I am sorry you let your feelings get hurt by your Mother's words.
I would suggest letting it go and moving on for now.
I am not sure who owns the house but IMHO fixing the toilet that over flows in the other bathroom maybe one way to go.
We are here for you and I hope your day has improved.
Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression& GERD Forums*~*
Post Edited (Kythe) : 12/7/2008 9:54:48 AM (GMT-7)
Post Edited (wishdreamhope) : 12/7/2008 3:04:45 PM (GMT-7)
Dear Kythe, I truly sympathize with you and don't think you are over reacting. I think your mother is very inconsiderate of you. If she knows you have illnesses then it is just mean for her to do what she is doing. I have asthma so I know that something like hairspray can trigger an attack. I am assuming she uses an aerosol hair spray. There are many hair sprays made that are pump sprays and do not cause the lingering odor. My son uses a body deodorant and it really bothers me. I told him if he had to use it he must use it in his closet and then be sure the closet and his bedroom door are always closed tight. He usually complies but sometimes I still smell it. But then it is different with me as it is my house, my rules. Maybe you should get your father involved. Is he paying support for you? I don't know how old you are but if you are old enough maybe he can send the money directly to you. Have you thought about liviing with your father? I think your mother needs a Big wake up call to what she is doing to you. Are you in school or do you have a therapist or counselor that can speak to her? I can't imagine a mother doing this to her own child. How about your dr.? Do you see a dr regularly and one you can talk to about this? Maybe your dr. can speak with your mother and tell her she is harming you. Another thought is can your mother spray her hair in her own bedroom if it is not too close to you? Also, in terms of getting that toilet fixed it is cheaper in the long run to get a plumber, get the toilet working properly and not have to worry about it over flowing. A toilet overflowing can cause some serious damage to the flooring and if it is above another floor or basement damage the ceiling. That happened to me and the basment ceiling caved in and had to be replaced. I wish you the best and I hope you can get some where with your mother over this issue. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.I only wish I had more ways to help you.
Just one more thing that struck me as I read another of your posts on this, your mother may not be able to smell the spray as much as you because she is using it and it doesn't bother her. Haven't you every heard of women who use gobs of perfume and you just want to run away but they can't tell because the perfume it on them. It is the same principle. She probably can't smell it because she is so used to it. No excuse however, for what she it doing. I worked in an office once where there was a ban on wearing any perfume as so many people were allergic. If someone was caught wearing perfume they had to go in the bathroom and wash themselves until the smell went away. Wish you could ban her hairspray!
Hi Kythe, I read the last 2 posts to you. They suggested working around the problem with your mom and not bringing it up to her. However, SHE is the problem and I don't see any reason not to keep telling her how much the hair spray bothers you. This is a question of your health. If she can't understand that then she sounds like a very negative person. You are her daughter - her primary focus should be on you having good health. Please if you can, get your Dr. to talk to her and tell your mother how damaging this is to you. I still don't know how old you are and if it is possible for you to move out but if you have any chance of moving somewhere else I would do it. It really upsets me when a parent does not do what is the very best for their children. Your mother is actually imposing a form of abuse on you. So tell your dr. or school couselor or therapist. Maybe your Dad can help out. I just can't tolerate such terrible inconsideration. It is a shame that your sister will not stick up for you. Please keep posting and I hope you can get some results.
Dear Kythe, I am glad you posted and now I understand your situation. I guess the best you can do is remain where you are as you depend on your family. How about wearing a face mask when the hair spray is being used? Then you might not breathe in as much. Having 2 grown sons of my own I know that the only way we can talk to each other is if we all stay calm so that is the best approach to take with your mom. I think it is a good idea if you can take her to a therapy session in the future. And trust me no one is thinking anything wrong about you not working. I totally understand. I was very sick this last year and I have been looking for only a part time job for several months and I live in a big city area and there are no jobs to be had. I send out resumes and hope to get a call back but nothing ever happens. You will have time to get a job later. It is important to take care of your health right now. I know how depression is as I have had it for many years. I am getting better but it took the right med and lots of therapy. I still have problems with depression but my therapist has tought me some good coping techniques. You have many friends here so if you need someone to talk to there is always someone to answer you and try to help you. Please do take good care of yourself and if you want me to answer any of your posts I am glad to help.
Welcome to HealingWell and the depression forum. thank you for you insightful post.
We love to meet our new members so I will pop the new members thread to the top for you. If you would like to share a bit about yourself. It is up to you.
Again a warm welcome.