Ineed advice and your opinions

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Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 1/2/2009 7:01 PM (GMT -7)   
I have been feeling very down lately as I have posted before.  I have always had a strong faith and a belief in God and that I am protected by an angel.  I have had so many bad things happen over the past year, illnesses, and so many bills I don't know how they will get paid but somehow they will.  I have had house repairs, my car being repaired now to the tune of $700 and lost one of my precious dogs.  I am starting to have doubts about my faith.  If God is good and caring why do I feel I am being given so much to handle at a time when I feel so needy and I need to really believe that the powers above are protecting me.  I am wondering how I can keep my strong faith in the face of adversity.  I feel I am being abandoned.  I wonder if there was something I did in my life that I am being punished for.  Maybe God didn't think I was as nice and caring of my Mother while she lived with me.  It is hard to care for an elderly sick parent for 10 yrs and always be cheerful. I know I wasn't always smiling when I went into her room and I sometimes got upset when she would ask me dozens of times to change the TV channel when she had a remote. I did the best I could and I cared enough not to put her in a nursing home.  If you can give me some advice on how to handle my feelings it would be greatly appreciated. Could I have done something wrong that I am being punished for now?
 
Aurora 

sadsoul
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 1/2/2009 9:06 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Aurora,

I have also been feeling very down lately. Like you, I suffer from depression. It's always worse this time of year. Don't know where you live but if it's cold wintertime weather like it is here, I can hardly force myself to do anything that doesn't have to be done. I don't really have any advise for you, just thoughts. I believe in God but am not an active member at any church. The negative situations in your life have nothing to do with God. I'm not saying don't have faith, by any means, but I think you can pray until kingdom come and it won't make or change a situation. I think God only has so much power for us living souls. God isn't punishing you for anything. Crappy things in life just happen. Some people are fortunate, happy, carefree and things always go well for them. Most of us just chug along with life, dealing the best we can with the situations we are in. I hope things improve
for you soon.

Best wishes,

Jean

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/2/2009 10:55 PM (GMT -7)   

Aurora,

You are a good person having a bad day.  I gave up a long time ago trying to be the best and discovered I would never be a Betty Crocker or a Hallmark Grandmother. You gave your best to all so do not go back and doubt yourself. the past is over so stay in the moment.

When you fight and resist the way your life is, you create a state of fear and upset that destroys your effectiveness and almost always makes your situation worse.

You close down inside. You lose your ability to see clearly. You get tunnel vision, and you interact in a way that destroys love and creates opposition and resistance against yourself.

When you get upset, you think that the upset is caused by what happened, but this is never the case. Upsets are not caused by what happened. Upsets are caused by fighting and resisting what happened.

The moment you let go, everything seems to change. With the fear and upset gone, you become creative and able to discover solutions you could never have seen before.

There is a book, Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People?.  You may want to check you library if you have not read it.

I know it seems we are given more then we can handle at times but we are tougher  then we think and even thow we go through tough times we also go through some awesome times.

Hugs for you.

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


manyembers
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 424
   Posted 1/2/2009 11:37 PM (GMT -7)   

Aurora,

 
  God is not punishing you.  That's not how He works.  In fact, He is extra close to you right now because when people are suffering, He draws especially close and is filled with compassion and a desire to be there for you.  I so understand the way you describe you are feeling and I have felt many of those same things.  What helped was to read the psalms as many of the authors felt the same way.  As well, to recall that many of God's people have suffered a lot - take Joseph or Job for example. 

  You are not being punished.  In fact, the Lord knows how hard it was to try to care for your mother.  He is not keeping track of how many times you were impatient.  If anything, He just wants to hold you close to His heart and tell you what a good job you did caring for her, because even though it was so hard for you, you kept trying.  He is not a fairweather friend.  He is constant and unchanging.  Ask Him to forgive you for anything you are carrying guilt over, believe He has and allow yourself to forgive yourself.  He is love and He doesn't want you to live under guilt. 

   I just want to encourage you that although life doesn't play fair, God does.  Something from my own journey, comes to mind.  I once was upset with Him and said I just couldn't get over all that He was allowing in my life that was so hard to deal with.  I then had a thought come in my mind at that very moment that surprised me and has stayed with me.  It was basically "No, you have it wrong.  If you only knew how much worse it would be if God was NOT protecting you.  It's only this hard because He IS helping."  That sort of woke me up. 
 
  In North America, we have been pretty cushioned from a lot of stuff and have come to expect life to go along smoothly but now we are getting a more realistic glimpse of what people go through in most parts of the world - it's hard to make a go at things.  That's why the bible is full of exhortations to endure patiently, to pray without ceasing, to hope, to not lose heart etc. because God wants us to aquire the strength and skill to survive, thrive and navigate through this crazy world.  :0)  And the awesome thing is, when depression and pain press in too strong for us to even practice those skills, like the footprints poem says, He carries us.  I have no doubt He is carrying you right now.
 
  Do you pray?  Just tell Him the same thing you told us all here.  It might feel good to get it all out that way.  You don't have to hold anything back.  Let Him listen.  And know He hears.
 
   I have felt much as you describe, and it isn't easy.  Just remember, it's not personal, kay?  God is for you and not against you.
 
  manyembers

Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 1/3/2009 2:14 PM (GMT -7)   

Thank you HW friends for your very helpful answers. I think what you have said, Kitt, about letting go and not closing down is something I need to work on. And Manyembers I do know in my heart that God does not punish.  I am just going thru a hard tiime right now.  And I do hope that God is carrying me right now as I am having trouble standing on my own.  I guess when you have bills mounting and I keep trying to find a job and can't it is very disheartening.  I worry about the bills and then why no one will hire me but all I can do is keep trying.  It also doesn't help that it is winter and very cold and snowy and icy as those who live in the Midwest know.  It is a struggle to get out of the house with the boots, gloves, hat, scarves. I also have to listen to my son tell me about all the disagreements he and his fiance are having about their wedding in the fall.  He is upset because she doesn't want to wear a blue garter and have him take it off and throw it.  She says it's sexist. But she has no problem with wanting to throw her bouquet.  He feels strongly about the garter as he believes it is wedding tradition and ritual.  And he gets upset if I don't listen to all this razzmatazz.  So I have the added worry and upset about this wedding that is sounding more and more ridiculous every day. They want me to listen, keep my mouth shut and open my wallet.  Well, I have worries about how this marriage is going to work.  And he is so afraid of divorce due to his father and I being divorced. Well, this wedding is a whole other set of problems but I can't worry about it now as there are still 10 months to go.  I just wish everyone would stop coming to me with all their problems and understand that I have my own. I will try to do the best I can with all your advice and hope that things start to turn for the better. I know that so many others are much worse off so I have to be grateful for what I have.


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40590
   Posted 1/3/2009 2:57 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Aurora,

I think that right now we all have to look at things that way. Feeling greatful for what we have.

We have a lot of snow and cold right now. And yes it is a struggle just to get out of the house. I haven't been out in days. Getting cabin fever early this year.

I wish that your son would keep their problems to themselves. But I guess you can listen, just try not to react. I know that this is easier said than done when you are constantly hearing about it. I hope that you can take it with a grain of salt and go on about your own things.

I know that the financial matters are getting hard, especially right after the holidays when I think that we all over spend. I have property taxes to worry about. It is a pain. My home is paid for but the taxes are high and I am always behind. I would hate to lose my home because I couldn't afford the taxes. But that is something I try not to think about at this time. It just makes depression and my fibromyalgia worse from worry.

I hope that you can relax and have a good evening. Let's both try to think of the good things that we have experienced in life and not worry about the rest. Even if it is for just one evening. I will try if you will too. Well, I will try anyway. I hope that you do too.

Take care Aurora, keep your chin up. We are here for you and always will be.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 1/3/2009 5:11 PM (GMT -7)   

Thanks Karen, You always have good advice.  I am going to have a good evening because I took down all my Xmas decorations and put them away.  I still have to do the tree but since its not real I don't have to worry about getting it out yet. So I will enjoy tonight. And tomorrow I will anticipate it being Monday so I can get my car back hopefully repaired and working for a while. I hope you enjoy your evening too.

Hugs,

Aurora


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/3/2009 7:59 PM (GMT -7)   

Aurora,

Sending warm hugs your way and do snuggle up and have a relaxing evening................You always have my support.

Kitt ((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

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