Afraid of crashing

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stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/12/2009 6:50 AM (GMT -7)   
Good Morning Family,
 
I am so afraid of crashing............I am trying to hold on here but I have to leave in 30 minutes and every day this week.
 
I have failed at so many things this past 3 years including not finding a med that helps that I feel I am being tossed about on an ocean.
 
Please help me.
 
Kitt
 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


enWayen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 1/12/2009 7:56 AM (GMT -7)   
Kitt!

Inhale, and count it as "1". Exhale deeply, count it as "2". Inhale deeply again, this is "3". Continue to due so until you feel the deeper calmness, the peace that is always within you. Right now, a storm is flying over you ocean, and the water above are stirred. But deep down, the water remains calm.

Kitt, how can you fail when you are perfect? You have not failed in a single way. Everything that happened did happen because it was the result of what and who you are. And it was never negative, everything is perfect, like you.

Dear Kitt, please now we are here for you! Please now we are proud to have you here, you are an inspiration to us all, and we are so proud of you to be such a support to us, your sister, and everyone else.

Hold on!
Acceptance is the key

The World is but a reflection. Smile, and it will smile back.

Try to keep smiling! :)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40575
   Posted 1/12/2009 10:03 AM (GMT -7)   
Erik is right Kitt,

You are a wonderful person. I know that you have been struggling with meds, but it isn't your fault. You just haven't found what works for you yet. But you will.

You give so much to everybody. You will be rewarded for that. And you will do fine with orientation.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


trying2getby
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 146
   Posted 1/12/2009 12:57 PM (GMT -7)   
Kitt,

You'll do fine. My thoughts are with you today.

Stay well,

Eli

Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2280
   Posted 1/12/2009 2:01 PM (GMT -7)   
Kitt,
You will be okay. Some of us just don't do well with meds, but you have taken the even more difficult route and found a way to survive just by talking yourself through the tough times. Put on a tape or go to that Mood Gym site or practice relaxation. You have done a lot of wonderful things with your life. You gathered the strength to go out & find this job. You have done much more difficult work in the past than substitute school nurse. Your mind is just trying to trick you saying that you can't do this. Don't believe that! You will be great! I have faith in you & you can come here for support whenever things start feeling overwhelming.

You do have a lot of stuff going on right now so it's understandable why your mind is being tricky & telling you to be afraid it's all too much. I'm sure I wouldn't even handle it as well as you are. Just keep telling yourself the truth over & over, even if you don't yet believe it:
You are a strong person.
You have succeeded at many things in the past.
You will be successful at completing your training.
You will be a blessing to that school & those students b/c you are well qualified to care for their needs.

Let us know how we can support you & know that many of us are looking forward to celebrating with you at the end of this week.

hugs & prayers,
frances

Confusedli
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 1/12/2009 2:29 PM (GMT -7)   
Kitt, Maybe you are being tossed out to the ocean, but maybe you will spread your wings and fly!
Confusedli
 
"The Optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious of the rose."
 
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain"


snowflake
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 595
   Posted 1/12/2009 3:24 PM (GMT -7)   
Kitt don`t give up hope .You have so many things going on and have gone on in those past three years that anyone would be tired of it all .
Please don`t feel you have let us down as you know you have been here for so many of us it`s time for you now .Please take care we all love and admire you and your courage it really does give us hope .
As for finding the right medication i don`t think any of us has found the right medication .
Take care of yourself .
Snowflake

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/12/2009 4:21 PM (GMT -7)   

Oh my dear family,

I made it..........my first patient was at the kindergarden school.....she had accidentally wet her pants............I rose to the challenge.  I know now that I have gone to 2 of the shcools that I will make it through.

I have always wanted to soar like an eagle  :)

I see what so many of you all go through and my issues are tiny yet my mind blows them up with hot air. 
 
I do not have any friends but one to call and I know if I call her I will cry so this morning I sat here and wrote to all of you and held back the anxiety when I wanted to pick up the phone and cancel.  I doubted why I was doing this to myself and the answer was easy, I want my self esteem back.  I want to know that I can still contribute to the world we all live in.
 
Thank you my friends..................you never fail me.
 
Luvs and hugs
Kitt
 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 1/12/2009 7:02 PM (GMT -7)   

Dear Kitt,  You have done so much for so many - you are not failing at all.  Erik is right about regulating your beathing. That seems to help me.  If I understand what you are saying I think your problem is with driving. Is that right?  I have had a problem with driving for years and I am doing so much better now and am able to cope with certain situations.  I always have a cell phone with me so I can call someone so that helps.  If I get too panicky I pull off the road and do my breathing techniques until I feel more secure. Also, stop lights can be a problem for me so I keep a pen and pad of paper in front with me and I concentrate on writing something, say a grocery list.  This helps.  I think if you are just concentrating on where you are going and don't think of anything else you will be OK.  Another thing you can do is if you have someone to drive with you on practice runs you may feel more confident. I did that for a while and it helped me.  You have a wonderful new job and I know you will be a great success so concentrate on the children you will be helping.  Do you have a med to help you with this?  I know klonopin is supposed to be good for panic but it did not work well for me.  Right now I use ativan and that seems to calm my anxiety. Please let me know if I can be of further help to you.  You are such a good and kind person and you deserve to have the good that life can bring. And never forget how very much you do contribute. You can and will soar like an eagle.

Many gentle hugs,

Aurora 


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40575
   Posted 1/12/2009 8:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Kitt,

I am so proud of you. You are taking a huge step and I know that this will come with ease. Keep up the good work of keeping the anxiety down.

Luv and hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


sadsoul
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 1/12/2009 8:29 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Kitt,

I'm so glad to hear you made it through the day. Things are almost never as bad as what our minds conjure up.
I have the utmost respect for nurses. My Mother was an RN and with some of the stories she told, I thank God
for the wonderful people like you, Kitt, who are there to help others. Your new job as a school nurse sounds like
the perfect nurse situation. You get to see cute little kids and I'm sure there won't be any days like the ones
spent as a nurse in a hospital. Peed pants, nose bleeds, throwing up - all that kid stuff - you can deal with that
and I'm sure you will do an excellent job. I can tell you are a very caring person from your posts to me and
others. Hang in there - you will get in the groove of things smilewinkgrin

Hugs,

Jean

Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2280
   Posted 1/13/2009 10:03 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Kitt!
Just wanted to drop you a quick note to say I hope you had another successful day & that I wish you well with everything tomorrow.

Peace,
frances

Gabby123
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 113
   Posted 1/14/2009 6:35 AM (GMT -7)   
Skitt,
 
   Sending hugs your way.
 
{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}
 
 
Love,
 
Gabby

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/14/2009 7:10 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks all...........well today is Wednesday and today I spend 4 hours learning the school districts computer program.
 
Do you think they can teach an old dog new tricks?
 
Yesterday went well, this is a complete 360 degree turn from ER nursing.  You know all the rules about not touching the children..........or if you need to disrobe for visual inspection you have to call someone to come and be with you.
 
I understand the reason for the rules and I think it is good to protect both the child and myself from any issues.
 
Much different than ER................  turn
 
I have always tried to go by the rule of giving yourself 6  months to feel really comfortable in a new position and I am doing that with this position too. 
 
So far I am doing well.  Trying to stay in the moment and no time for tears.
 
Love ya al
Kitt
 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40575
   Posted 1/14/2009 9:59 AM (GMT -7)   
Kitt,

I am so proud of you. You are doing great. And yes, you can teach an old dog new tricks. Where is the dog and what does it have to do with all of this?

You will pick these things up with no problem. Just focus. You can do this.

Luv and hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


FamilyGuy
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 3310
   Posted 1/14/2009 7:05 PM (GMT -7)   
I have faith in you Kitt. ((((((((((Kitt))))))))))
Jon,  Co-moderator for Crohn's Disease and Depression forums
 
"The man who insists upon seeing with perfect clearness before he decides, never decides. Accept life, and you must accept regret." -- Henri-Frédéric Amiel (1821-81), Swiss philosopher, poet 
 
Please allow HealingWell to continue helping others by donating: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/15/2009 9:28 AM (GMT -7)   

Thank you for your never ending support. The computer was not hard at all.................I learned a lot in the 4 hours.

Guess what, today is my first " schools closed" day so I guess I do not go to meet with the nurse at the highschool........it was only a one hour meeting so I will get it in next week.  Tommorrow I am booked early in the AM til 1:00 PM.

I have got my selfesteem back and I am feeling good about me.  I did it, after 3 years of sitting here I have picked myself up and gone back into the world of the living. 

Depression can be beat down even thow it may spike at times, I now feel good about me.  That makes a huge difference in my life.

Also weaning the Cymbalta slowly.

I owe so much to all of you.  Thank you.

Hugs

Kitt

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