couldn't understand where i am

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

help me plz
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 12/15/2008 3:25 PM (GMT -7)   
hello
   i am 16 years old. i just moved from india(asia) to US its been 6 months till now. i have a problem with my relationships. my mom and my dad used to have financial issues and they left me with my grand parents since i am 6 years old. i am not sure why but i grown up in a bit reserved way. i love to study and i am so good at studies but i am never comfortable with my relations all these years. i used to go out with friends(only girls). my family can be said as orthodox. after i am 13, they didnt allow me to move with guys much. they set timings. my grand father loves me a lot. everyone in my family loves me. last year i have to stop my educational year because of my health problems. i went into a bit of depression for stopping like that. so to come out of that i planned to go to some computer classes. that time i met a guy. and i liked him so much i dont really know why after a while we loved each other like we cant even be seperated. my grand father came to know about him. he felt like thats not a good thing for my life. he thought i'd get distracted. he sent me to my mom and dad who are living in richmond. even after coming here, i didnt want to lose touch with him we 'll chat everyday irrespective of time. we cant live without each other. i decided to go back to india after my 12th so that i can be with him. it is not my idea actually he is persuading me to come back and i do want to go back too. he wants me to come back and do pharmacy here but if i stay here i can get medicine seat. my mom want me to become a doctor. everyone wants me to become a doctor. i have that capacity also. but he wouldnt want me to stay here anymore. my relation ship with my parents are degrading day by day. because i decided to come back, they are not talking with me properly anymore. sometimes my mom cry that am spoiling my future thinking about the guy. i feel bad seeing her crying i still want to go back for him. i cant say this to him i dont know how he take this. it is too late to think about break up he seriously love him. i cant even imagine if he does anything to himself. even i cant live without him. and i dont want to hurt anyone in my family it is killing me in all ways. can anyone give me any suggestion or advise how to go on with my life without hurting these many people? please help me

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 12/15/2008 4:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Try to take life one day at a time. Study when you should. You have a bright future. If you are meant to be with this boy, you will. You have a long life ahead of you. It is good to get an education. It will do you well in the future when you can make your own decisions. Don't give up your studies.

Mostly, one day at a time.

Best wishes,

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 12/15/2008 5:11 PM (GMT -7)   
help me plz

Give yourself some time. focus on your goals.  do you want to go into medicine here and is that something you cannot do in your country.
Has your friend thought of coming to the US when he is 18 and studying here.
 
Your customs may be different then ours but we too have to deal with out families and becoming attached to one person at 16 is usually not something that most parents are excited about
 
You both may have to prove toyour parents that this is still what you want once you turn 18.  Do think about your career however,  it is a noble one and I am sure you would do it proud.
 
Take care,
 Kitt.
 
 
 
 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


weirdspace
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 161
   Posted 12/15/2008 5:49 PM (GMT -7)   
I say just focus on yourself and do what you need to do for your future. There will always be a time to start a relationship...I think that your future is the most important....Looking back on my life I wish that I didn't focus on relationships at such a young age.....and just focused on myself to find out who I am and what I wanted to be...I'm sorry that your going through such a hard time right now and I know it's hard....Give it some time.....

help me plz
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 12/15/2008 6:06 PM (GMT -7)   
thanks but even am not sure whether am willing to break up with that guy. he always stood for me in every bad situation. i really dont want to break up with him but i have a tie for my future and that guy. breaking up, after that i would surely be shattered. i may end up worse i think. thats the main problem. i want him as much as i want my future.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 12/15/2008 9:39 PM (GMT -7)   
You don't have to break up with him actually. JUst because you want to continue your studies doesn't mean that the long distance relationship wont work. Just keep your studies top priority. You can still email and chat. And eventually if it is meant to be, you will be able to get together. Just don't make any decisions yet. Take it one day at a time.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


TeNNiSd0C09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 12/16/2008 8:12 AM (GMT -7)   
I really wanted to speak to you because I understand. I know your customs are probably different, but age is something we can all share. I am 17 so I think I can relate a bit more. Moving around like that must be hard for you. And leaving a guy whom you really like is difficult. But, long distance relationships can work out if they are meant to be. I think you are very smart and you have some time to figure out in which direction you wish to take you life.

I want to be a doctor so, I can understand the stress of school and such. Its not easy and I know that. I hope you will trust me enough to speak. I will be here whenever you need me. Click on my name and you can email me. Besides, I "love" meeting new people from different places!

Has this boy thought of coming here to the US? Either way, if it is meant to be, it will be regardless of where you are located. You have some time to figure things out and I think you should think of yourself. Thats not being selfish of your family. You deserve to live your own life. Think about what you want to do...

Well, I am at school so I need to go, but remember what I said about emailing me, I am here for you to talk to whenever, or just for fun if you wish! Take Care!
Lyrica and Paxil (both working quite well might I add!)
   "Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
    "Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
    "Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."


mom9mom
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 489
   Posted 12/16/2008 11:13 PM (GMT -7)   
You and your boyfriend need to get your schooling done first.If he really loves you he will wait for you to get done with your schooling.Real love do`s not die just because you are not together right this minute.Both of you need to think how much better your lifes will be if you wait tell your schooling is over.
Lost half of my small intestineJan.2008.Ilieostomy for 5 months then reverst in June 2008,Nerve damage to right leg,part of my right hip bone removed Jan. 2008,Cronic pain,hernia,infection in my back called discites,and depression.Gallbladder removed Nov,2008.Mother to 9 kids 7 boys 2 girls and 1 stepson.4 grandsons,9 grandaughters.4 of my grandkids I inherited from my twin sister who passed away 6 1/2 years ago from a blood clot after surgery.God has given me my life back after I almost lost it.Even though its a painful and sometimes hard road to walk I take it one step at a time and give thanks to god for every step I take.

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Sunday, December 04, 2016 1:26 PM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,732,658 posts in 301,041 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151200 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, MartiG.
297 Guest(s), 10 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
scifigal2k, BnotAfraid, 81GyGuy, Lymepilot, Teamchris, MartiG, Mustard Seed, trumpet123, Annie88, Myself 09


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer