I'm 25 years old and my husband is 45 years old man. we got married 4 years ago and since then my life got changed completely.He has two boys 12 and 16 , since the first day i got married ...I took care of his kids as their own mother. I also took upon all the responsibility as a mature person.
In the begining of our married life , he use to understand my emotion a little bit. But now he does'nt wont to understand me at all. He becomes very insensitive about my emotions.Even if I try to show the concern about our week relationship and try to talk to him , he get ofended and denies for evevrything I say.
He was earlier married to someone in my family and so he knew my family very well. Before we got married he confessed somthing which was totoaly insane.He told me that one time before we starting dating when he was married to his ex - wife, he had sex with my mother and that was just a one night thing and that he loves me very much and wanted to let me know before we get married.After that I was so badly disturb and depreesed but i gave him another chance in life as i saw his honesty in him at that time.
Why I'm mentioning all this is because we had on and off fight with small issue thrughout our 4 years and recently i came to know that he was trying to search for people to have sex and infact found a couple to go for a 3some with them. When I caught him through the emails ,.......I confronted him and he confessed that he was trying to do that but somthing stopped him. He also promised me that he will never do that again , all his obession with incest stroies / adult websties will go away.
Since then I dont have faith or trust in him , and I'm having Anxiety and depression problems.
For ex- Yesterday I had a very hectic day at work , I'm having PMS so I was not okay. when he came to pick me up after work , i wanted to tell him about the issue at work i had to face before leaving the office, but he did'nt take me seriously and wanted to kiss me at tht time , without respecting my emotions and the frustation i was feeling at that time.
Later when we came back home , i went to the bathroom and i tried to cry myself out to get that heavy anxiety feeing off my system. But could'nt do it. when i came out he approached me and asked me to calm down.I told him that I'm very frustrated about him sometimes with not tacking me seriously and that I feel he does'nt respect me also.
when I saw him not understanding what I'm saying , I told him that in my anger that he acts really stupid is behaves like a jerk. He got angry and started abusing me real bad sick and dirty abuses . I told him i know he is angry and so he is abusing me back.
My abuses are not as dirty or sick like his abuses and then he ususal revenge he reminds me of him and my mother sexually together to get even with me. Also because i still dont have a child with him, he tells me that he is happy that he did'nt give me a child.
Why I had to bring this long story because it is very difficult to tell my story otherwise.There is still a lot to say but this what i want to say now.
I've tried enough to talk to him about this that he needs to understand that he should not cross his limits and mentain his self respect and dignity for his future as he is losing respect in my eye by taking that dirty without any morals.
he even told me that he will go on adult website again to search for people to have sex with them. I dont know whether his was just saying that for revenge sake in the argument or that he raelly meant it.
I'm really losing hopes with life and him / dont know what to do / Dont have any family & freinds with me to help
I need advice to help my relationship with this man. I still love him but i cant stand his nonsence either.
How can i make him understand ?? How can i make this feeling of aneity and depression go away.