Welcome to HealingWell and the Depression Forum. Karen has given you some great words of wisdom. I just want to add I have had depression for 24 years and I can understand how the meds don't work.
I took one med for 14 years and it worked like a charm and then it pooped out, now I have been on the merry-go-round for 3 years trying to find the right med.
Depression is not fun. I am glad you are supporting her. You are a good person but do remember to take care of you too.
Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression& GERD Forums*~*
I posted this a few days ago for another member and thought it might help you ....................
If you're depressed, you'll know exactly what it feels like, but putting it into words is rarely easy. If you're the friend, relation or colleague of a depressed person, it can be very hard to understand exactly what's happening. To sum it up in one word, depression is Hell.
Depending on whether the sufferer is experiencing mild or major depression, the actual strength of the feelings will vary, but the principle is the same - a confusing maelstrom of powerful negative emotions makes everyday tasks seem pointless. The sufferer is permanently miserable, and although in many cases they'll realise that there's no logical reason for them to feel so low, there's very little they can do about it because the emotions in their head are so powerful
Imagine going through day-to-day life, with nothing apparently wrong, but feeling as though every one of your closest relatives has suddenly died, leaving you totally alone. The experience often gets better in the late evening, but returns, just as strong, the following day. Quotes from depressed people compare the experience to;
a slow crawl through Hell
being a leaf in a strong wind
being trapped inside my own head
watching a film of my life
going through a dark grey shadow of life
looking over the suicide cliff
seeing the world through a plate of dark glass
being a kite in a hurricane - I daren't let go of the stringResource: the Glass Bell Jar
I know you need to take care of you but remember she is sick, and you love her.
Some of the medications they can do labs on to make sure dose is at theraputic levels, like the Tryciclics. Others are more or less trial and assessment of patient to see if meds are working.
I will say a prayer for both of you.
Hope you can find some peace over the Holidays.
It has been awhile. I have been quite busy and many things have changed since I last chatted. Update: Even though at times I "see" my girlfriend more than before. She is have some self-destructive behaviors like drinking almost everyday to get drunk (which b/4 this she might have a few drinks of mine but never a whole drink in years). She is not eating and has dropped around 10 pounds in the last few weeks. Even saying things to her parents to make them so mad they stop talking to her.
Now we are having issues with her confiding in a person that I don't know. And I have found some evidence of the other person having feelings for her that is borderline a little "too" friendly. I have conforted her saying that I don't feel comfortable with this person and I am not sure their advice, comments, and urges are in the best interest of her or ours. She fights very defensively that this person is a great friend and very helpful with the best intentions. The borderline comments that I go back to she slufs off as "joking".
We have issues of our own but definitly, this is not helping. In fact this person is almost a daily issue. From seeing daily, a text or phone, the "friend" is embedded!
She also has after 2 sessions stopped going to her therapist, saying there is nothing she can do for her.
The good news is we are going today to couples therapy b/c I am too the point that I can't take much more. It is not about not loving her but love does not fix all. Which she doesn't understand. I think you can love someone with all your heart and still hurt them so much they cannot get over it and stay in the relationship. That is where I don't want us to go.
Thank you all again for your support!
Kudos to you, couples therapy is the best you can do. Remember to take care of yourself too. Perhaps some of her feelings will come out in couples therapy and your therapist can guide you both.
Keep us up to date, we are here for you.