Dear MX, I am so sorry you have lost people that you loved. It can be very hard to come to terms with such a loss. First of all, there is no time limit on grief. You feel the way you do and no one should expect you to get over it. Our minds are logical but our hearts hurt in a much different way. You said you have trouble talking to people about your feelings. You can come here anytime and there will always be someone to talk to you and to understand. Have you thought of going online to find a grief support group? If you find it hard to talk to people in person a grief support group might be able to help you more. Also, do you live in an area that might have a support group where people have lost loved ones and friends? Often hospitals or hospices have grief support groups and you don't have to have somemone who was in hospice. These groups are open to all. I truly understand how you feel. As time goes by you may be better able to come to terms with your grief. Time is always the healer. If you need to cry and it makes you feel better then let the tears come. I know you are having a hard time but we are here to support you and give you the time to listen to you. Please keep posting. I will always answer you. Try to take good care of you.
Many gentle hugs,
Aurora has some good advice for you. I think that a support group would help you. But that is entirely up to you. And as she said, there is no time limit on grief. We all grieve in our own unique way and there are no rights and wrongs where that is concerned.
I hope that coming here is helping you. I can tell you need some support and that you are really hurting. Like Aurora said, if the tears want to come, let them out. It is healthy to cry. It releases so much and cleanses us.
Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.