I feel like there's nothing worth living for.

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New Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 1/15/2009 11:59 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm a teenager, I just recently moved states about three months ago. I was perfectly happy where I used to live, I had my friends, good grades, and I was rarely sad about anything. Now that I moved I feel like everything is falling apart. We moved here because of family, but when I want to see them I hardly ever can. My grades are dropping, especially math, and I've always been very good at school. I'm a very quiet and reserved person so I'm not making friends too easily, I have people to sit at lunch with, but I don't like them and I hardly ever talk to them. I miss my best friend so much, I cant ever get in touch with her and I need to talk to her. The people at my new school are mostly african american and mexican, and I feel like they don't accept me because I'm white. Same with the teachers. My brother's the same as me, very shy and reserved, but he has our cousin who is the same age, 16, to hang out with. My parents have their old highschool buddies to hang out with. I'm completely alone. When I get home, I either sleep or get on this darn computer. I'm so tired of doing the same thing all the time, but I don't feel like doing anything else. I cry a lot. Especially tonight, I'm surprised I haven't ran out of tears. My parents say "oh it'll get better, you'll find friends soon," but it doesn't feel like it. I've done my best to give everything a chance. But I just cant take it anymore. I feel so lonely. I feel so sad. I don't know why I make such a big deal out of this, people have gone through worse. Life goes on. But I don't feel like moving on, I feel like take a big fat sleeping pill and sleeping until I turn 18 so I can go to an out of state college. I feel like nobody gets me, or what I'm going through. I think seeing a therapist would help me, but I don't know how to ask my parents. They have no idea what I'm going through, I put on a smile for them, and I'd like to keep it that way, because I want to keep them happy. We used to live here but we moved states when I was a baby, and they hated it there, so now they're off the walls happy. I just dont see any point for me to live anymore, other then keeping everyone else happy. I'm pretty far away from seriously committing suicide, but I just want to get this deep pain in my chest OUT.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40407
   Posted 1/16/2009 12:33 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi KN,

Welcome to the HealingWell depression forum. I think it would be good for you to go to counseling. I would talk to your parents about it or else go through the school.

You have only been moved three months, it takes time to make new friends. So give it a chance. I can imagine that it is hard for you. Nobody wants to be lonely. And I am sure you miss your friend very much. I hope that you can talk to her soon. Do you two email? That would help you keep in touch with her.

I hope that you make some friends soon. Give them a chance to get to know you. And take the time to get to know them.

Best wishes,

hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 1/16/2009 3:58 AM (GMT -6)   
Heej KN,

Welcome to HW! As Karen mentioned, counselling or therapy might help you. Maybe there is someone at school for this purpose.

It can be so hard to make new friends. But what I found out is, that people aren't judging you so much. Race doesn't make much difference either. I am a white guy, and one of my best friends was a black guy.

But there is a lot I can say about how little people judge you etc., but it is more important to lift your spirit first. When you are happy, it is quite easy to make new friends. When you're not, it is hell.

What Karen already said, is it possible to mail / call your friend(s) in the other state? Maybe you can mail or text your best friend to make an appointment for a call. And of course you can vent here. Currently there are a lot of teenagers on this forum, and some of them might be able to help you.

For now, maybe you could make a list of things you used to enjoy, doesn't matter how old you were back then. Just write everything down. Maybe there are things on the list that still make you smile. Because it is important to try and enjoy life now as well. Waiting for something to happen, to change for the better, can lead to joy, but also to great disappointment. And you are worth it to be happy all the time.

If there is anything I can do for you, let me know!

All the best KN!
Acceptance is the key

The World is but a reflection. Smile, and it will smile back.

Try to keep smiling! :)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1683
   Posted 1/16/2009 5:31 AM (GMT -6)   

teenage years are brutal, regardless of race, location etc. being a teenager often just sucks. its hard enough dealing with all of the emotional stuff that comes with being a teen, let alone trying to make a fresh start where you dont know anyone. i think its perfectly normal that you feel this way, and i am so sorry. I do think you should speak to your parents, but i have another option- im australian so i dont know how it works in the US, but im a high school teacher. i often refer kids to the school counsellor, who keeps your conversations private. they dont notify the parents about the counselling unless there is abuse, suicidal thoughts, self harm etc. do you have a school counsellor you could speak with?

I know 3 months seems like a long time and it feels like its dragging on, but i think in time, you will make connections with people who realise what a valuable person you are. this can be a slow process, but hang in there. dont give up and dont give in. you are not alone- i teach many teens who feel the same way you do. and hey- i remember high school. it can be a daunting place. i would consider the school counsellor, or finding a way to let your parents know how rough it is for you. i do also think you need to give it more time.

Im sorry, i know its a crappy feeling- keep us posted,

Maz XX

            'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)                  
Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, CFS, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Sinusitis, TMJ disorder, Endometriosis, PCOS, Chronic E.N.T and Upper respiratory tract infections, Reactive Arthritis, GERD,  IBS, Glandular fever, Migraines, Anemia, Chemical/Noise/Light sensitivity, Trichotilomania, PTSD, Seasonal Mood  Disorder, OCD, Benign Vertigo,  Impaired immune system. Tachycardia, tinnitus, low clotting factor= bruising. Tendonitis, Bursitis.
Meds: Zoloft 150mg. Xanax 4mg. Celebrex. Mobic. Panadeine Forte. Digesic. Nexium. Phenergan.
Multiple surgeries- I bear the scars of my poor physical health.
Age:28. AP first DX @ 10. Fibro etc DX @14. Proud Aussie.

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