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Confusedli
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 1/3/2009 5:26 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Guys,
 
I need some support today.  The last few weeks of my relationship have been hard & I have concluded that my boyfriend as much as I love him so so much, will never be able to fulfil my needs. I think this is going to be the end of things, and it hurts so so much.  I feel like I am in a fog& don't know which way to turn.  I love this guy & I genuinely thought he was the one for me to share my life with, but I don't think either of us have the capability to make the other happy.  I think it is probably for the best to call it a day, but OMG it is breaking my heart in to pieces.  I have never felt like this before & I honestly don't know what to do, I am going to take some time out to think about things, but I can't seeany way forward with him right now.  Why does it hurt so much tho, my heart is aching!!
Confusedli
 
"The Optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious of the rose."
 
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain"


ad1
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 75
   Posted 1/3/2009 7:46 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Confused,

I recently split up with my ex in November so I can kind of relate I guess.. but the worst thing she did was ignore me for 2 weeks while she thought about it and then eventually told me. I actually thought everything would still be ok but deep down I saw it coming.. anyway I hope you can figure things out and if it does come to it then maybe it just wasnt meant to be! Sorry Im not the greatest with advice but I'm here if you wanna talk, I noticed you said you were from Liverpool in another thread, I am too!

Take Care..

Confusedli
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 1/3/2009 9:43 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey Ad1,

Small world!!!

Thanks for your message, I appreciate it. I don't know if it's meant to be or not, I feel like If it was meant to be it would be easier then this! I will carry on thinking!
Confusedli
 
"The Optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious of the rose."
 
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain"


enWayen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 1/3/2009 9:45 AM (GMT -7)   
Heej Li,

Nobody is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes. So maybe you could ask yourself the question whether there actually is someone that can fulfil your needs. Li, you know I am not judging your decision, but maybe this is something you haven't thought of before. The perfect partner will never exists unless you can fully accept his flaws. Then he will be perfect. But of course it is easier to do with someone who has less flaws.

Anyway, a good way to look at those situations is to think of what will bring you more happiness in the long run. Do you think you will live a devastated life if you leave him, or will things change for the better? If you get an answer from this, I believe that is the way to go.

But whatever you do, a good conversation with him might make the choice easier. So please give that a try.

And Li, no matter what happens, you know we will be here for you!

All the best!
Erik
Acceptance is the key

The World is but a reflection. Smile, and it will smile back.

Try to keep smiling! :)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40602
   Posted 1/3/2009 10:54 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Li,

You will know in your heart what is the best thing to do. I know that it is hard, you two have been through a lot together. Maybe you could try to be friends to make the transition easier down the road. Whatever you decide, we are behind you. And we are here for you.

Best wishes sweetie,

Luv and hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Confusedli
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 1/4/2009 3:01 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi,

I still haven't made any decisions & thinking about it is making me feel ill!!! I appreciate your responses & I know everyone has faults - it's just there r some things I guess I need and I don't know if I can compromise, I guess this is a fault of mine!
Confusedli
 
"The Optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious of the rose."
 
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain"


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40602
   Posted 1/4/2009 3:34 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Li,

I wouldn't consider it to be a fault. It is just what you want. If you see things that you want that will never be, then maybe it is time to move on. I guess it depends how important it is to you. So please don't blame yourself for having certain wants and needs.

You will figure this out in time. Let things go as they may.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/4/2009 5:50 PM (GMT -7)   

Dear Li,

When you break up with someone you love but know it is not working out it feels so bad as it is the end of a dream.  You had wonderful plans and they may not work out so getting the courage to let go hurts.

Also you are having trouble making the decision............that also causes you great sadness.

Why do relationship breakups hurt so much, even when the relationship is no longer good? Whatever the reason for a breakup , coping can be a challenge, because even a disappointing relationship starts out with an emotional investment in what could be. Serious relationships begin on a high note of excitement and hope for the future. People invest time, energy, plans, dreams and hope for the future in love relationships. When these relationships fail, we experience profound disappointment, as well as grieve the physical loss of someone important in our lives.

Gentle Hugs my friend and know I care.

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Confusedli
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 1/5/2009 2:29 AM (GMT -7)   
I made the decision that I was going to split up with him, and I went over to his to do it, and I just couldn't.  I kept thinking of all the lovely things that he's done for me & all the happy times we have and I just can't see my future without him in it - however I still have the same problems and I don't know if they will ever go away, so I am still as confused as I was before. I think I will try talking with him about it & I guess if we can't reach a solution go from there!
Confusedli
 
"The Optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious of the rose."
 
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain"


ad1
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 75
   Posted 1/5/2009 9:31 AM (GMT -7)   
I think talking with him about it is the best thing you can do, I hope it works out for you whatever happens!

horserider02
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 1/7/2009 7:21 PM (GMT -7)   
i hear you about broken hearts....
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