Teenage Depression

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Skillet
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 1/15/2009 7:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi,
 
Okay, so a little about myself. I am 16 years old and I recently moved to a new state. I realize a lot of people will probably think my problems aren't that serious and I am just a complaining teenager, but I personally think it is more than that. I am overweight and have always been shy, and I have socializing issues. I have a few close friends back at home but I havent made any friends here and I feel like everyone hates me.
My mom is also a some times recovering alcoholic and its difficult to live with. Everything always feels like its harder for me than anyone else. I just want things to be better. I sometimes think about suicide, but I dont think i would actually do it because even if my family isnt perfect I live them and dont want to ditch them, but I'm really not happy and they dont see that or dont really care. I am also slightly paranoid and think everyone is talking about me, but a lot of the time they are laughing at me shakehead . I have talked to my friends a little bit about how I feel but I dont want to stress them out even more than they are, they have their own things to worry about. Plus, I always feel uncomfortable after I tell people something secret about me, I usually pretend everything is fine so people wont know I am depressed.
I am just hoping talking to someone I dont know will be better and more helpful and I hope it works. Thank you.

Akram
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 616
   Posted 1/15/2009 7:30 PM (GMT -7)   
welcome to the forum skillet, we have teenagers here on the forum too with similar expiriences, I'm sure one of them will respond soon, this is a good place if you want to talk to other people running through the same issues.

my advice you should think about excersize, such as aerobics, to help you loose some weight and get some motivation. also don't be afraid to speak out to your close friends, or if you can afford it speak with a therapist.

and things can become better, all you need to do is be strong and don't loose hope.


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40575
   Posted 1/15/2009 9:21 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Skillet,

First of all, welcome to HealingWell.  I think it is wonderful that you found us.  There are a lot of kind and understanding members here and we are happy to have you as part of our family.  I think talking to strangers like this is healthy, so you have come to a good place.

Here are some resources for you.  You did mention that you thought about suicide so I wanted to put these down for you.

 

National Suicide Hotline
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
This is a combined network of the Amerian Association of Suicidology, the National Hopeline Network, CONTACT USA, and many other organizations. Call are automatically routed to the nearest crisis center to the phone from which the call for help is placed.

Helpful Web Sites:
Suicide Hotlines (listed by state)
Suicidal.com (includes Suicide Crisis Center and Depression and Suicide)
SuicidalTeens.com

 

I think it would be good for you to talk to a school counselor.  They could help guide you and be a good support system for you.  They would help you cope with your mom's alcoholism problems too.  My mom was a recovering alcoholic and it was hard living with her.  It puts a lot of stress on the family members at times.  Do you have any brothers or sisters?  I was wondering if you were the only one dealing with it.  Is your father supportive of you?  I didn't have a father at home and that made it that much more difficult.  I was the only child at home too. 

I hope that this has helped you some.  We have a lot of younger adults, your age, on the forum, so I think that you will feel right at home here.

Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

hugs, Karen

<!-- Edit -->
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


BlueChicken
New Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 1/16/2009 12:10 AM (GMT -7)   
You could totally have just described my life except for the moving and the alcoholic mother part.
I'm 17, was actually diagnosed with a social phobia, and have always been really shy. I have a few close friends where I live, but lately they've been kind of shunning me, so I'm alone a lot more often than I used to be. I'm dealing with the same paranoid feelings; that people are always looking at me or judging me, and that they're always talking about me behind my back. It got so bad that for a while at school I would rush across the courtyard as fast as I could to get to my class, but I just KNEW that they were saying bad things about me. I was also diagnosed with depression a while ago.
I've been seeing a psychologist for about a year now, and let me tell you, it really does help! I look forward to seeing him every couple weeks just for the fact that I know it's a safe place to let everything out. I can tell him whatever and he never judges me, he just help me figure out what I'm going to do to help myself.
I just have to keep reminding myself about all the wonderful things that are going on in life. I just got a kitten before Christmas, so my motivation is greatly improved cuz I have to take care of her now. There are a million things that can lift my spirits when I'm really down, and I know that sometimes you can't even think of any, but there's always something. It's sunny outside, I got an email from a friend, there's an old movie playing on the tv, my kitty sleeping in my arms...
I'd love to hear back from you! You're the first person my age I've found on here!
Loves! And all my best wishes!
~Blue
To acquire the habit of reading is to construct for yourself a refuge from almost all the miseries of life.
 
We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.


enWayen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 1/16/2009 1:44 AM (GMT -7)   
Heej Skillet,

Welcome to HW! I can somewhat relate to you as well, as I am an 18-year-old and share the same thoughts as you about thinking what others are thinking. It can drive me mad. But look at yourself, are you always judging others, thinking bad things of them? Are you, when with friends, pointing at others? Are you constantly on the verge of laughing when a certain person walks by? For me, this wasn't the case. I wasn't laughing at others. And the truth is there are a lot, and I mean a LOT, of people that won't judge you. They either don't care or have a good heart, but so many others just don't mind how you look like. They won't judge until they know you.

A quote that I always tell to myself, is: "You wouldn't be so worried about what others might think of you, when you realize how little they do". I hope that is translated a bit well, but you get the point.

But as already been said, a therapist can work. Maybe there is someone at your school. And of course, venting here can help you. I told things here that I've never shared with anyone else, and it helped me a lot.

Skillet, take care, and all the best!
Erik
Acceptance is the key

The World is but a reflection. Smile, and it will smile back.

Try to keep smiling! :)


Skillet
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 1/16/2009 9:34 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you everyone.
I hope talking on here helps. I really cant afford to see a therapist because my mom is the only one with a job. I have an older brother and I do live with father also and he understands how it for me when it comes to my mom because his father was an alcoholic too and my brother is great even though I dont get to see him a lot because he is at college. I do have good things but it seems like everytime things start to get better, something bad happens.
I am worried that my mom will start drinking regularly here where I'm not around my friends and have no where to go to get away from it, I dont even have my license yet I cant even leave. We have already had some issues with her drinking here and she has been drinking lately and I guess my dad has kind of given up arguing with her because he hasn't said anything about. She drank when my brother was my age, I was too young to really understand what was going on, then she was sober for 2 years and then she started drinking again about 3 or 4 years ago and last year she did pretty well but I'm just worried about the stress of living somewhere new will cause her to start drinking again.
We lived with my grandfather who had alzheimers for about 2 years and that was when it started again, my mom was stressed from having to take care of him 24/7. We moved out of his house and hired someone last August and then my grandfather passed away in January last year. We moved this summer because we could not afford to live where we were living because neither of my parents had jobs and we lived in a very expensive part of the country, but I wish we could have stayed there because that is where my few close friends are and the rest of my crazy family LOL.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40575
   Posted 1/16/2009 10:20 AM (GMT -7)   

Skillet,

I am sorry that you are going through so much with your worries about your mom drinking again.  I can understand your fears.  My mom was an alcoholic and started drinking when I was young and it really scared me.  She stayed away from alcohol most of the time, but then used pills.  That was even scarier to me. 

Have you thought anymore about getting counseling through school?  There are school counselors that are pretty good, so that might be something that you would like to look into.

I hope that you can start having contact with your old friends.  That would be wonderful for you.

Keep us posted and let us know what is going on.

hugs, Karen


  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/16/2009 10:55 PM (GMT -7)   

Hello Skillet,

Welcome to HealingWell and I am sorry I am late at welcoming you.

WE do have teens onboard and I am sure you will hear from others besides the great advice you have already received.

Know we support you and you are a part of the HealingWell Family.

Genlte Hugs

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


starofthebunch
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 1/17/2009 12:35 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey Skillet, I'm Ellen, I'm 17

I actually used to be almost exactly like you, I really kept to myself and I was always afraid that people were talking about me, or laughing at me, or thinking about me in a bad way. And then when they actually were, it was ten times worse and I would feel worthless and stupid.

Then, slowly but surely, I started to realize that they weren't always thinking bad about me or talking about me, and when they were, it wasn't as big of a deal as I thought before. It's always annoying when people tell you "it shouldn't matter what people think", because they obviously don't go to high school. It really does affect you when people think poorly about you, but the thing you have to realize is that more than likely, it's not as bad as you think.

I was in the hospital a few weeks ago for depression and school avoidance (one reason I didn't go to school was because I was afraid of what the people there thought of me), and while I was there I went through something called cognative behavioral therapy (CBT). Basically, it teaches you that your feelings are a result of your thoughts about a certain situation. Like at school: If someone is whispering and looking at you, you think "Oh... they're talking about me. There must be something ugly about me today, they must think I'm weird, so on...", and then as a result you feel sad and embarrassed. What you've got to do is change the thought that effects the feeling... instead of always worrying and thinking "there's something wrong with me that they're talking about" you might change it to "oh, someone is noticing me, I wonder if they're saying something nice about me". It's hard to change the thoughts, but not as hard as you may expect.


High school is really tough, especially if you just moved and you don't have a good support system there. Just hang in there, and try to stay positive. I'm always here to talk, too!

--Ellen
Your head'll collapse when there's nothing in it
And you'll ask yourself
"Where is my mind? "


enWayen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 1/17/2009 3:11 AM (GMT -7)   
Heej Skillet,

Ellen gave you some wonderful advice! CBT is somewhat of a trend these days, mostly because of its huge number of success. I think especially teens like us will benefit from it, as we tend to be the most open to change and new ways of thinking.

Have a wonderful day!
Erik
Acceptance is the key

The World is but a reflection. Smile, and it will smile back.

Try to keep smiling! :)


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/17/2009 9:05 AM (GMT -7)   

Good Morning Skillet,

Glad to see you have received some advice from Ellen. 

I am going to post a site you may want to take a look at if you have not already been to it.  It is full of info and a site that may help you learn some tips to help you deal with the teen years.

You are not alone even though it may feel like you are.

We are here for you so stick with us but don't be afraid to take a look at this site:

http://www.golivewire.com/

IMHO support groups are a place for people to give and receive both emotional and practical support as well as to exchange information. People with health conditions, as well as their friends and families find support groups to be a valuable resource and get confirmation that their feelings are "normal", educate others, or just let off steam.  Joining a support group is joining a family .

You are not alone anymore.

Hugs

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Skillet
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 1/17/2009 6:15 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you once again for all the great advice. I talked to my friend last night from back home and she told me she is always there for me if I need her and appreciate that but its hard doing this on my own here. I've always been considered "weird" and in middle school I had no friends and it was terrible and then the past two years I mostly got over my issues with being made for of because I had friends so I wasn't so paranoid anymore, and people either stopped making fun of me or I ignored it. I used to go to a really small school in a small town where I lived my whole life so everyone knew each other and of course we had mean kids but once high school started it wasnt so bad. Here I go to a really big school and the kids are so immature and everyone looks at me like I'm crazy. I've even had a couple of kids laugh at me directly in my face, so I just ignore it and try to hide and I only have a year and a half left of high school but its going to be a hard year and a half if I keep feeling like this. I have always been shy but over the years it has been getting worse, I dont know how to make that go away.
Being paranoid that people are talking about me is the worst but it is also rough just being alone all the time and having no one to talk to at school. I asked my dad if maybe I can be home schooled next year which I know wont help my socializing issues but at least it will get me out of there or there is a co-op program at my school where I just take the classes I need to take to graduate and work the rest of the time but I am worried that it will look bad to a college. Honestly to me the best solution would to go back to my old high school but that is not an option. I always knew that I would have to leave my old town at some point but I always thought that that would be for college and that by then most everyone would be more mature and that I wouldnt be this scared. At least I have a three day weekend to relax and try not to worry about it, its just that sometimes I just feel like the world is going to end I get this weird feeling in my stomach and then after awhile it goes away.
And to top it all off my mom was drunk last night, fun,fun,fun.
 
-Skillet


Akram
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 616
   Posted 1/18/2009 1:42 AM (GMT -7)   
it's a tough thing to be moved to a new school, without any friends. friends are important, you can try and make your own friends, I'm sure if u looked hard you can find good people, there is always both in every school, see if you can find them and get to know them maybe you can make some new friends. look how people behave in school and find those who seem pleasant to be around with, it's hard if your shy I know but you'v got to try and give it a shot. I hope things will work out for you :)


cathylynn
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 1/22/2009 1:54 PM (GMT -7)   
My heart just goes out to you. I too felt so alone in high school, I was so shy, didn't know how to make alot of friends. My shyness really held me back. Couldn't wait for high school to be over with. But now when I look back I would change so many things. Like that saying says, if I knew then what I know now is so true. I'm very happily married and have 2 kids, never thought happiness would find me. I know things feel hopless, its especially hard when you are a teenager, but things will change, you'll grow up, kids are cruel, you'll look back and wonder why was I so upset. Do you have any hobbies, clubs, voluteering, something to meet people to keep you busy, find your passion in life. I will keep you in my thoughts.

mom9mom
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 489
   Posted 1/23/2009 3:59 AM (GMT -7)   
Skillit I just want to tell you something.Your famialy probably knows that you are depressed but just do not know what to do to help you so thay just pretend not to see it.I say this because two of my older sons deal with depression at a young age and I just had know idea what to do to help them.I Knew that both of them would not take medication if I got some for them so I just turned my head away.Sense then I went in to a deep depression when my twin died and I hurt myself very bad before I would admit how sick I was.I now take my meds. everyday and you would think that after seeing what I did to myself that my sons would get help but even though thay both know that thay are dealing with depression neather will take meds. for it.I am asking you to please try to talk to your mom about this and see if there is anyway for you to get some help.Your mom could probably use the same type of help.A lot of people who are depressed drink alot to(I did know I do not drink at all).GOOD LUCK and I will PRAY for you
Lost half of my small intestineJan.2008.Ilieostomy for 5 months then reverst in June 2008,Nerve damage to right leg,part of my right hip bone removed Jan. 2008,Cronic pain,hernia,infection in my back called discites,and depression.Gallbladder removed Nov,2008.Mother to 9 kids 7 boys 2 girls and 1 stepson.4 grandsons,9 grandaughters.4 of my grandkids I inherited from my twin sister who passed away 6 1/2 years ago from a blood clot after surgery.God has given me my life back after I almost lost it.Even though its a painful and sometimes hard road to walk I take it one step at a time and give thanks to god for every step I take.


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/23/2009 8:17 AM (GMT -7)   

Skillet,

Please know coming here is a wonderful and courageous step. You are voicing your fears so you know what they are.

Temporary fluctuations in our self confidence are common, they happen to most of us. Try self talk, tell yourself you are fine. Tell yourself you can go to the party or what ever event you are fearing and that you will be ok. When you began to feel bad, such as being at a party with a whole lot of people you don't know, stop the stinkin thinkin and take a deep breath. Tell your self you are ok, many of the people at the party maybe feel the same way you do.

Keep talking to us and know you are normal.........your just going through a tough time..............You are not weird, you are unique and special.  If everyone was the same how boring life would be.

smhair   yeah yeah   yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah cool cool idea

Your own cheering squad.

Hugs

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


woodnutt
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 1/27/2009 8:20 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello all, just wanted to put my two cents in ,im 48 years old happy father of two teens. stumbled onto this site looking for some info.to all you kids i feel your pain,if any of you have ever seen christopher titus stand up comedy thats almost a mirro image of my happy child hood.drugs,depression,alchole,sexual abuse
 mental illness,tragety,you know all the good stuff.i had little or probly no self esteem,very shy,thoughts of beeing very differnt,and feeling of suiside.wasnt a very tough kid,was ridiculed alot;dint get much respect probly a poster child for suiside.But i fought threw it ,always had this litte voice telling me i was differnt,previously these thougths scared me ,thinking maybe i was nuts.but as it turns out i was differnt, I was better.Better than some of my freinds that were all f  up.we'll i put it all together,got my crap together and started to live.So it can be done kids all that crap in high school thats making you feel bad and angry at the world forget it. keep telling yorself you can do it and you will.everyday you must get up and tell yourself somthing great about yourself it really will work. Life is really not so much about surviving the storm  as it is more about learning to dance in the rain. cool                                                ps.dont cheat yourself out of a good time in high school youll regret it.                                                                                         

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40575
   Posted 1/28/2009 6:03 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Woodnutt and Christopher,

Welcome to our humble abode. Just kidding, welcome to our HealingWell family. I think that both of you gave some good advice.

Feel free to post on the introductory thread. I will bump it up for you both to see. We would like to know more about you two.

I hope that you both have a wonderful day.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 2/25/2009 2:05 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Depression Mods :)

Sorry to bug you but the link in Christopher 1 profile sig is a promotion. I deleted the one in the A/P forum :)

Have a nice day!
Much Love, Hugs, Peace & Comfort . . . Your Bro . . . Sam :)
 ~Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic Forum~
"Although the world is full of suffering. . . it is also full of the overcoming of it."
~Helen Keller~
Not a professional.  Seek your physician's advice before making changes to your meds or lifestyle.
 


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40575
   Posted 2/25/2009 4:14 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Sam,

Will do.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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