whats the point.  I was driving my friends truck today ( i have to pick her up from the airport tomarrow) and was crossing this bridge and all i could think about was if i floor it would i go right through the barrer fall in to the water, or would the barrer hold and i would just smash into it. and if i did it would it hurt?  would anyone really care, would anyone come to the furneral, and what would that say?  Julie, the poor girl who was left by everyone when she was 16, Who got married at 19 thinking that she would finally have her everafter and have the family she never could have but only to have it taken away from her 9 years later when he found someone eles. then 4 months later still now emotional stable he takes her son away, HOPEING that she might kill herself (he actually said that to me) who then finds her dad and moved to be with him, hoping that she had finally found her place in life, and a parent who loved her, only to find out that he is abusive, thinks julie is stupid for her ways of thinking, who then after 2 months says that julie wasnt the daughter he thought she was going to be and kicks her out, leaving her all over again. Is that what they would say?
 
Whats the point of going on?  I mean really, I have one friend..ONE..  my son is doing fine, he has a new mommy, and every time i talk to him he just calls me julie he doesnt even think of my as mommy anymore. 
 
I have thoughts of running into polls and driving off bridges and cliffs all the time, I was on a balcony of a 4 story building and all i wanted to do was jump... these thoughts are not normal, but i can't make them go away!!
Edit:  Stop the stinkin thinkin and kick it to the curb.  Turn your thinking around. You can control your thoughts. Quit with the scenarios your running through you head. Go for a long walk...........if you need to call 911
Kitt

Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 12/2/2008 4:09:07 PM (GMT-7)


Confusedli
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 363
   Posted Yesterday 2:26 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Julie,

You need to think of your son, can't you get him back living with you?? or at least spend more time with him?? It sounds like life has been hard for you recently, you need to think about how well you have done to come this far, the worst is over! Have you been to speak to your doctor about how you are feeling? or tried any counselling. I think it would really help you. Maybe you could also try meeting new people through a hobby or interest?
Confusedli
 
"The Optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious of the rose."
 
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain"


TeNNiSd0C09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted Yesterday 8:03 AM (GMT -7)   
You should defn. talk to someone, a doctor, or counselor. They could really help you. You are having abnormal thoughts, so logically the right thing to do would be to get help for those thoughts. You do need to think of your son. Im sure he loves you very much. How would he feel if you walked out of his life by taking your own? Taking your life isnt what you want to do...trust me on this, dont act on those thoughts. You need to talk to someone immediately. Maybe find a support group or try a new hobby. Try getting out of the house and meeting new people somehow. Try something you new. Go to the library and read. If it werent winter I would suggest a garden! Those work wonders! Try painting, or drawing, make things with your hands. Get involved in something. Go to a movie with your friend you mentioned.

Do you work? Do you see your son ever?

Well, in the mean time...go see a doctor or counselor. You could use someone to talk to about this and they can provide the help you need. We will be here for you. Post anytime you would like! We will be your support system and your friend! You are NOT alone anymore. You have us to talk to and we will do our best to help you as much as possible, but we can only do so much, we are professionals! Just people who know what its like to deal with this stuff and more! Best of luck and keep in touch, Take Care!
Lyrica and Paxil (both working quite well might I add!)
   "Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
    "Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
    "Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40572
   Posted Yesterday 9:22 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi there,

I am so sorry that you are in such a rough spot right now. Here are a few numbers and sites that you might want to visit. I hope that this helps.
National Suicide Hotline
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
This is a combined network of the Amerian Association of Suicidology, the National Hopeline Network, CONTACT USA, and many other organizations. Call are automatically routed to the nearest crisis center to the phone from which the call for help is placed.

Helpful Web Sites:
Suicide Hotlines (listed by state)
Suicidal.com (includes Suicide Crisis Center and Depression and Suicide)
SuicidalTeens.com

Also there is another site that you might be interested in called
http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

I hope that you continue to talk to us. Have you talked to a counselor about the way that you feel? There are also many medications that could help you.

Keep posting and remember that we are here for you.

Luv and hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted Yesterday 4:05 PM (GMT -7)   

Hello and welcome, I am Kitt.

I am so sorry for your problems but I suspect there are some things you are holding back. Please read Rule Number one and do refrain from talking of driving into bridges. sad

I lost your story somewhere when you husband took your son and he has a new Mommy.

I agree with Karen, you are very depressed and you need help.

Please use the crisis lines or call 911 or just go to an ER.

We are here to support you but you need professional help and I would ask you to reach out to one of the phone lines now.

Call your friend, I would bet she has a cell phone. somtimes just hearing the voice of someone who cares about you helps.

We will all be keeping you in our prayers

Gentle Hugs

Kitt 


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
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mom9mom
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 489
   Posted 12/5/2008 12:47 AM (GMT -7)   
Julie please take it from someone who has been there done that no matter how much you think that you want that you really dont want to do that.Please go get some help.If you need someone to talk to you can E-Mail me by clicking on the little envelope bye my name.I would realy like to help you if I can.
Lost half of my small intestineJan.2008.Ilieostomy for 5 months then reverst in June 2008,Nerve damage to right leg,part of my right hip bone removed Jan. 2008,Cronic pain,hernia,infection in my back called discites,and depression.Gallbladder removed Nov,2008.Mother to 9 kids 7 boys 2 girls and 1 stepson.4 grandsons,9 grandaughters.4 of my grandkids I inherited from my twin sister who passed away 6 1/2 years ago from a blood clot after surgery.God has given me my life back after I almost lost it.Even though its a painful and sometimes hard road to walk I take it one step at a time and give thanks to god for every step I take.

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