Oh my dear family,
I made it..........my first patient was at the kindergarden school.....she had accidentally wet her pants............I rose to the challenge. I know now that I have gone to 2 of the shcools that I will make it through.
I have always wanted to soar like an eagle :)
Dear Kitt, You have done so much for so many - you are not failing at all. Erik is right about regulating your beathing. That seems to help me. If I understand what you are saying I think your problem is with driving. Is that right? I have had a problem with driving for years and I am doing so much better now and am able to cope with certain situations. I always have a cell phone with me so I can call someone so that helps. If I get too panicky I pull off the road and do my breathing techniques until I feel more secure. Also, stop lights can be a problem for me so I keep a pen and pad of paper in front with me and I concentrate on writing something, say a grocery list. This helps. I think if you are just concentrating on where you are going and don't think of anything else you will be OK. Another thing you can do is if you have someone to drive with you on practice runs you may feel more confident. I did that for a while and it helped me. You have a wonderful new job and I know you will be a great success so concentrate on the children you will be helping. Do you have a med to help you with this? I know klonopin is supposed to be good for panic but it did not work well for me. Right now I use ativan and that seems to calm my anxiety. Please let me know if I can be of further help to you. You are such a good and kind person and you deserve to have the good that life can bring. And never forget how very much you do contribute. You can and will soar like an eagle.
Many gentle hugs,
Thank you for your never ending support. The computer was not hard at all.................I learned a lot in the 4 hours.
Guess what, today is my first " schools closed" day so I guess I do not go to meet with the nurse at the highschool........it was only a one hour meeting so I will get it in next week. Tommorrow I am booked early in the AM til 1:00 PM.
I have got my selfesteem back and I am feeling good about me. I did it, after 3 years of sitting here I have picked myself up and gone back into the world of the living.
Depression can be beat down even thow it may spike at times, I now feel good about me. That makes a huge difference in my life.
Also weaning the Cymbalta slowly.
I owe so much to all of you. Thank you.